Defining The Nest
by Cusswords
Summary: Robin Novak hates her mother's job, but when Casey is attacked at her office Robin's life takes on a new flight plan, landing her with something she's always wanted. Spoiler warning: Night.
1. Dropping the Ball

**Disclaimer:** All of the canon characters are the property of their creators. They're on loan right now though. Kind of like Rent-A-Center, but I'm not giving them back until I'm good and ready! That's right!

**A/N:** All silliness aside, thanks for checking out my story. I hope y'all like it. I love it when folks read and review, but you don't have to. This is my first SVU piece that I've put out so go easy on me y'all. Criticism is loved, flames are ignored. Also, this an A/U (Alternate Universe) story. It takes place at the end of season six (April/May 2005). I haven't really changed much, but I do admit the canon characters might be OOC. If you notice that they are, feel free to point it out.

With all that said, happy reading.

* * *

**Chapter One: Dropping the Ball**

Robin Dušana Katsaros-Novak stared at the copy of "The Cartoon Guide to Genetics" in her hands, trying to concentrate on the words there. The words and pictures blurred together until the little girl's head began to throb. Maybe that wasn't so bad; her grandmother hated it when she read at the table, and she sat down with her favorite book sometime ago, her pancakes long forgotten. Robin sighed and closed her book. She was so excited about later that she knew trying to focus on color blindness was pointless.

Excited, and afraid.

"Your pancakes are soggy," her grandmother, whom she affectionately called Yiayia, sauntered into the kitchen swinging a damp dishtowel. She cut her eyes at the book on the table and shook her head. Laughing, she ruffled Robin's coal black curls. "I'm going to have to hide all of your books or feed you intravenously. Finish your breakfast, all right? We have to leave soon. You can finish reading in the car."

"Who gets mad at a kid for reading?" Robin huffed, picking up her fork. She frowned into her plate as she sloshed a piece of pancake through her cold syrup. "I don't even like pancakes."

"All right," Yiayia pulled up a chair. She gently removed the fork from her granddaughter's hand. She smiled kindly at the girl. "What's worrying you Birdie?"

"Besides that you're calling me Birdie?" Robin snorted at her grandmother's arched eyebrow. She reached over her Yiayia and grabbed her fork. "Never mind. It's nothing."

"It's obviously something," Yiayia snatched the fork this time. She tilted her head and stared into the girl's green eyes. "Tell me."

Robin lowered her lashes and hesitated. She wanted to talk, but she wasn't sure her grandmother would understand.

Yiayia smiled gently. "Well?"

"Is it...is it okay for me to be nervous?"

"Of course it's all right, it's your championship game! It is, however, just a game. It may be your first, but it definatly will not be your last."

"It will be if I make my team lose," Robin huffed, pushing a few of her curls behind her ear. She picked up her precious book and hugged it to her chest. "They already don't like me because Mommy threatened to sue the pants off the entire league if they didn't let me play. If I let them down, I'll never be able to show my face again."

"Why would you even think something like that? You're the best catcher they could ever hope for."

"That's not what I'm worried about!"

"Well, what is it then?"

"I don't play my best without Mommy there and I'm scared she's not gonna come."

Ever since her mother got that stupid new job last year, Robin thought it was like living with a ghost. Before SVU her mother had plenty of time for her. They would go to the park and play catch on Saturdays. Mommy always worked on Sundays, but sometimes they would go bike riding or have brunch. Robin always shared facts she learned from one of her many genetics books and Mommy would quiz her on baseball stats.

Robin worshipped her mother ever since she could remember. They were almost identical, excect for Robin's unruly black hair and love of facts. Everything her mother did, Robin wanted to do. Especially baseball. She loved the way her mother's eyes would light up when she knocked one out of the park or when she didn't drop the ball after some boy crashed into her at the plate.

Robin hated SVU. Honestly, she was jealous of it. Sure, she'd shared her mother with her clerking job and White Collar, but her mother didn't come home sad after work back then. After her first day at SVU, Mommy hugged her close until both of them fell asleep in her bed. She kept whispering that she would protect her and that all she ever wanted was her to be was safe and happy.

"I'm sure Casey's going to try her best to be there."

"That's the thing," Robin picked up her now empty plate and walked it over to the sink. "She tries, but she always fails. She missed most of my birthday party because she got called in. We planned that party together. I know missing my seventh birthday doesn't seem that special, but it's special to me."

Robin bit her lower lip, her eyes stinging with tears. She swiped at them angrily and sniffled. She hated crying in front of people, even Yiayia.

"I know honey," Yiayia drew her into a sympathetic hug. She patted Robin's head softly. "I'm sure your mother misses being with you as much as you miss being with her. It's just that she has to work a lot to take care of you. Her job is also very important. She makes sure people who hurt kids like you and woman like me get what they deserve. Who would protect the people if a talented lawyer like your mother quit?"

Robin wiggled out of her her grandmother's arms, upset. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and declared. "This is Daddy's fault!"

Yiayia frowned. "Don't say that."

"It's true! If he didn't go crazy and run away, Mommy wouldn't have to take care of me all by herself!

Before she knew it, Yiayia was holding her at arms length. She was shaking her. Hard. "Your father is not crazy, do you hear me? My son isn't crazy! He's not crazy!"

"Yiayia! Stop it! You're hurting me!"

"Jesus Christ, Sara, what are you doing?" Pappou rushed into the kitchen and forced his wife away from their granddaughter. "What the hell is the matter with you?"

"Charles," Yiayia swallowed. "The things she was saying about him. I snapped. I didn't mean to react that way. Robin, I'm so sorry."

Robin's head hung, she dried her eyes on the sleeves of her baseball uniform. "S'okay."

"No, it's not," her grandparents said in unison. Robin cracked a small smile at that.

"I know you don't understand the issues your father had," Pappou looked between Robin and Yiayia. "The main thing I want you to know is, what happened with your father isn't your fault. It's not your Yiayia's fault or mine."

"It's not Mommy's fault either!"

Yiayia looked away from her.

"It's not even your father's fault. He has a mental disease that controls his thoughts. He had no idea what he was doing when he left us."

"Can't doctors help him control his own thoughts?"

"He isn't ready for help and we can't force him to get it," Pappou explained.

"I wish somebody would," Robin sighed. "I wish I could've known him."

"And I'm sure you will one of these days," Pappou patted her shoulder lovingly. "Now, dry those tears and get ready for the 'ol ball game! You have to be at practice in a few minutes.

"Did Mommy call while Yiayia and I were...talking?"

"No," he shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"I should've known," Robin shrugged and stared for the stairs. "I'll get my bag."

"You'd better watch yourself Sara," she heard Pappou warn harshly. "Outbursts like those won't make the situation any better!"

Robin backed further up the stairs. Suddenly she feared her grandparents, who until then had been one of the few people she really trusted.

* * *

"You're late," Jason Hunter, the pitcher and Robin's best-friend, informed her flatly. "I had to practice with Cameron and he whines about my fast balls."

"Sorry," Robin mumbled. She threw down her duffle bag and rummaged for her catcher's equipment. When she found it, she put it on and stalked over to the plate. "I had a talk with Yiayia."

"Are you on on punishment?"

She shook her head and gave him the fast ball signal. "That's all you got?"

Jason frowned. "What happened?"

"Where's your mom?" she asked quickly.

"Uh, over there," he pointed and waved to his mother. Ms. Hunter waved back and flashed a supportive grin at Robin. She was like a mom to her. Jason eyed his best-friend strangely. "She's at every game, why?"

"That's what happened."

"Casey's not coming?"

"Does she ever?"

"Sorry. You know, my mom can cheer loud enough for the both of us."

"There's no cheer like Mommy's," Robin hugged herself. "Every time she comes I play my best. This is the championship game! If I don't play my best, I let the whole team down."

"You're a good catcher with or without your mom," Jason stepped off the mound and joined her at the plate. He wrapped his arm around his friend. "You're my best-friend and we're a team. Even if your mom doesn't show up, you have me."

Robin smiled weakly. "Thanks Jase."

"Jason and Robin sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage."

Robin's cheeks turned beet red. She whirled around to find Brandon Hunter, the center fielder and Jason's cousin, smirking and pointing at them.

"Retard," Robin retorted.

"Takes one to know one," Brandon smiled smugly. "Anyways, Coach Vega wants everybody in the dugout--even husbands and wives."

"You'd better shut up or I'll rip you a new one," Robin inched towards him.

"Birdie," Yiayia called out, waving her cell phone in the air . "Somebody wants to wish you luck!"

"Mommy!" She squealed with delight.

_"Mommy,"_ Brandon laughed. "What a big baby."

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jason whack his cousin upside the head. She tore off of the field like a bat out of hell and rushed to her grandmother. Almost knocking her down in the process, Robin snatched the phone out of her hand.

"Mommy!"

"How's it going my little Piazza?" Casey asked. Robin could hear the smile in her voice.

"I'm good, but I'm really nervous. The game hasn't started yet. If you hurry you won't miss much."

"I'll try, but..."

"You always try," Robin whined. She wasn't much of a whiner, but this was the championship. Desperate times called for desperate measures. "People don't remember you for trying, they remember you for doing!"

"I should learn to follow my own advice, huh?"

"No, you should learn to love me just as much as your job!"

There was a brief silence. "I know I've been disappointing you left and right and I'm very very sorry. I promise, once I get this paperwork finished, I'll be right there."

"I need you here! I can't play if you're not here with me!"

"I'm sorry..."

"You're always sorry!" Robin swallowed the sobs she knew were dying to erupt. She said grimly, "Never mind. Don't come. I don't care."

"Robin let's go!" Coach Vega shouted from the dugout.

"I gotta go now," with that she hung up the phone and started towards the field. Jason put his arm around her while the team listened to Coach Vega try to pump them up.

* * *

"What's eating you?" Detective Olivia Benson stepped into Casey Novak's office carrying coffee and files. The ADA was staring at her cell phone, shaking gently like a leaf trembling in the wind. Olivia sat everything on the woman's desk and went to her side. "What happened?"

"My seven year old hates me," Casey sniffled and dabbed at her eyes with a kleenex Olivia handed her. "Not that I can blame her."

Olivia arched her brow at the mention of Robin. In the year they'd worked together, she came up no more than four or five times. "Wanna talk about it?"

"I promised her," she lowered her head into her hands. "She practically got on her knees and begged me to be at this game. All she wants is for me to be proud of her, to cheer her on. I gave her my word and I let her down yet again. I'm a horrible mother."

Olivia hesitated before covering Casey's hand with her own. "You're not a horrible mother. I'm sure she understands."

"She shouldn't have to understand coming second in her mother's life," Casey snapped. She jerked her hand away from Olivia's. "She shouldn't have to feel so alone. I shouldn't have to feel so alone."

"I know this has to take a toll on you, being a single mother and all," Olivia soothed. "It's perfectly normal for you to be overwhelmed. Maybe you should try explaining all of this to Robin. If she's as smart as her mother, I'm sure she'll understand."

Casey sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Sorry do go Dr. Phil on you."

"We all have our moments. I brought that cup of coffee for you by the way."

"Thanks," Casey took the cup the detective was holding out for her and took a swig of the hot liquid. Sitting it down, she exhaled with a small smile. "I'm sure you didn't come here to be my therapist. Anything I can help you with?"

"I was going to ask you how you felt about Megan Franklin testifying, but I think that can wait until tomorrow. I know a certain little girl that desperately wants her mother. I can drop you at the park on my way back to the precinct."

"Wow," Casey smiled up at her, genuinely touched. "Thank you."

"You can thank me by not spilling that coffee all over the car. Elliot spilt some last week and it took forever to the spoiled milk smell out."

Casey stuffed her files into her briefcase. "Fair enough."

* * *

"It's not your fault Robin," Jason followed behind his crying best-friend. "You're not the whole team."

Robin slumped onto the bench and sobbed into her glove. All she had to do was hold on to the ball just a little tighter and her team could've kept the lead. Everyone said they weren't mad at her, but she could see it on their faces. She failed and everybody saw. She kicked the dirt in disgust.

"Tell it's not her fault," Jason asked desperately when he saw Casey, Yiayia, and Pappou approaching the dugout.

"It's all right Birdie," Yiayia ruffled her curls. "You played so well today. I think you deserve some ice cream."

"No it's not, no I didn't, and I don't deserve any," she mumbled into her glove.

"Everybody messed up," Jason tried again. "We're not mad at you, honest. Tell her nobody's mad."

"Believe me, I know how hard it is to lose. I know deep down you know that today wasn't your fault and I also know how much you love your team and baseball. Sometimes, we have to lose to learn. You did what so many catchers have done since the beginning of the game, you dropped the ball. I'm sure Mike Piazza's dropped plenty of balls--especially when he was your age," Casey joined her daughter on the bench and wrapped a kind arm around her shoulder. "You win some, you lose, but you learn something for every single game."

Robin stopped crying, but her body stiffened. "I'm still mad at you."

"And you have every right to be. I apologize for missing your game. You have no idea how much I wanted to see you play today."

She peered at her mother over her glove. "Really?"

"Are you kidding me?" Casey nudged her. "You're the next Mike Piazza. Who'd wanna miss that?"

"I really wish you could've seen me, but you're here now and that makes me happy."

Casey grinned, hugging her. She planted a kiss on her forehead. "What about that ice cream?"

"I'd like that," Robin turned to her best-friend. "Can Jason come?"

"No," he shook his head. "Tomorrow's a school night and Mom doesn't like me having ice cream this late on school nights."

"Sorry," Robin poked her lip out sympathetically. "Maybe another time."

"Yeah. I gotta go now. Brandon whines when he has to sit in the car for a long time. Nice to see you Mr. and Mrs. Katsaros. You too Casey. Bye Robin!"

"Are you guys coming too?" Robin asked her grandparents as she packed up her catcher's gear.

"No," Yiayia glanced at Casey. Robin felt her stomach tighten. "You two should spend some time together. We'll all go out another time."

Robin noticed her mother didn't protest.

"Okay, well, see you guys tomorrow," she slug her bag over her shoulder and then hugged each of the goodbye. "I love you."

As she and her mother walked to the train station, Robin couldn't help but wonder about the tension between her mother and grandparents. Things were going to explode and she just hopped she landed on the right side--if there was one.

* * *

**A/N:** In case I didn't make it clear, Robin's father is the ex-fiancé, Casey mention in the episode "Influence." Thanks **Hedila** for telling me his name.


	2. Worried

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews guys. I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter. Thanks for the PM,** CocaCola1052**! It made my day!

* * *

**Chapter Two: Worried**

"Mommy?"

The small voice wasn't much of a fog cutter. It took a few seconds of determined shoulder shaking to raise Casey Novak from her dreams. She squinted at the little face, slowly beginning to make sense of everything as the familiar objects of her bedroom began to shimmer into view.

"It's time to get up! You said to get you up bright and early and not to take no for an answer."

Robin, her baby girl, was staring at her intently. Casey rested her hand over her eyes and groaned. "When did I say that?"

"Yesterday at ten when we came home, and again when I got up to pee and you were reading over your papers."

"Can I see some proof?" The smell of coffee Robin made wasn't enough to justify early. Not this early. Not today. Which was what? Friday? Saturday?

She rolled over and smiled into her daughter's green eyes. She reached over and ruffled the seven-year-old's dark curls. Without her or her job, how would she be able to make sense of anything else in her life?

"Stop staring at me and get dressed," Robin tugged at her mother's hand. "You're slow as molasses in the winter."

Robin, or Birdie as her grandparents affectionately called her, was a chip off the old block--the paternal block. Charles Katsaros would've been proud.

Unfortunately, the paternal block had been adamant about staying away from a psychiatric facility. She thought he was depressed in the beginning. He withdrew from everything and everyone. He didn't bathe, he didn't eat. He would forget to brush his teeth or to put on pajamas before bed. Nothing pleased him--not even being with her. Slowly the man she loved disintegrated into a dark, violent, and suspicious drone she couldn't recognize--or save.

She stayed until she almost fell right along with him. She talked him through the delusions, responding to him in the neologisms that replaced standard English. She fended off the blows. She hid all of the sharp objects in the apartment. She even bought foil to help him block out the malicious waves the CIA were broadcasting into his brain. She spent hours researching psychiatrists that specialized in Schizophrenia and facilities that could care for him in the many ways that she couldn't.

Schizophrenic or not, he was still Charlie and he was still stubborn. He flat out refused, accusing her of working with the CIA to destroy the plans for his nuclear engine. She pushed and pulled, begged and pleaded until she just couldn't take it. When she found out she was pregnant, she hoped the baby would inspire him to get help. When he tried to throw her out of their apartment window after a sermon about the baby being the spawn of George Tenet and how she was conspiring against him, she packed her bags and left his care up to his parents.

He'd only seen Robin twice, once when he snuck into his parents house when she was a little over a month old and another time when they ran into him at the playground when she was almost two. The first time he tried to shake the CIA microphones out of her, but the second time he was gentle. He pushed her on the swings for a few minutes before taking off. He smiled at Casey as he stumbled away from the park, warning her that Tenet would do anything to prevent him from building that engine. Anything.

Casey pushed the covers away and forced herself out of her warm bed. She smiled at her little trooper, bathed, combed, dressed, and ready to take on the day. Casey yawned and stretched, frowning at her reflection that proved she looked as bad as she felt. "Looks like you're ready."

"You promised me 'Mommy and me' time and I'm taking every last second. Breakfast, jogging in the park, shopping for the new cleats you promised me, catch, lunch, and then the batting cages. We can plan the rest along the way."

She glared the lamp Robin turned on. "What time is it?"

"Ten. I gave you two extra hours. Now get up."

"Fine," she shook her head. She nodded towards the coffee in the girl's hand. "You can leave that."

However, Robin was backing away. "I'm putting it by the bathroom sink."

"You're a cold hearted kid sometimes."

"But you love me anyway," Robin grinned mischievously. "Get up so we can eat and leave!"

"Who's the parent here?" Casey laughed. "Get out of here so I can shower and get dressed."

* * *

"It's almost eleven," Robin informed her from the kitchen table. She was hunched over a bowl of oatmeal, reading a book she kept open with the salt and pepper shakers. "You're bowl's on the counter."

"What did I tell you about using the stove?" she asked as she made her way into their crevice of a kitchen.

"Everything," she smirked. She rolled her eyes and tucked her hair behind her ears. "I used the microwave. We had a box of instant oatmeal. Anyways, did you like my coffee? Yiayia taught me how to make it."

"I did. It was very smart of you to use it to lure me into the bathroom," Casey patted her shoulder and sat down in the chair next to her daughter. "What are you reading about?"

"The sleep gene," her smile brightened. There was nothing that made her happier than talking about genetics. "It's called period3 an everybody has two copies. It comes in long and short. You either get two longs or two shorts or one of each and they say rather or not you can do things without sleep. It all depends on your parents."

"Which one do you think I have?"

"Short," she stuffed a spoonful of oatmeal into her mouth. "You can go to sleep late and get to work on time. I think I have the long combo because I can't do anything right if I don't get lots of sleep."

"That's why you should go to bed and not read during all hours of the night."

"What's the point of going to sleep when Yiayia puts me to bed when you're just gonna come and wake me up?" she snapped. She lowered her eyes back to her book, silently chastising herself for her outburst. "Sorry..."

"No, no, you're right. Maybe I should take your grandparents up on their offer and let you stay with them on school nights."

"No," Robin shook her head. "I don't mind."

"You do mind or you wouldn't have said anything."

"It's okay," she dismissed the thought with a wave of her hand. "I love Yiayia and Pappou, but you're my mommy and I'm supposed to live with you. I don't wanna live anywhere else but here."

"Robin..."

"It's not your fault you have a job that you love and," she paused and looked her straight in the eye. "It's not your fault Daddy ran away."

Casey glanced at the girl in front of her, her mirror image. Her brothers used to call her Junior to get a rise out of her serious little bird. Robin was always on her shoulder, her own little Jimmy Cricket, trying to assuage her guilt. It worked, sometimes.

"Maybe if I..."

"You didn't," Robin huffed and pushed her spoon around in her bowl. She propped her cheek against her hand, poking her bottom lip out. "I wonder what Daddy had."

Casey arched her brow. "You wonder if Daddy had what?"

"If he had the short of the long combo," she mumbled, continuing to slosh her breakfast around.

"I think he had the short combo. He'd stay up all night pulling cram sessions. Even I couldn't stay up with him. He'd just make a huge pot of coffee and work away. By the time I got up, he'd already be at the library studying."

"I don't even look like him. When everybody sees me all the can think about is you. It feels like everybody in the world remembers something about him and I just get the left overs," she complained bitterly as she threw her spoon back in her bowl.

Casey slumped her shoulders and sighed. She was quiet for a moment, as if she wasn't quite sure what she should do next. Robin wasn't sure either, so she settled for another mouthful of cold oatmeal.

"Come here," Casey said finally. When Robin came, she pulled her onto her lap and wrapped her arms around her in a loose bear hug. She kissed the top of her head. "Well, you definitely have the Novak stamp. You have your Pappou to thank for this hair though."

"Do...do you think Daddy loves me?"

"I know he loves you."

"Then why'd he leave me?" She shrugged her mother's hands from her shoulders. She wiggled around in her lap, trying to search her face for an answer.

"You know how you have a voice in your head that helps you make choices and helps you weigh right from wrong?"

Robin nodded, fiddling with the strings on her pajama bottoms. "Yiayia calls it my inner-voice."

"Imagine having your entire life being controlled by lots of different voices, not all of them telling you to do good things. Your Daddy loves you very much, but the voices were asking him to do dangerous things. He didn't want to hurt or scare you so he went away to protect you from his illness."

"They have medicine and doctors that can help him, but Pappou says he knows that and he doesn't want them. He could be with us if he got help, right?"

"The voices in his head will die if he gets help and they don't want that..."

"So they keep him locked up in his own mind," Robin poked out her bottom lip, flicking it up and down in thought. She sighed. "I don't like it, but I understand. I just wish I had normal parents, not a crazy daddy and a mommy I never see."

Casey opened her mouth, but before she could respond, a knock came on the door. "Who is it?" she shouted directly into Robin's ear.

"Ouch!"

"Sorry," Casey grinned sheepishly.

"It's Olivia."

She arched her brow quizzically. "Coming."

"Your office said you'd be here," Olivia smiled apologetically when Casey flung open the door. "Sorry to interrupt, but do you have a minute? It's about the Eldridge case."

"Uh, sure," she stepped aside ushering the woman in. She gestured towards Robin who was huddled over her genetics book, ignoring her oatmeal and her mother's company. "When she gets her nose into a book, it takes a charge of dynamite to shake her loose. Robin, close your book for a second and say hello. Olivia, this is Robin. Robin, Detective Olivia Benson."

"Hi," she said shyly. She immediately returned her attention to her book.

"Why don't you finish packing your bag while Olivia and I talk?"

"Okay, but it's eleven now. You guys have fifteen minutes," with that, she shut her book and made her way over to her book.

"She murdered her mother," she heard the detective say when they thought she was out of earshot. "The question is what made her snap?"

* * *

"Keep your eye on the ball!" Casey hollered from behind the fence. The batting cages were always crowded on Saturdays.

Robin growled and threw her bat to the floor. She hadn't hit a ball in the hour they'd been there. "I can't concentrate!"

"Wanna take a break?" Casey asked, picking up the bat. "We can have our sandwiches by the playground. Besides, I have to head to my office for a few hours and you have to go to your grandparent's."

"Why do you always have to go to work?"

"Because somebody I know loves having new baseball cleats. That somebody also happens to enjoy food and shelter."

"Jason likes cleats and food and Ms. Hunter stays at home. She makes money by having makeup parties. You should try it," they took a seat on the bench. Robin took her sandwich from her mother.

"Ms. Hunter also has a partner that works eight hours a day."

"You should get a boyfriend,"

"It's not that easy," she paused. "Wait a second? Why am I having this conversation with a second grader? Robin, eat your sandwich."

"Fine," she took a bite of her sandwich and looked down at her lunch. She chewed slowly, buying herself time. She wondered if she should ask. "Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"You know how there's a gene that tells your body how to act without sleep?"

"I do now, thanks to your science lesson over breakfast."

"Well, do you think the same thing works for killing? I mean, is there a gene that makes it easier for somebody to kill?"

Casey searched her face worriedly. "How much did you hear?"

"Detective Benson said that girl killed her mother and she wanted to know what made her do it? What if there's something in her genes that made her do it?" For a moment she paused, her face raised towards the sky, and then her eyes retreated to her swaying feet. "What if...what if something in my genes turns my mind inside out like Daddy's? What if I make everybody want to leave me? What if I leave my kids like Daddy left me?"

Casey's mouth opened and closed without any words coming out; her eyes darted around the park as if seeking inspiration or aid. She cursed herself for being so clumsy with children, Robin in particular. She knew these questions would come up, especially since Robin was fascinated by genetics.

"Robin...scientists aren't really sure what causes schizophrenia. Nobody knows rather or not it's genetic or if your environment causes it. I know it's scary for you to think about and I know I'm not the best person to explain it to you. How would you like to talk to somebody who knows and understands it better?"

"I'd like that."

The feel of her cell phone vibrating caused her to jump. "Novak. I'm in the middle...look can it wait? Okay. All right. Give me half an hour. I'll be there." She glanced at Robin apologetically. "I have to..."

"Yeah, I know. I'll see you tonight."

* * *

Yiayia and Mommy were arguing, which wasn't very surprising now that she thought about it. She wondered when everything was going to boil over. Robin buried her face in her book, trying to block out their harsh words. It was impossible, since they were in the next room.

She hated it when they fought. It always seemed as though the arguments would go on forever. There was never any shouting--neither of them ever really shouted. When things got really heated, their voices would get quieter and harder for Robin to hear. She didn't have to hear everything to know what, or who, they were arguing about.

"She's a child Casey," Yiayia shook her head. She narrowed her brown eyes at the young woman in front of her. "You can't have her ripping and running the streets at all hours of the night. She needs a stable routine, you know? A regular bedtime, time to do her school work--time with her mother."

She heard her mother sigh. She could see her rubbing her tips of her fingers against her temple. "I know. She wakes up, I drop her off here, and then she doesn't see me until after she's gone to bed. I get all of thirty minutes with her."

"I sense a 'but' coming," Yiayia shoved an errant gray curl from her eye.

"Somebody has to do this job and..."

"Oh don't give me that self righteous crap," Yiayia interrupted. "What about your own daughter, hmm? Doesn't she deserve to have her mother?"

"Of course she does and I..."

"Let's not even touch on the fact that your unit is far too dangerous! I read the newspaper! The last ADA was murdered after an investigation turned sour. You have a daughter to think about. What'll happen to her if you get caught in the line of fire?"

"Every job is dangerous, Sarah. I feel much better knowing that I'm putting away the very people that make my daughter's world unsafe to live in. Do I hate the fact that I don't have much time for her? Yes. Do want to give up on my job and the detectives I work with? No."

"She cried!" Yiayia yelled, causing Robin to jump. "She cried because you didn't come to her game. That child thinks you are the begin all and end all, yet she has to fight for a slot in your schedule. Being a mother is not about sacrificing your child to fulfill your own goals. You wanted a fast paced career? You shouldn't have had a baby!"

"Wait a second..."

"You don't love that little girl! She was just an excuse for you to push Charlie out of your life because he got too difficult!"

Robin hurled her book to the floor, flinching at her grandmother's words. Like a bird in a rush of wind, Robin flew into the living room. "You're a liar!" she shouted, her eyes brimming with tears. She might as well have fired a shotgun. Both women nearly jumped out of their skin at the sound of her voice. "Mommy does love me!" She rushed towards her mother, who allowed her to climb into her lap.

Casey pulled the child to her breast. She turned her cold, angry, eyes on Yiayia. Her mouth was drawn tight and her voice was cold with fury. "My daughter and I are leaving."

"I'm home," Pappou pushed the front door open, carrying the strawberry ice cream Robin begged him to buy. He paused, looking from his granddaughter, to her mother, and back to his wife. He swallowed. His eyes knowing. "What happened?"

"Yiayia did something horrible again," Robin pulled herself away from Casey's chest and glared at her grandmother.

"Again?" Casey slowly turned to the older woman. "What happened?"

"It was just a miss understanding," Pappou said quickly.

"Well there have been one to many misunderstandings for my taste, George. Robin, tell me what happened?"

"Nothing. I mean, it wasn't bad."

"Don't force her," Yiayia ordered.

"_Quiet!" _Casey hissed. She turned a gentle face towards Robin, who was desperately trying to keep the peace. "It's okay. You can tell me?"

Robin swallowed. She cut her eyes from her mother to her grandparents. "Yiayia shook me the other day, but please don't get mad! I said some horrible things about Daddy and she got mad. She said she was sorry. She's never hurt me before!"

Casey closed her eyes, her anger evaporating as she rubbed her temples. She let out a long breath. "Robin and I are going home. I also think I'm going to take Ms. Hunter's offer to watch her for a few days until we can lay down some ground rules."

"Now, hold on Casey, you can't just take her away from us," Pappou stepped further into the room.

"I'm not. I just think you all could use a break. Besides, Robin and Jason have been itching for a play date."

"I think you're right," Yiayia nodded. "Don't worry Birdie, we can hangout soon."

Robin eased into the coat her mother was holding in place for her. She stared down at her shoes. "I wasn't worried.

* * *

Thanks again for reading! The next chapter will take place during the episode **"Night.**" Until then...!


	3. Darkness

**A/N:** Hey y'all! It took awhile, but chapter three is finally up. This was the hardest one to write, let me tell you! Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews! They mean a lot.

So, happy reading!

* * *

**Chapter Three: Darkness**

Someone was calling her name. Casey jerked upright in the bed. Who's bed? Not her own. Her mind was foggy and her head was throbbing, her mouth dry and cakey. She stared into the blackness of the room. Nothing was distinguishable. Nothing to give her a clue as to where she was. She strained to listen for a moment. Beeping. Something was beeping. Her name. A soft voice was calling out to her. Olivia?

She brought the tips of her fingers up to her forehead, flinching as pain from what she assumed was an awful bruise surged through her head. She winced as she tried to find a more comfortable position in the bed. There wasn't one, seeing as the sheets were a shade above paper.

A dark-haired woman was sitting next to her bed, holding her hand, her eyes full of concern. She was the last person Casey expected to be keeping vigil at her beside. However, if she learned anything about Olivia Benson in the last year, it was that she was a jigsaw puzzle of a woman--half the pieces invisible to the untrained eye. Casey was learning though.

"Olivia?" she rasped, her voice a weak and tremulous whisper.

"Hey," the detective smiled kindly. "Try not to sit up, okay?"

"What...what happened? Why am I here?"

"You're in the hospital. You were attacked. You've got a concussion and a few broken ribs."

"How...?" Her mouth contorted and her eyes widened in fear. She gripped the sheets for support.

"I was hoping you could tell me."

"Didn't anyone...didn't anyone see? There were so many people there..."

"Where...?" Olivia asked gently. She didn't want to upset her.

"In the squad room."

Olivia regarded her kindly, softly stroking her hand. "No, honey, that was this afternoon. You were attacked at night in your office. Remember? We were talking…"

She shook her head vigorously, working herself into a panic. "Why? Why can't I remember?"

"It's okay. It's just gonna take awhile for you to get your memory back."

Casey's voice caught in her throat. Olivia was using her victim's voice. The voice she reserved for... "Did he...did he rape me?"

"No."

Deep, racking sobs erupted from her in a torrent of relief, shame, and terror. Olivia sat with her on the bed and said nothing, just allowing her to mourn the parts of herself she'd lost and to embrace the new understanding she had gained. They sat like that for few minutes until Casey tried to sit up. She yelped as she fell back with a nauseating dizziness. Olivia hurried over to help her with her pillows.

"Robin..." Casey said, using what little strength she had to fend off Olivia's help. She wasn't an invalid. She swallowed, trying her best not to let her pride get the best of her. "I'm supposed to pick her up! She must be worried sick. Call her grandparents, Sara and George Katsaros. Their number's in my cell phone and ask them to pick her up from the Hunters. Explain the...the situation to them and ask them to be vague with her. I don't want to worry her. It's very important that she doesn't see me like this!"

"I'll take care of everything. Right now, your priority is getting rest. Besides Robin's grandparents, are there any other people you'd like me to call?"

She thought for a moment. "My mother, Lillian. She's listed in my family contacts too. She can tell my brothers. Tell Robin I love her that and I'm going to be okay. And please, please make sure she doesn't come here."

"I promise," Olivia reassured her as she stood up. She started for the door. "Try to get some rest, okay?"

Casey nodded absently, drifting into a Valium induced slumber.

* * *

Robin hated hospitals. She hated the smell of them and the long, shiny corridors that led any and everywhere. She hated the swish of white coats that proceeded the doctors and nurses as they charged down the hallways and past the waiting room. Most of all she hated sitting in the loud waiting room with no book and no answers to litany of questions she'd asked Yiayia and Pappou on their way to Bellevue.

Finally a man that looked too young to be a doctor led them down one of the many passages. He guided her grandparents ahead, the three of them talking in hushed tones the entire walk. The doctor, who she learned was Dr. Parker, was gesturing wildly while Pappou nodded his head up and down, sharing worried glances with Yiayia.

Detective Benson met them at her mother's room. She was leaning against the door, arms crossed, foot tapping quietly but impatiently against the glossy floor. A man was with her. Robin couldn't see his face. He had his arm around her shoulder, squeezing hard. Upon seeing Robin, Detective Benson narrowed her brown eyes at Yiayia. She stepped out of the man's embrace and started down the hall.

"Hi Robin," she tilted her head and smiled a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. She looked tired, strained, but still strong. "Remember me?"

She nodded. "Detective Benson."

"Detective Benson?" Yiayia stepped forward and took the woman's hand. "Thank you for calling us."

Olivia didn't glare, but she didn't smile either. She looked between Robin and her grandmother, her brown eyes two warnings. "Robin, do you see that man over there?"

"Yes."

"That's my friend, Elliot. Why don't you sit with him while I talk with your grandparents."

She shook her head defiantly. "No--if this is about Mommy then I wanna hear it!"

Olivia looked to Yiayia and Pappou for support. Pappou kneeled down to girl's eye level. He reached for her hand and clasped it in his. "I know you're worried about your mother Birdie and that's okay..."

"I know it's okay! I don't wanna talk to that man! I wanna know why somebody would hurt Mommy!" Robin shouted with the frankness of a child. She snatched her hand away from her grandfather's and looked up at the detective. "I wanna know too!"

"I promise we'll explain everything as soon as Detective Benson and Dr. Parker fill us in. How does that sound?"

She frowned, but agreed. "Fine, but I wanna know."

"Casey asked you not to bring her here," Olivia fastened her sharp gaze on Yiayia once she saw Elliot entertaining Robin. "That was one of the first things I said to you on the phone."

"Once we told her that her mother was in the hospital, she couldn't do anything but cry. We figured it was best for her to know that her mother was okay and being well taken care of," Pappou explained. "Casey is the only parent Robin has ever known and she worships her."

"Not that it's any of your business," Yiayia chimed in, folding her arms in front of her chest. "She was terrified and worried sick. You being in the line of work that you're in, I figured you of all people could understand that."

"I understand if that little girl walks into that room and sees her mother covered in bruises from head to toe, you're going to have an even bigger problem on your hands."

"We don't owe you an explanation! We did what's best for our granddaughter and that's the end of it. You can talk until you're blue in the face, but you can't make us feel guilty about it."

The detective and her grandparents were still talking when Elliot had to step away to take a phone call. He seemed reluctant to leave her in front of her mother's room, a room she wasn't supposed to go in. With all the sincerity she could muster, she promised him that she would stay put.

Robin watched him disappear down the hall. Out of the corner of her eye she watched as Dr. Parker explained something which looked important. Yiayia and Pappou were lost in his words. Olivia had her back to her. If she was ever going to have a chance, this was it.

In a flash she jumped up from the bench and pushed her mother's door in quietly. The room was dark, but not pitch black. A small amount of light was filtering in from the street and the buildings across the way. She could hear the steady beep of the machines as she stole further into the room. She couldn't see her mother's face, but Robin felt her presence like a blinding beacon of light.

She had to cover her mouth to keep from crying out. A myriad of cuts and purple bruises covered her face and body. A rainbow of tubes hung from beneath her her gown. She looked over her mother's body, searching, trying her best not to cry. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to remember the woman that dropped her off with the Hunters.

She had classical features, simple but beautiful, framed by a head of blonde hair. A few freckles dotted her slender nose and finely chiseled cheek bones. She wore her favorite blue trench coat, the one they'd picked out together. Robin opened her eyes and frowned at the thin hospital blanket covering her mother. It made her look thin and breakable.

Robin approached her as if fascinated. Shaking a bit, she started to touch her mother's arm, but she drew her hand away as though she'd been slapped. The bruises were bigger up close. Swallowing, she reached for her again and gave her arm a slight tug.

"Mommy," she whispered directly into her ear. "Wake up. It's me, Robin."

She didn't even stir. Robin stuck her finger under her nose to make sure she was breathing. Feeling the cool air, she shook her a bit harder. "Mommy! Wake up!" She tugged harder, feeling the tears she had held back beginning to spill. "MOMMY! MOMMY, GET UP! WAKE UP!"

"Robin, oh sweetie, we told you to stay out of here," Olivia pushed open the door. She pulled the screaming child away from her mother and passed her into her grandmother's arms. "It's okay honey."

"Robin it's okay. There, there, it's going to be all right," Yiayia rocked her gently. "Everything's going to be all right. I'm right here. You're okay."

"Why won't she wake up? I was calling her and she didn't wake up!"

"Honey the doctors gave your mother medicine so she could sleep without feeling the pain," Pappou explained, picking her up and carrying her back into the hall. "She's in a really deep..."

"A coma?" she interrupted quickly. "She's in a coma?"

"No, no," he shook his head. "She's just in a deep, deep sleep. She'll probably come out of it tomorrow morning."

"I wanna see her when she wakes up!"

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Yiayia took one of her hands in her own and kissed it. "Casey needs lots and lots of rest so she can heal."

Robin took a deep breath, then nodded slowly, letting the air out. "When is she coming home?"

"We'll try to have her home to you within a week," Dr. Parker said, finally stepping into the conversation. "It'll take awhile for her ribs to heal, but her bruises will go away in no time."

"Can I come and see her again before she comes home?"

"I'll talk to your mom when I come to check on her tomorrow," Olivia offered.

"Thanks," she smiled dimly.

Pappou pinched her cheek encouragingly. "Why don't you and I head down to the cafeteria for some ice cream? I hear they have rainbow sprinkles."

She nodded without raising her eyes.

"All right, all right," he patted her back. "We'll be back."

"See, that's exactly what she was trying to avoid," Olivia snapped, with a sniff of contempt. "Would it have killed you to listen?"

"Hopefully, that way we could kill two birds with one stone!"

Both women turned around to find a middle aged brunette smirking at them, her jaw tight with triumph. She was tall, almost too tall; slender, upright as a column, with dark hair, and defiant blue eyes. She was dressed in a close-fitting ivory tailored suit which followed her form exactly and was enhanced by a small brown leather pocket book. She was graceful, like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany's.

"Lillian Novak," she offered her hand to Olivia. She had a deep voice, rich in her Southern accent "Casey's mother, you called me earlier. How is she?"

"She's out of the woods. She's got bruises though, horrible ones. She's got a concussion and several broken ribs. She should have a smooth recovery, all she has to do is take it easy and allow herself to heal."

Lillian let out a laugh at that. "Casey's a stubborn as a Georgia mule and she's got a steal rod of pride to match. I'll have to blackmail her to get her to accept help, but what are mother's for? Never mind all of that though, where's Robin? Has anyone told her?"

"That's what Mrs. Katsaros and I were were discussing. Casey specifically asked them not to bring Robin here and they completely disregarded that. Robin ended up trying to shake her out of her drug induced sleep. Needless to say, she didn't take that very well."

"Before you get stared," Yiayia closed her eyes and counted to three. She opened them and focused on Lillian. "George and I did what was best for Robin. Casey didn't explain her reasoning as to why Robin couldn't..."

"Let's get somethings straight here, shall we? If my daughter wanted to swing naked from a church bell, she still wouldn't owe you an explanation. Robin is her child and hers alone. Your son may have donated the sperm, but that's the best thing he's contributed to my granddaughter thus far. Secondly, if she asked you not to bring Robin to the hospital, then you should've honored her request. By doing so, you would've found that she had a method to her madness!"

"I admit that it was wrong to bring Robin here, but you're not here on a daily basis. You don't see Casey constantly sit that little girl aside for everything and everyone that falls out of the sky!"

"Well, you indulged her and now she's traumatized! Hypothesis explored, experiment tanked. Next time, respect my daughter's decisions."

"Contrary to popular belief, Robin has two parents and even though Charlie is out of the picture, George and I still have a say in what goes on in her life."

"You can stand here and say anything you like. Help. Your. Self. While you're flapping your jaws, Robin and I are going back to my hotel."

"You can forget that! She'll be better off staying with George and I while her mother recovers. Robin isn't going anywhere..."

Robin walked over to them, leading Pappou by the hand. She stopped licking her ice cream cone. "Not going where?"

"I was just telling Lillian that Pappou and I are taking you home with us tonight."

Lillian brushed past Yiayia and kneeled down to Robin's eye level, speaking softly to her. "How would you like to spend the weekend with me? You can show me around the city. We can go to brunch and have dinner at your favorite restaurant. Hell, we can spend all day sifting through thick science books and scribbling down trivia on index cards if it'll make you smile."

Robin considered her options. She could simply spend the weekend with Yiayia and Pappou, reading and worrying about her mother all day long. Or she and Grandma Nana could get out for awhile and take her mind off everything that was happening. Maybe Grandma Nana could convince Mommy to let her visit.

"I'm going with Grandma Nana," she declared, crashing into Lillian's open arms.

"It's settled then," Lillian stood up and slid her arm around her granddaughter's shoulder. She fixed her eyes on Olivia. "Where can I find my daughter's personal belongings?"

"Most of her things are at her office. I can swing you by there if you like."

"Would you? You're such a doll," she nodded her goodbyes to the Katsaros' before taking Robin's hand and following Olivia out of the hospital.

"I'm glad you're here," Robin smiled up at her.

"Me too, Robin Hood, me too."


	4. Brotherhood

**A/N:** Hey folks!! Sorry it took me so long to update. One word: Finals. Another word: Why? Anyway, I really can't stress how much your support means to me. You guys really make this story worth writing!

I'm also glad you liked Lillian! She's my favorite as well. She's a combo of my mother and grandmother with a little bit of my favorite television characters thrown in for good measure.

**CocaCola1052:** that's crazy! Is your sister anything like the character?

Sorry about not posting a spoiler warning. I'll correct that.

Well folks, happy reading!

* * *

**Chapter Four: Brotherhood**

Olivia strolled into Casey's hospital room carrying flowers and a card only to find a warm, but empty bed. She sat the gifts on the night stand. "Casey?"

"I'm here, just give me a sec."

Olivia heard a noise that sounded like running water. "Uh, Case, what are you doing?"

"I'm peeing," she replied tartly, not pleased with having to justify herself to everyone that walked into her room.

"What the hell were you thinking?!"

"That I'm sick and tired of doing my business in that cold ass bedpan!"

"Your mother was right, you are incorrigible," Olivia rolled her eyes with a smile.

"I'm finished anyway."

She turned and allowed Olivia to help her back to her bed. She was surprisingly steady on her feet, although a little bent from her injuries.

"Are you this strong or are you pretending?"

"Pretending. I'm good at it aren't I?"

"Yes, unfortunately. You really shouldn't be up. You've got so many stitches you look knitted together."

'If I had torn a stitch I'd be dripping blood all over your shoes. I'm not. So I didn't."

Olivia shook her head. "Do you need any help getting back into bed?"

"No, I can make it," she eased into the bed slowly, placing her weight on her right shoulder. She let out a soft grunt and rolled onto her back. She tried to sit up, but her ribs wouldn't have it. Forcing her point, she gave her body a sharp tug. She paid for it of course. "Jesus Christ!"

"Kornelia Catharina Novak, lay your narrow ass back down," a male voice called out from the threshold. Tall and dark, he had black hair and warm, inviting blue eyes. He regarded the two women with a lively expression. "Mama would have a cow if she found out you re-injured yourself on account of you acting like a spoiled brat."

"And don't take the Lord's name in vain," another, younger and shorter, man pushed his way into the room. He had the same blue eyes as the first, but that's where the similarities ended. He was short and stalky with a head full of unruly auburn waves and pale skin. His mouth tilted in a mischievous grin, a grin Olivia had seen countless times. He focused his gaze on the detective. "Who's the pretty lady?"

"Oh put it back in your pants, will you?" Casey rolled her eyes. "Why are you here anyway?"

"Oh come on," the taller one grinned broadly, stepping further into the room. "You're our baby sister! There's no other place we'd want to be. Besides, Mama said you asked for us."

"Must've been the Morphine talking."

"Where's your southern hospitality, Kornelia," the red head kept his eyes on Olivia. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

Casey drew in a breath. "These are my brothers. That big lug is Deacon and the Opie clone is Lukas."

"Creditors call me Lukas," he shook the hand Olivia offered him. "Everybody else calls me Lucky."

"I agree with Casey, keep it in your pants," Deacon gave his brother a light shove. "I'm Deacon. Deak for short."

"Nice to meet the both of you," she arched her brow at her friend, surprised and mischievous laughter in her eyes. "Kornelia?"

"Doesn't she look like a Kornelia?" Lucky snorted at Casey's death glare.

"Our father's name was Kornel and it's a Novak tradition to name daughters for their fathers," Casey explained. "While Daddy was in Vietnam, Mama did laundry for the women in our town to make ends meet. Nancy Bishop, one of her steady clients, was pregnant too. Mama's due date was a few months shy of hers. Nancy miscarried a week after she learned her brother's helicopter had been shot down. She was going to name her daughter Catherina, for her grandmother. Mama promised if I was a girl that's what she'd name me."

"That's one hell of a story," Olivia smiled.

"A lot better than mine," Deacon let out a whistle. "I got my name from none another than Charles Louis Phillippe, better known as Deacon. He pitched and won the first World Series game ever. Dad was an avid baseball fan and wouldn't let Mama rest until she agreed to the name."

"Casey didn't keep the Novak tradition alive though," Lucky shook his sister's foot through the blanket and grinned. "Junior should've been a Charlotte or Charlene or some feminine form of Charles."

She started to answer, but Deacon interrupted. His face dimmed as though a candle had been put out, and his smile vanished. "How's Junior taking...this?"

At the mention of her daughter and the previous night, Casey's expression shifted from sad to guarded. "She isn't. Charlie's parents have her. They told her that I was hurt at work, but she hasn't seen me yet."

"I talked to Mama this morning," Lucky said. "She said she's had Robin since last night."

"What?" she turned her eyes on Olivia. "Did you tell my mother where Robin was?"

"Would you mind giving us a minute?" Deacon moved to her bedside and, taking her hand gently in his own, looked between his brother and Olivia.

"Uh, sure," Lucky nodded. "Olivia, you're a native of the Big Apple. Know any good caffeine dives?"

"Of course," Olivia reached out and squeezed Casey's shoulder. "We'll be right back."

Casey drew in a deep breath and looked her brother in the eye. "Lay it on me straight."

"With no chaser?"

"When have you ever given me one?"

"Point taken," he sighed. "Robin was here last night."

"I told Olivia in plain English not to let that happen," she said, hearing the tension in her voice as the anger rose like bile in her throat.

"I spoke with Mama this morning and she told me Charlie's parents were at fault. You know how Robin gets when she worries, especially about you. They said she cried until they agreed to bring her. While they were meeting with your doctor, Robin stuck in and tried to wake you. When she couldn't, she freaked."

"Oh God," She ran her hands over her eyes, despite the pain. "How is she?"

"Mama says she's been a little reserved. You know, not talking and poking at her food. She gave a little smile when she found out Mama was taking her to the New York Hall of Science."

"That always does the trick," she laughed a little, wincing at the pain in her ribs.

"Take it easy," for the first time since he walked into the room, he really looked at her--the split lip, the cuts, the bruises, and the black eye. His eyes darkened, lost in a memory. He'd seen her like this before, when... "Charles!"

"Charlie? What about...oh please, you can't honestly believe it was him!"

"He's done it before! I should've listened to my first mind and kicked his ass then!"

"Drop the macho older brother routine, okay? You're aggravating my injuries. I haven't seen Charlie since Robin was two. He has no idea where I live or where I work."

"For a lawyer, you sure are naive," he moved a away from her bedside and started pacing. "I mean, think about it. If the Katsaros' would bring her to the hospital against your wishes, what do you think they would do if their precious boy asked them how to get in contact with you about Robin? You've said so yourself, they want nothing more than to have the picture perfect family, no matter what it costs."

"No," she shook her head. "I don't think Charlie had anything to do with last night."

"Why do you always cover for him? You're like his parents, enabling him!"

"Because he's the father of my child!" she shouted. "Besides, there's nothing to cover up!"

"What about Robin? What if he snaps and takes out his frustration on her? Then what?"

"He wouldn't hurt her!"

"If he's lucid!"

"What the hell's going on in here? I could hear you all the way down the hall!" Lucky pushed open the door, his eyes darting between his brother and sister. He frowned at Deacon. "Dr. Parker asked you not toupset her."

"I'm trying to get to the bottom of this damn thing and I think I have."

"Oh, really?" Lucky folded his arms. "Do enlighten us, Sherlock."

"I think it was Charles, Robin's father."

"Well, you've made a complete as out of yourself yet again. And, yet again, I have to redeem you and the Novak name."

"Do you actually have a point?"

"While Olivia and I were getting coffee, her partner called. Seems as though they got the perp on camera. It was Nina Zergin's brother."

Casey nodded, her eyes unreadable. "Are they going to hold him?"

"Yeah. Her partner was questioning him when she left the cafe."

"I'm sorry," Deacon said after some time. "I know you and I haven't ever seen eye to eye on that Charlie feller, but I shouldn't have jumped on you like that."

"It's fine," she waved him off. "You were just being a protective older brother. As annoying as you both are, having you here makes me feel safe."

"You're scared, aren't you?" Lucky asked sympathetically.

"Of course I'm scared," she snapped. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. Her face was tinged with sadness. "I'm sorry, it's just that I've never felt so helpless. I did everything I could and he overpowered me each time. A lamp, a damn bat, nothing worked. A door can't close sharply without me jumping out of my skin. And Robin...I couldn't protect her from seeing me and now she's traumatized."

"None of this was your fault Casey," Deacon leaned in and kissed her forehead. "You did what you could and you survived. There's no shame in that. As for Robin, well, she'll come around. When you feel comfortable, just explain the situation to her."

"And speaking of protective older brothers," Lucky said. "I spoke to the rest of the gang and Clay said he's gonna try to get up here Tuesday. Jimmy's plane gets in tomorrow and Wesley's should be here by Friday. "Clay and Cheryl Anne said they'd bring the boys to cheer Robin up at little bit."

"They don't have to put their lives on hold because of this. I'll be out and about in a few days."

Lucky rolled his eyes. "Stoic to the end, huh? Just like Daddy. Look, we know you're gonna need a few hands. I had some vacation time coming anyway. Clay, Jimmy, and Wesley too. Robin, JR, and Travis haven't been together in a dog's age. It works out Kornelia! All you have to do is sit back and let it."

"Okay, okay, all right," she waved her arms in surrender. "If you all want to waste your frequent flyer miles, knock yourselves out. Just know, I'm not an invalid. I can take care of myself."

"And just know we're not that pretty detective. You can't pull fast ones on us," the ringing of his cell phone interrupted him and snatching it off the holder on his hip, Lucky hastily answered, "Hi Mama."

"Hi Uncle Lucky!"

"Robin?"

Casey pushed up on one elbow, her eyes full of surprise. Lucky pushed the speaker button. "Hey Junior! Where's Grandma Nana?"

"In the shower. She doesn't know I'm calling you. I heard her say you and Uncle Deak were visiting Mommy so I found her cell phone and called. Anyways, can I talk to her?"

Lucky looked to Casey for her approval. She looked unsure, scared for a moment even, but she nodded nonetheless. "I'll pass you to her."

"Hi Champ!"

"Mommy!" Robin squealed. "I've been waiting to talk to you all day! Are you okay? Are you feeling any better? When can I come visit? When are you coming home? Is Grandma Nana gonna stay so you can get better?"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down there," she laughed. "Take a second to catch your breath. I'm doing a lot better than I was yesterday. I haven't talked to my doctor so I don't exactly know when I get to leave, but I know it'll be soon. As for Grandma Nana staying, I'll have to take that up with her."

"What about me visiting you?"

"Robin..."

"I'm sorry I snuck into your room. I know you didn't want me to see, but I had too! Nobody would tell me anything. I was so scared that I'd never see you again! Please don't be mad at me! " she cried, her voice shaking with unfeigned distress. "I promise I'll never do it again."

"Oh no, Robin, I could never be mad at you. I know dealing with all of this must be hard and scary and I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm doing okay and before you know it, I'll be home."

"Please let me come see you," the little girl whimpered. "Seeing you last time was scary, but I'm used to all the bruises and stuff. I just wanna see you."

Casey felt her heart break for her child. She swallowed hard, pushing past an obvious reluctance. "Let me speak with Grandma Nana."

"But Mommy, you didn't answer my question!"

"I know, but you gotta trust me. Pass Grandma Nana the phone."

"I'm sorry, I didn't expect her to do this," Lillian said after a brief silence.

"Being a detective is her true calling. Anyway, thank you so much for cleaning up the Katsaros' mess."

"She's my grand-baby, I'm supposed to play the Big Bad Wolf on her behalf. Besides, it wasn't that big. She's a little shaken up, but just give her a few days. The Hall of Science did wonders by the way. It really got her talking."

"It always does," She hesitated. Her bottom lip began to quiver. "What should I do Mama?"

"Everything will work it self on out Ladybug," Lillian said with conviction of someone who knew. Time had proven again and again that she always did. "As for her visiting you, I think it would do her some good now. She needs to hear what happened from you. If you don't tell her, she'll allow that imagination to whip up countless scenarios and wind up digging herself into a deeper hole."

She ran her fingers through her hair. "I guess that settles it."

"I'll bring her by tomorrow afternoon after church lets out."

"Uh, church?"

"She insisted on being a 'good Catholic' that way God will make you better. Before you shape your lips to have a fit, those are her words and it was her idea."

"Just don't go trying to turn her into a Catholic school girly girl. You tried that before and look how I turned out."

"A successful prosecutor and devoted single mother with horrible taste in men."

"Mother..."

"Oh, it's Mother now? I love Charles for being the second variable in Robin's equation, but that's all the room I can give. You need to reign his parents in and fast before you end up in the middle of a battle royal."

"As soon as I can formulate a sentence without my lips feeling like they're being shred apart, they'll be handled accordingly."

"Well, on that note, I'm going to let you go. It's almost Robin's bedtime and she insisted on morning Mass."

"Give her my love."

"Will do. Also, ask your brothers to give me a call when they leave."

"All right. I love you and thanks for the advice."

"I love you too Ladybug. Now be a good little patient and get some sleep."

* * *

Thanks for reading!

**Next up:** Robin visits her mother and the Katsaros'.


	5. Cards

**A/N: **This chapter was interesting to write, let me tell you. I had to re-write it several times, so you all had better like it :-p.

**CocaCola1052:** Dude...! This really is crazy. Maybe I should just name two characters after your other two family members as a tribute to you because you're so nice in your reviews :-)

I'm glad you found what you were looking for **TVCrazed**!

**Little People:** I love your reviews. You catch my clues :-).

And all of my other lovely reviewers, thanks! Your support means a lot!

:wipes tears and folds up speech:

Let the reading commence!

* * *

**Chapter Five: Cards**

"Call the presses, Hell has frozen over," Casey teased when Lillian and Robin strolled into her room Sunday afternoon. "Is there any way I can get you in a dress without having to involve the All Mighty?"

Robin smoothed her dress and wrinkled her nose. The truth was she would have been perfectly happy having a conversation with God in jeans and a t-shirt, but Grandma Nana did everything but beg her to put on her new dress. Robin felt sorry for her. All she had were grandsons and the one granddaughter she had, she had to fly almost two hours to see. However, she could've done without all the pink flowers and the matching shinny pink Mary-Jane's. Not to mention the curly pigtails that refused to stop bouncing and the sparkling white ribbons Grandma Nana had tied on too tightly.

She looked up at her mother, she was looking a bit better. The black bruises had yet to make their way from her eyes, but her skin had regained some of its color. Robin smiled. "I couldn't say no to Grandma Nana. She doesn't have any girls to dress up in Virginia."

"I didn't have any girls to dress up in Georgia either," Lillian smirked at her daughter as she pulled two visitors chairs to her bedside. "Did I ever tell you about your mama and her Pumas?"

Robin shook her head, she looked eagerly between her mother and grandmother. "No! What happened?"

"Your granddaddy bought her these blue suede tennis shoes and boy you couldn't tell her anything. She wore those bad boys day in and day out. She would've worn 'em to bed if I let her. She wore those shoes into the ground, do you hear me? They were covered in dirt and holes, but she wouldn't let them go."

"How'd you get them away from her?"

"Somehow I convinced her to wear another pair and I threw them in the trash while she was at school. You know what she did?"

"What?"

"She took herself right on out to the cans and dug 'em out! She wore 'em until there was nothing left to wear!"

"Mommy, you're nasty," Robin declared. She shivered at the thought of digging through mounds of garbage, at wearing stinky old shoes. "That's how people get diseases! You don't know what was in the trash! You could've been tracking God knows what into the house!"

"My little germophobe," Casey reached over and tweaked one of her curls. With soft hands she stroked her face caressingly. "Oh, I missed you, Champ, but here you are! Here you are, and gosh, you look taller."

Robin rolled her eyes. "You're such a mommy. It's only been a day," her face softened. She seemed to be trying to collect herself, as if she was unsure of what to do next. She reached over and took her mother's hand in her own. "I missed you too. Mommy, why would somebody wanna hurt you like this?"

Casey looked up at her mother who nodded her encouragement. She scooted over a bit and lifted up her covers. She patted the place next to her. "Come here."

The little girl nestled in her mother's arms, her hair sprawled out on her mother's chest. Casey rested her chin on her daughter's head. She stroked her chubby cheeks tenderly with her thumb. "You know how I work with Detective Benson to help protect people from bad people that want to make the city unsafe."

"Yeah."

"Well a few weeks ago, a woman was hurt by a very bad man. He wanted to feel powerful and strong and like what he thinks a man is supposed to feel like. So he hurt this poor woman because he believes that in order for him to feel all of those things, somebody else has to feel weak and ashamed."

"Did that man hurt you?"

"No, but the man who did had some of the same reasons. The woman's brother found out about what happened to her and he was very upset. He wanted to protect his sister, but before he could, the man who hurt her tried to send her out of the country so she couldn't tell me or a judge what he did to her. I went and asked if she could stay so I could protect her and hold the man accountable."

"What's so bad about that?" Robin tilted her head in confusion. "Why wouldn't he want that man to pay for what he did to his sister?"

"See, in order for the government to allow her to stay, I had to tell them what the man had done to her. In her country, a woman who is hurt in the way that she was is considered unlovable and men won't want to marry her."

"Why? That's stupid! It's not like it was her fault."

"Honey, their beliefs are different, not stupid. Anyway, when her brother found out that I told people what happened, he was very upset. In his eyes I'd embarrassed him and his family and I'd ruined his sister's life. In order for him to take the shame away from his family he came into my office and beat me up."

Robin was quiet for some time, lost in thought. After some time, she reached for her mother and they held each other in silence.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," Robin said, pulling out of the embrace. "I know it's wrong for me to hate those men, but I do."

"It's okay for you to feel however you need to feel."

"It's okay for you to feel however you want to feel too."

"And how exactly am I supposed to feel?" Casey didn't mean to shout, but her endurance was fading. She didn't know what she was feeling anymore. There were so many emotions, so many thoughts churning around inside of her head. She didn't know which ones she wanted to embrace, which ones she wanted to bury. She turned away and, despite herself, the tears came, tears of weakness and disappointment, tears of fear and shame. She covered her mouth tightly with her hands, trying to keep it inside, trying to keep quiet. "I'm sorry...I..."

Robin gazed up at her mother, her eyes wide, her mouth open, like she was seeing something not quite real. She'd only seen her mother cry twice, both times she was supposed to be asleep. She didn't know what to do, and she hated the feeling. It was almost worse than the fear.

"I didn't mean to upset her," Robin looked between her sobbing mother and her grandmother. "I didn't mean it."

"I know you didn't," Casey took her hand. "I didn't mean to yell at you. It's just that..."

"I know," Robin said.

"Is this a bad time?"

The Novaks looked up to find Yiayia and Pappou standing in the threshold. Yiayia was carrying a bouquet of Lilacs and Daffodils, Casey's favorite flowers. Pappou wrapped his left arm protectively around her when he caught Lillian watching them.

"Calling works wonders in that department," Lillian folded her arms and arched her brow. "Y'all don't spend time in the 'Respect People's Wishes' department either."

Yiayia narrowed her eyes and cleared her throat. Pappou decided to speak first. "We can come back..."

"No," Casey shook her head and used a tissue to dry her eyes. Her voice was sharp and fringed like the edge of a saw. "We need to talk and I've found that there's no time like the present."

Robin gulped. "Uh...should I go outside?"

"Not by yourself," Pappou turned to her. "How about another trip to the cafeteria?"

"I have a better idea," Casey pushed her call button and within a few seconds, an older nurse came strolling into the room. "Hi Patricia."

"Nice to see you awake," Patricia smiled warmly. "Aren't you a popular one? You've had visitors everyday since you checked in. Anyway, what can I help you with?"

"I'd like to you to meet my mother Lillian Novak and my daughter's grandparents George and Sara Katsaros. And this little one is my daughter, Robin."

"Well aren't you as cute as a button?" Patricia pinched the girl's cheeks and grinned. "Has anyone told you you look just like your mother?"

"Yes," Robin nodded. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Anyone with eyes could see the resemblance. Anyone with a mouth would ask her that question too. "Thank you."

"The four of us need to have an adult conversation and I was wondering if you could take Robin down to the pediatric ward. I heard they have a little play area."

"Sure! Just ring your call button when you're finished and I'll go down and get her."

"Thanks so much."

"Try not to kill each other," Robin said, jumping out of Casey's bed. She took the hand Patricia offered and they walked out of the door.

Lillian let out a whistle of appreciation. "Insurance is a beautiful thing."

"Thats one thing I can say for Casey's job," Yiayia half smiled. "Casey may not have time raise her, but she'll be well taken care of if she breaks her leg."

"I hope therapy comes with the package. God knows you people sure have the skills to warp the poor kid for life," Lillian deadpanned.

"Of for God sake, will the both of you calm down," Casey shook her head. "Now, I think we need to clear some things up. Robin is my daughter and as far as I know, I'm her legal guardian. Therefore, if I make decisions about her well being, they're not up for debate."

"We were trying to help..." Pappou started.

"We're not discussing what you hoped to do, we're discussing what you did. I understand your reasons and I get why you'd bring her here, but the fact of the matter is she had no business seeing me that way. It terrified her. It still does."

"I told you this would happen, didn't I?" Yiayia fumed. Pappou placed a calming hand on her shoulder but she shook it off. "We had this conversation a few days ago, did we not? I asked you what would happen if you got caught in the line of fire. Now look at the mess you've made."

"Now what just a minute. The mess she made? Robin was fine until you decided to bring her here!"

"And how the hell would you know Mrs. Novak? You all just love to sit and around and gossip about how George and I are the root of all of Robin's problems."

"No, you're the root, stem, and branch of _Charles_' problems. Casey is the single mother and while your help makes a difference, she's basically raising Robin on her own."

"And that's her fault!" Yiayia shouted. "She got herself knocked up and when she realized my son was too fragile to do what she wanted, she left him to fend for himself!"

* * *

Robin knew she wasn't supposed to wandering around, after all, she did promise Nurse Patricia that she would stay put. However, she figured it was best for the both of them if she found her way back to her mother's floor. If Nurse Patricia pinched her cheeks or called one of her co-workers to look at the "little doll" one more time, she would have killed one of them. She made a note to herself not to feel sorry for Grandma Nana anymore. The results made her stomach turn and her cheeks felt like they were on fire. When Uncle Clay and Cheryl Anne came, she was going to ask them to try for a girl next time.

She reached down to slip her hands deep in her pockets, like she always did when she needed comfort, but she realized the table cloth Grandma Nana thought was a dress didn't have any. She grumbled and settled for snapping her fingers against the top of her fist.

Along the way to the elevator, she wondered if her family was falling apart. It seemed like Mommy and Grandma Nana hated Yiayia and Pappou. Mommy and Yiayia never really got long well, at least not that she could remember. They always smiled and talked, but she could tell it was one of those "for the kid's sake" things that grownups did to make kids feel better. Pappou was with Robin, always in the middle, but he usually stalked back over to Yiayia's corner when her blood boiled.

All of their fights had to do with Robin or her father. Everyone blamed his illness for something or other—including her. Her thoughts shifted to him. She wondered what he was doing or where he was going. She wondered who his friends were or what is favorite sport was. She wondered if he was missing her.

She could hear the yelling as soon as she stepped out of the elevator. She didn't know what they were saying—and she didn't want to—but she knew they were arguing about the night before. She hated being the monkey in the middle. She hated having to jump up and down to catch their attention, having to let them know that she felt too. She felt something wet on her arm and she slowly brought her hand up to her eyes. The tears were hot and thick and embarrassing. She had to hide. She just wanted to fly away.

"Hey, watch where you're going!"

Robin hadn't realized she was running until she was on the floor, staring up at the biggest gray eyes she'd ever seen. They were perfectly round and shiny, like two polished quarters. They were narrowed now though. They were confused, concerned, and a little angry. A small olive skinned hand was hovering in her face, urging her to take it. She did and the owner of the eyes was smiling at her.

"Are you okay? You shouldn't be running in the halls."

"Sorry," Robin mumbled, dusting off the front of her dress and her legs.

"It's okay, but it's a good thing you ran into me instead of the wall," she laughed. "Then you would've been a patient instead of a visitor."

Robin arched her brow. "How do you know I'm a visitor?"

"You don't have a bracelet on."

"Oh."

"Anyways, what's your name? I'm Lulu."

"No you're not."

It was her turn to arch her brow. "Huh? How are you gonna tell me what my name is?"

Robin sighed and took her arm. On it was a white hospital bracelet, much like the one her mother was wearing. The name Thelma Whittemore was scribbled in fine print. "Well?"

"Would you wanna be called Thelma?"

She thought for a moment. No, definitely not. She made a note to thank her mother.

"I didn't think so," Lulu brushed a few loose brown strands behind her ears and scratched her nose. "My Mom named me after the movie Thelma and Louse. You know the one were these two old ladies get in a car and run away from the law? At the end they drive over a cliff so the police can't get them. My Mom watched that movie all the time while she was pregnant with me. She said they were strong women and she wanted me to be strong too. She started calling me Lulu for short because she thought Thelma sounded too old."

"Sorry I jumped on you like that," Robin stared down at her shoes sheepishly.

"It's okay. I mean, you just have good eyes. You should be a detective when you grow up."

"I'm going to study genetics when I grow up. I read genetics books everyday so that I'll be ahead when it's time to go to college."

"You must be really smart…uh…what's your name again?"

"Robin Katsaros-Novak. I don't have a cool story about my name. In my family girls are supposed to be named after their daddies, but my mom didn't want to do that anymore. My mom's named after her dad and my great-aunt is too. She never said why she didn't keep it going with me, but my Grandma says Novak women never do what they're supposed to. We do what we want."

"I like you already. Why are you here?" Lulu asked. The two had started walking down the hall. Neither of them knew where they were going.

"My Mom's here. She got hurt at work. You?"

"My sister broke her arm," she answered.

She didn't hesitate or stumble, but something told Robin there was much more to it. She didn't push it though. "How old are you?"

"I turned eight in January."

"I'm seven, but I turn eight in November. Are you in the third or fourth grade?"

"Third. My sister, the one who broke her arm, is in the fourth. Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

Robin shook her head. "No, just me and Mommy."

"I've got two sisters and two brothers from my mom and four brothers and five sisters from my dad."

"You've got a huge family," Robin let out a whistle. "I'd kill for one brother or sister, let alone thirteen of them."

"Trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Everybody is either too old to do anything with you, they don't know or don't care that you're alive, or your parents yell and scream a lot because all of you make their heads spin."

"I'm sorry," Robin fiddled with one of her curls, unsure of what to say or do.

"It's not your fault. So, what school do you go to?"

"Fresh Meadow School in Flushing. You?"

"Really?" Lulu gasped, stopping in her tracks. "Me too."

"I haven't seen you there before and there are only third second grade classes."

"That's because I'm new. We moved to Flushing from Jamaica last month. I start next week."

"This is weird."

"No it's not, it's fate. Somebody somewhere figured it would be good for us if you rammed your head in my stomach. My mom says life deals the cards; it's how you play your hand and use your luck that makes it worth living. Maybe you're my luck."

"Maybe," Robin smiled.

"Where were you crying?"

"I wasn't."

"Liar. I saw you. You had big crocodile tears coming out when you ran off the elevator."

"Family stuff."

"I understand. We have lots of that where I live."

"Thelma Louise Whittemore! What part of 'stay with Danielle in her room' didn't you understand?!"

Then Robin saw, just for an instant, a look of sheer terror in Lulu's eyes. Both girls turned around slowly and found themselves under the scrutiny of two livid gray eyes. Robin stepped back a bit, silently chastising herself for leaving the waiting-room.

"Hi Mom," Lulu smiled as though nothing was wrong. "I was just showing Robin where the bathroom was."

Robin watched the woman cautiously. The family resemblance was unmistakable, now that she was looking at her as somebody with a purpose rather than a woman who was going to chew her a new one. Her face was worn, her cheeks were thin, her mouth drawn tight and firm. Her eyes lost the fire Lulu's had. Her clothes were tattered and colorless and she had a lit cigarette dangling from her mouth, despite the no smoking sign in the hallway.

She narrowed her eyes and took Robin in. She didn't seem to like what she saw. Nevertheless, she plastered on a fake smile and poked out her hand. "Nikki Burton, Lulu's mom."

"Robin Katsaros-Novak," she shook the woman's cold hand.

"Robin and I go to the same school," Lulu grinned up at her mother.

"Really?" Nikki looked right past them. Her voice flat as pond ice. "Maybe the two of you could get together during the summer."

"I'd like that," Robin grinned over at Lulu, who seemed just as excited. "I'd have to ask my mom."

"You do that," she nodded. "Lulu and I have to be going. They're discharging Danny soon."

Without a word of goodbye, Nikki dragged Lulu down the hall by her arm. She was leaning over, whispering something. Somehow Robin knew that her new friend needed all the luck she could give.

* * *

"Need I remind you that your fragile son tried to throw my daughter out of a two story window!"

"He was having a rough patch--"

"Patch? Hell, he was having a rough farm and you two gave him the fertilizer to have one hell of a crop. That boy needed help and instead of supporting Casey in her attempts to get it to him, you distanced yourselves."

"With that said," Yiayia glared at Lillian. "Why on Earth would you bring an innocent baby into the picture?"

"You're obviously suffering from a bout of amnesia, so let me be a stand for you and check you back into reality," Casey spoke finally, vibrant with anger. "I had no idea what to do with a baby. My life was unraveling strand by strand. I could hardly keep myself afloat. I made my choice, but a woman showed up at my door in tears. She begged me not to destroy the only thing she had left of her son. She begged me not to take away one of the last good deeds he'd done. So I kept a I child I didn't want--"

"You didn't want me?"

Robin watched as one by one, the adults in the room turned to look at her. She was shaking, and her eyes were wide with confusion. Her mouth hung open for a moment, and she took a step backwards, as though that would erase everything.

"No...no...Robin...you don't understand," Casey started, but Robin was backing further away.

"I heard everything! Yiayia was the only one who wanted me!"

"Oh no honey," Lillian pushed past Yiayia and reached for Robin, but the girl drew away. "Your mother was young and..."

"I understand now. That's why I always come second because I was an accident!"

"Hey, hey, it's not like that at all. Robin, listen to me..."

"I don't wanna hear it!" she shrieked. "I wanna go with Yiayia and Pappou!"

"Robin..."

"Leave me alone!"

"Maybe it would be best," Pappou finally offered something to the chaos. "Just for tonight anyway."

Casey nodded silently, her eyes never leaving Robin.

"Come on Birdie," Pappou scooped her up. "Let's wait for Yiayia in the car."

"Sometimes all you have to do is sit back and let the cards play themselves," with that, Yiayia followed her husband and granddaughter out of the room, creating air that would hang over everyone for a long time.

* * *

**A little preview of the next chapter:**

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I could hold my head up high_

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I first saw you_

"It's Been A While" -Staind


	6. Beyond My Means

_A/N: Hey folks. It's that time again! Thanks so much for the great reviews! I love them all!_

_futureforensic: I'm glad you started reading this too! I love your Casey story. You capture her character very well. It really is a great read! I wanted to ask what details were hard for you to follow? I'm asking so I can patch those bad boys up!_

_And that brings me to my next point: to beg you guys a little. If you catch typos, please point them out. When I proofread, my mind tends to correct my mistakes as I read them so I can't see them on the screen. So, please, if you catch something feel free to point it out._

_All righty then, let's get it started...!_

* * *

**Chapter Six: Beyond My Means**

"Maybe she didn't mean it the way you thought she did," Jason took a sip of his lemonade and sat his glass on the porch. "I mean, it might not be as bad as you think."

Robin cut her eyes at her best-friend. "It is bad! She said 'a baby I didn't want,' that sounds pretty bad to me."

Robin was glad Yiayia and Pappou let Jason spend the day with her. Normally, they would've tried to distract her from the idea. It's not like they didn't like Jason, they always asked about that 'sweet little boy you play with', it's just that they didn't get on to well with his parents—his two mothers. She didn't understand for the longest. What did that have to do with what kind of friends they were or if they were good parents to Jason? Why did it make the boy next door, who had one mom and one dad, a better friend? Her mother explained that Yiayia and Pappou has been raised believing a family is supposed to look a certain way and if it didn't, it wasn't real. She said it was wrong to think badly of a person because of their differences and that she should continue loving her friend, no matter what other people thought. She knew that was true, but since yesterday everything her mother ever told her felt like a lie.

"She said 'a baby' not a Robin. Maybe she didn't want you then, but you can tell she wants you now. Babies are a lot of work, you know. They don't do anything but cry, eat, and spit up all over the place. They wake you up in the middle of the night and they sleep during they day so you can't do anything you want anymore. I don't care how cute you were, I understand why she wouldn't want you back then."

"Gee thanks," Robin rolled her eyes and swatted playfully at his arm. "Lucky for you, I know you're talking about Josie and not me."

Jason groaned at the mention of his baby sister's name. Little Josephine Hunter was not on her big brother's list of favorite people. "Never mind Josie, this about you and your mom. She didn't say she didn't want you, she said didn't want a baby. She didn't know you were you until later. Maybe she didn't want the work."

"Yeah, well, why is her stupid job and those detectives more important than me? They see her more, she talks to them on the phone, and she drops everything and everybody when they call. I wish Yiayia didn't beg her to have me; that way I could've been in a normal family that had time for me."

"People change all the time," Jason laid his head on her shoulder and looked up at the cloudless sky. "My moms hated each other in high school, but then they went to college and then you know the rest."

"It's not the same," Robin sat up straight, knocking Jason off of her in the process.

"Are you having fun being mad or something? It's like nobody can cheer you up."

Robin took a deep breath. Her mother always said girls matured faster than boys. "No it's not fun being mad! Nobody's saying anything that's making this easier."

Jason sighed, he'd never known a time when he couldn't make her feel better and they'd been friends since kindergarten. He decided it would be best if they quiet. If she had some time to think, maybe she would come around.

"I met a new friend at the hospital," she said finally. She started fiddling with her hair, twisting it into a bun on top of her head.

"Boy or girl?" he said, happy that she wasn't sulking anymore.

"Girl and her name's Thelma, but she likes to be called Lulu."

"Where'd she get Lulu out of Thelma?" He scrunched up his nose as if something smelled.

"They same way That Lady got Casey out of Kornelia," she'd taken to calling her mother 'That Lady'. Pappou tried to talk her out of it, but she was still a stubborn little Novak. "She's named after some movie about lady outlaws. Her whole name Thelma Louise, but her mom calls her Lulu because Thelma sounded too old."

"I'd rather be anything but Thelma. That sounds like somebody's grandmother that bakes cookies and spends everyday at church."

"I don't think Lulu will ever bake cookies, even when she's old."

"How'd you meet her?"

"I rammed my head into her stomach."

"Why does somebody always have to get hurt before they get to be your friend? I met you when you tried to beat the snot out of Brandon and now that Lulu girl meets you when you knock the wind out of her."

"She didn't get hurt. I was the one who hit the floor, but that's not the story. The weird thing is, she goes to school with us."

"Really? Is she in our grade or is she older?"

"A year older. She's going into the fourth when school starts up in the fall."

"Does she do girly things or is she like you?"

She shrugged and lifted her glass off of the porch. "We didn't get to talk that long. She said she'll be at school this week. She can hang out with us."

"She'll have to put up with Brandon."

Robin rolled her eyes and grunted. "I don't think Lulu will find anything scary about your cousin. She already has lots to deal with at home."

"You don't know if she likes girl or guy things, but you know that she has lots to deal with at home?"

"I met her mom and she doesn't seem like the type that supposed to be somebody's mom, even though she has a gazillion kids."

"Was she mean?"

"I don't know how to put it. She made the room cold though and Lulu was afraid of her."

"Like Brandon is of his Dad."

Robin furrowed her brow, as she always did at the mention of Jason's not yet removed cousin. "Yeah."

"Who's that getting out of the cab?" Jason changed the subject.

Robin shrugged, glancing into the street over the rim of her glass. "The old lady across the street's sick. She's been getting lots of visitors."

Robin found herself watching as one by one, the occupants of the taxi climbed out. It was obvious that they were a family. The man reminded her of the models she saw in her mother's fashion magazines, wearing only their underwear or pretending to kiss a perfect woman. She watched him help his wife out of the car by her hand, like a limo driver. She looked delicate and dainty, like those porcelain dolls Aunt Carly collected and forbade her to touch. The man laid his head on the woman's shoulder and she cradled his neck in her hands. Robin imaged the old lady across the street was his grandmother and he was bringing his family to say goodbye.

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I could hold my head up high_

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I first saw you_

The man paid the driver before removing their bags from the trunk. The woman slid her hands into two children's, a girl about Robin's age and a little boy about three and started towards the sidewalk. The man looked up from the suitcase he was carrying and he nearly tripped over himself. She watched him watch her, all the while trying to place his blue eyes. He smiled and then she knew.

She screamed for her grandmother.

"What in the devil are you--Charlie?" Yiayia's hand flew to her mouth and tears

sprang to her eyes. She swallowed hard and blinked, expecting her youngest son to disappear like he always did. He didn't. He was real and she didn't know how and she didn't care. He was home. "Charles! Oh my god!"

He dropped his bags and ran to her and folded her in his arms; and he kissed

her hair and thumbed the tears away from her eyes. "Oh Mom, I missed you so much!"

"You don't know how long I've waited for this," Yiayia clapped her hands and tugged at his cheeks. "My baby boy. George! George, get out here now!"

"Gee Sara, I wondered if the neighbors heard you."

"Hi Dad."

"Charles? Charles, is that you? Well I'll be...come here and give your old man a hug!"

The held each other longer than they ever had. Pappou patted his son's back and wrapped his arm around him. He meet the eyes of the smiling woman and her neat little kids. He arched his brow at her platinum wedding band.

"You're married?"

Charlie nodded, a grin spreading across his face. "Four years and still going strong. I'd like you all to meet my wife Krista, my daughter Taylor, and my son Chuckie. Krista, these are my parents George and Sara. Kids, these are your grandparents and this little lady..." he focused on Robin, who hadn't moved an inch since they started up the walk way. "...is your sister Robin."

"I've been dying to meet all of you," Krista embraced her in-laws and flashed a warm smile at her step-daughter. "Especially you Robin, your father talks about you all the time."

Robin flinched at the word "father", but her face remained unmoved. Everyone exchanged worried glances.

"Can you greet everyone?" Pappou gave her a gentle nudge, but she remained silent.

Sighing, Charlie looked at his daughter, then squatted don to her eye level. "I missed you so much Robin."

She still said nothing. Her eyes were cold, her lips tight together. Charlie drew away a bit, all he could see was her mother. He swallowed hard. She was still a Novak and if he knew anything it was that Novaks never made apologies easy.

"I know this is hard for you to understand, me coming back out of the blue. I know I haven't been around for you, but I've come to change that," he reached for her hand, but she yanked it back. Her eyes were on fire with unresolved rage and resentment. Many different emotions played across her face, but not one of them was joy. He shuttered, despite himself. "I know you're angry with me and I don't blame you. I don't expect you to forgive me right away, but I want you to know I'm here for you. I want you to be apart of my family."

"I hate you!" her words seeped out like venom through her clenched teeth. Charlie drew back as though he'd been burned. "I hate you and I hate your little stupid new family! Leave me alone! All of you just leave me alone!"

"I...uh...should I call my parents?" Jason said. He looked like a deer in headlights.

"Why don't you go in there and cheer Robin up," Yiayia ushered the boy into the house. "I made some cookies for you all. They're on the kitchen counter. Take Taylor and Chuckie inside and you kids helps yourselves."

"Okay," he nodded uneasily.

"Well that didn't go the way I expected," Charlie said after the front door slammed behind the children. He slumped his shoulders. "It's not like expected her to run to me with open arms, but that...well..."

"Not all of that was about you," Yiayia reassured. "Casey's in the hospital and Robin isn't doing too well with the situation. She's seen and heard some things that she shouldn't have and right now she feels like her life is unraveling."

"Casey's in the hospital? Is she sick?"

"She was attacked at work," Pappou answered. "The brother of one of her clients did a number on her. She's covered in bruises. She's got several broken ribs."

"Oh my God. Robin...Robin saw her like that?"

"Not one of our best calls," Pappou sighed.

"You...you...took her to see her mother? Why? She's just a little girl, Dad! She can't handle seeing her mother that way."

"You sound just like her mother," Yiayia snorted. "However now that you're back, things just got a little bit easier."

Charlie folded his arms. "What do you have up your sleeve this time, Mother?"

"Casey's life is too dangerous for your daughter to be apart of. It's good to hear that you want Robin to be apart of your new family because you're going to petition for sole custody."

"It'll be a cold day in Hell before I let you talk me into separating Robin from Casey!"

* * *

"I brought you some cookies," Jason poked his head through her bedroom door and held the plate out in front of him.

Robin mumbled something which he took to mean he could come in. She was lying on the queen size bed, arms crossed over her chest, staring at the ceiling. "I don't want any," she said, without even bothering to take a look at the plate.

"They're really good," he took a bite for good measure. "Your brother and sister like them."

"They're not my brother and sister," came the response.

"Do you wanna talk about your Dad?"

She sat up abruptly and knocked the plate out of his hand. Jason just stared at the broken green pieces and crumbs, not giving any indication of leaving. Robin slammed her fist on the mattress. "Leave me alone! I wish you all would just go away!"

"I don't want to," he said gently, touching her shoulder.

She yanked it away. "Get away from me!"

"You don't get away from me when I'm feeling bad and I'm not gonna leave you."

The sobs came then, waves of them. He held her while she cried and cried, stroking her hair like he saw his moms do when they held each other at a time like this.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, drying her eyes with her sleeve.

"It's okay. You're supposed to cry when you're sad."

"How come he didn't want me?" she stared straight ahead at the picture on the wall. She was two and Charlie was pushing her at the playground. He looked lost and happy and sad. It was the only picture she seen of the two of them. "How come they didn't want me? I was just a mistake they made when he was sick and when he got better, he made the perfect family and forgot all about me. How come nobody wanted me?"

* * *

"You're talking about taking Robin away from the only parent she's ever known and thrusting her into the hands of a stranger, Mother," Charlie removed the steaming cup of tea from his mother's hands. Krista and the kids were out in the yard playing catch, giving the Katsaros' plenty of time to play catchup. "I love my daughter and I want nothing more than to be a father to her, but she's not ready yet. I won't let you force her into a situation that could be detrimental to her well being because you have a problem with Casey's job."

"You are not detrimental to Robin's well being anymore," Yiayia said. "You said so yourself, you haven't had a psychotic break in over four years. You have a wife that's devoted to you and your children and she seems eager to welcome Robin into her nest. If anything, you're exactly what that little girl needs."

"That's all well and good, but Robin's not going to give a damn about all of that. All she'll think is I've come back to steal her from her mother. As much as it hurts me, Robin doesn't know me from Adam. We have to build a trusting relationship in order for her to let me take her to the park, let alone into my home."

"You could file for joint custody," Pappou suggested. "We're not saying Casey's a bad mother..."

"Speak for yourself George."

"_I_ am not saying that Casey is a bad mother, quite the contrary. Casey loves her dearly and vice versa. Casey would move Heaven and Earth for her, but she doesn't have the time to commit to her. With you in the picture, Robin wouldn't have to live her life based on this or that, but in terms of both and."

Charlie was quiet, still, reflective. "I'm going to visit her," he said after awhile.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Pappou asked. "Her mother's in town."

"This is about Robin and if Casey is the mother you say she is, no time is like the present when it comes to our daughter."

* * *

She was beautiful in her sleep. Her hair, now blonde, circled her classic, stern face. He closed his eyes at the sight of her bruises. Regrets rushed at him as he debated waking her. He should've gotten help when asked--no--when she begged. He should've been there for Robin. He should've been there to protect her. No, he should've stayed where he was. He swallowed and entered the room anyway. After all, this was about Robin.

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I could stand on my own two feet again_

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I could call you_

"Casey?"

She didn't know him at first. He could tell because she smiled a little. However when she opened her eyes, he wished she hadn't. The way she looked at him was half surprised, half as if he were something disgusting she found on the sole of her shoe.

"Hi Novocain."

Her face softened at the nickname. "When...when did you...?"

"Not too long ago actually. May I?" he gestured towards a chair. Only when she nodded did he pull it up to her bedside. "Mom and Dad told me you were here. I wanted to see you."

"I may be doped up, but I'm not stupid Charlie."

"You're many things, stupid isn't one of them. I did want to see you. I missed you these last few years."

"I'm in too much pain to wax sentimental with you. What do you want?"

"I...I saw our little girl. She's beautiful, she looks just like you."

Casey smiled. "She's the best thing that ever happened to me," her face dimmed. "Even if she doesn't understand it right now."

"Wanna talk about it?"

She looked at him like a general inspecting a soldier on parade and not at all

pleased with what she saw. "Not with you," she shifted a bit, pushing some hair from her face. "So this is about Robin."

"Yes. I understand what you're going through, not knowing if Robin understands how much she means to you. She looked right through me today, like she didn't want to know me. It broke my heart, you know? Shattered it. I don't want that between us. I want to be there for her, like I should've been."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Lucky handed his mother the flowers he was holding and stormed over to Charlie. "If you had any sense, you'd hightail it out of here before I do something I regret."

"Lukas, nice to see you. Mrs. Novak," he nodded at them, unfazed by the tension in the room.

"Charles," Lillian said calmly, looking between her daughter and her granddaughter's father. "Whatever you have to say, I'm sure it can wait."

"Actually it can't. Casey and I are having a private conversation and the two of you were just leaving."

"Over your dead body," Lucky started for him again, but Lillian stood in the way.

"Look, I'm not about to let you, anyone, or anything else stand in way of Robin and I. And if _you_ had any sense, you won't test me. I'm not a problem you want to solve.

* * *

A/N: Lyrics in this chapter are from the Staind song "It's Been A While." I don't own the rights to those lyrics. I'm just having some fun with them.

Next up: Charlie faces the Novak welcoming committee.


	7. Common Ground

_A/N: Thank you all so much for the feedback! I love it!_

_**futureforensic:**__ Dude, I love the quotes in your profile. Funny stuff. Thank you for re-reading the previous chapters. Thanks for trying and if you find anything else that's confusing, feel free to bust them out. As for Carly, no you're not crazy. I did name her after your Carly because I love your character, but this Carly is Charlie's older sister Caroline "Carly" Katsaros. She was also named for and inspired by one of the General Hospital characters I love. _

_**Little People:**__ Thanks for the pointing out those words. I think I need to invest in a beta. My older sister offered to take on the job from time to time, so I think I'll take her up on the offer._

_**CocaCola1052**__: You haven't seen the last of Mrs. Katsaros. Bwah haha!_

_To all you other kind reviewers: thank you and I'm glad you all are enjoying it!_

_So, up goes the curtain._

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Common Ground**

"Let's end the pissing contest, shall we?" Lillian rolled her eyes. "Lukas give your sister her flowers. I'm sure she's dying to smell something that doesn't make her stomach churn. Charles, now is not the time to flex your paternal muscles. Go, please, before things get too hot for everyone to handle."

"You all don't get to dictate when I visit the mother of my daughter," Charlie folded his arms. "Casey and I need to talk about this and I think sooner is better than later."

"Are you blind?" Lucky waved his arms about the room and shouted. "She's in the hospital! I don't know, try tapping into some of that compassion you seem to have for her and wait until she's recovered."

"I find this too convenient," Lillian glanced at Charlie suspiciously. "As soon as your mother gets her toga in a bunch and decides to throw around some threats, you decide to show up and shine your father of the year trophy."

"My mother isn't a threat."

"But you are."

"I would never do anything to harm my daughter."

"Oh really? Almost shaking her to death doesn't register as something to you?" Lucky sneered.

"I wasn't aware that I was on trial, but you and I both know I wasn't myself."

"Oh you were yourself and you still are. I don't care how many pills you swallow or how many secrets you divulge to a shrink, you're not fit to be around my niece. Not after all the crap you pulled!"

"Take a walk, Lucky," Casey said finally. She rubbed her temples with the tips of her fingers. That last thing she needed was a headache.

He hesitated, staring at her in disbelief. "Excuse me?"

"Look, I get why you all don't trust Charlie and quite frankly I don't trust him too much myself, but he's obviously done a lot of work on himself. The fact that he's willing to be apart of Robin's life says something. He's still Robin's father rather we like it or not and for that reason alone, I think I should hear him out."

"You need a lower dose of meds Kornelia. Can't you see this guy's working you? That song and dance about loving his daughter and doing anything to hold on to her is as fake as a two dollar bill."

"I seldom agree with Lucky when his testosterone levels are off the charts, but he does have a point. If it looks like and smells like bullshit, then that's what it is. I'm sorry for my lack of faith in you Charlie, but this has your abrasive shrew of a mother written all over it."

"I know I haven't done much to earn your trust Mrs. Novak, but I really have come along way in the last seven years. If you don't want to take time to see that, that's all right. It's to be expected I guess. Robin? She's a different story. I'm her father and I'm a part of her. I just want her to know the new me, not the shell I once was."

"How poetic," Lucky rolled his eyes. "Why are you letting him hook you? It's obvious that he's after something else--the same something else that stuck him in your life in the first place."

"Get over yourself, will you?" Casey groaned into her pillow. "He's a married man."

"One monkey doesn't stop a show."

"All righty then," Lillian lifted her youngest son out of his chair by his arm. "I think somebody could use a meal. We're going to the cafeteria and when we get back, you'd better be gone."

"I didn't expect you to stick up for me," Charlie admitted when the door shut.

"I didn't expect to stick up for you either, but lucky for the both of us you had a valid point and I felt a migraine coming on. Anyway, how long have you been married?"

"Four years. My wife and I have a son together and I adopted her daughter."

"Congratulations," she clapped her hands together. She flashed him a sarcastic smile and immediately let it drop from her face. "The frog turned into a prince and you got your little fairy-tale. Too bad my kid was left twisting in the wind long enough to miss the The Seven Dwarfs sing at your wedding."

"Don't be like this, all right? I know what it looks like, but I wasn't ready to acknowledge this part of my life---the part I screwed up."

"I never blamed you for having Schizophrenia, Charlie. I blamed you for refusing treatment."

"That's exactly why I stayed away. I never wanted to see you look at me the way you are now. I never meant to hurt you or make any of this your fault. I had my anger issues around our relationship too. I felt that you could've pushed me harder, but you didn't want to because you didn't want your baby to have a schizophrenic for a father. Krista, my wife, helped me see that Schizophrenia isn't fatal and that if I wanted to get life back, I was going to have to take an active role."

"Smart woman. I just want you to know that I left because I didn't think Robin would be safe with you. If was hard enough when it was just me, but a baby..."

"She'd be safe with me now."

"You talk a good game Chuckles, but then again you were supposed to be a lawyer. My legs are dangling on your side of the fence, but I don't want Robin to break my fall."

"I know I haven't given you a lot to work with, but give me a chance."

"Tell me about your wife."

"Where the hell did that come from?"

"I want to know the woman that's going to be supervising your visits with Robin."

"Supervising? I've been a father for almost four years Casey! I won't do anything..."

"I don't know that and I don't know you. At the moment, I don't care to, but at some point Robin will. I'm meeting you half way, okay?"

Sighing, he ran his fingers through his dirty chestnut brown hair. "You remember my sister Carly right?"

"Good 'ol Caroline," Casey smiled. "She and I took Robin and Mickey sightseeing the last time she was here. She's great fun, not to mention a hell of a shopper. That woman can find a deal blindfolded. I think she's the only member of your family that I can stomach, expect Robin."

"Wow, how warm and fuzzy of you."

"Don't worry, Chuckles, you're growing on me."

"Anyway," he laughed. "A few weeks after I saw you and Robin in the playground, the same playground I was sleeping in, I worked up enough courage to call Carly. I didn't have anybody else. Mom, you know how she is, if she ignores it then it'll go away. Dad, well he'll just let Mom nag him until he caves in. Connie made it clear that he was married to a woman from a good family and he wasn't about to let me screw that up. Then there was you, but you had Robin. So that left my big sister. A day later she came to here with a plane ticket and a dream."

"You were in California with your sister the entire time? Funny how she forgot to mention that during any of her visits."

"I asked her not to. Everything was run together; so many things were happening at once, I thought my head was going to explode. Nothing made sense, not even loving you and wanting to be with my family. It was like a game of tug-o-war."

"How did Carly do what I couldn't?" she looked up at him. The guilt was still alive and well inside of her. The fact that somebody with the same obstacles could manage to do for him what she couldn't didn't seem to assuage her feelings.

"She didn't. One of Carly's friends knew all too well about what we were going through. She'd been raised by a schizophrenic father. She knew how to handle the delusions and how to talk me through them and how to coax my meds down my throat. Carly wasn't too thrilled about an outsider knowing all of her business, but she could use the help and she could see that I was improving. Her friend managed to talk me into checking into the institution where her friend was a nurse. Two years later I was released and Carly's friend became my wife."

Casey was surprised at her feelings of regret around his marriage. She expected—what did she expect? She shook her head; at least somebody could be the stand for him that she tried to be. She stared at her hands for a moment before slowly bringing her eyes up. She licked her lips. "I'm happy for you. I'm proud of you."

He placed his hand over hers and smiled. "It means a lot to hear you say that."

She withdrew her hand and placed it her lap. "How's Robin doing?"

"Angry and confused. She won't even talk to me, she won't talk to anybody. The combination of you being in the hospital and me showing up out of the blue with a brand new family can't be something that's easy for her to take in, especially without you to guide her through it."

"I hate the idea that she's out there dealing with all of this alone. Robin is stoic. It's much easier for her to be mad and than sad. You really have to push her if you want her to let anything else out. When Daddy died my entire family fell apart. Robin and Daddy had a special bond. They did everything together when she'd go visit him. They fished, they hunted, they camped, and they would talk about anything under the sun. Everybody did their crying the week leading up to the service. Some fell right into mourning, others held off until one trigger or another arose. Nobody made it through the service except Robin. She just sat there the entire time, watching his casket. While we were loading up the limos we noticed that she was gone. I found her behind the church, leaned up against the wall, crying her little eyes out."

"How'd you get her to talk it out?"

"Common ground. If she knows that you really understand, she'll let you in. She's not stupid and her tolerance for bullshit is much lower than mine."

* * *

"Taylor, Chuckie, and I are staring a game of tag in the yard and we'd love for you to join us."

Robin looked up from her book and said nothing. The last thing she wanted was to be surrounded by this picture perfect little woman and her proper little brats. She could imagine Krista sipping tea, listening to the kids quote articles from the newspaper in that opera like voice snotty rich people were always working to perfect. Robin smiled then.

"Is that a smile?" Krista clapped her hands and jumped up and down as if the girl had told her she was the winner of Publisher's Clearing House. "Houston, we have a smile."

Robin rolled her eyes and continued to read.

"What are you reading?" to Robin's dismay Krista crossed the threshold and joined her on the bed. "I didn't know you liked genetics."

"If my Dad didn't know what my first word was, how would he know to tell you what I liked to read?"

"Touché," she smiled and gave a little nod. "It bothers you that your father came for you, doesn't it?"

Robin frowned and tossed her book on her bed so hard that it flipped into the air. "No, it bothers me that you came with him. It bothers me that he loves you and your kids more than he loves me. It bothers me to hear you talk and it bothers me that you came in my room without knocking."

Krista tilted her head. The expression on her face was soft like the cashmere sweater tied around her shoulders. Robin resisted the urge to smack her. "Your father loves you more than I could begin to tell you. All the work he's done on himself, the life he's built, has all been for you Robin. All he could never talk about was you. It was like I knew you before I even met you. He's wanted nothing more than to be your father and now that he's back, you ought to give him a chance."

"If he was better long enough to be a daddy to your kids then how come he wasn't better enough to be one to me?"

"He wanted everything to be perfect for you."

"The only perfect person is God and if he thinks he's God, then he isn't as better as you guys think."

"You're a smart Cookie, Robin. You think fast on your feet. What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"I want to study genetics."

"Isn't science about trying on things to find out an outcome? I'm little rusty when it comes to scientific method, but your biases should never overshadow your work."

For a blonde in a pink dress and a soft sweater, this woman wasn't as stupid as Robin thought. "So you're saying that what I think happened is getting in the way of what could happen?"

"And she solved the puzzle," Krista gave Robin a nudge. "So what do you say? Are you game for some tag?"

"Okay, but I'm still not ready to forgive Charlie."

"And I'm not going to force you to. Sooner or later though, you and you're Daddy are going to have to talk this out. The longer you hide something, the harder it is to find."

* * *

Taylor Bowen-Katsaros was the girl in her family. She had her Daddy wrapped around her little finger and everyone knew it. If she wanted anything Daddy knew it was his duty to get off the dime and get it. If she was feeling sad or lonely or angry, Daddy always knew what to say to make her smile again.

Charlie Katsaros wasn't her biological father as her mother put it. The man who was turned into a different person depending on which way the wind blew. Her mother was only seventeen when she born and although she graduated high school early and was offered a scholarship to nursing school, Krista Bowen couldn't raise a baby all alone. So she put up with the cruel words and the beatings so Taylor could have a good life.

Taylor couldn't remember her biological father being mean to her, but that's only because she couldn't remember him period. Sure, she remembered some things. She could picture his face, but she couldn't hear is voice or see him smile. Her Mom always said it was better that way.

At first her Mom kept her away from Daddy because he was sick. Her grandfather had the same sickness and he lived in a home that they had to drive two hours to get to. It smelled like bleach and her grandfather was always stiff and slow. She didn't want somebody like that living in her house; much less being her new Daddy.

Charlie had been a pleasant surprise. Sure, he took lots of medicine, but they didn't make him act sleepy. He took her to fairs and to the zoo and to amusement parks. They went horseback riding and had picnics the park. They went to Disneyland and he rode all of the rides with her. Even after her brother was born, she and her Daddy still had their special bond.

She'd known about Robin since she was five, when she first met Charlie. He showed her a picture of a little girl in a dirty baseball uniform with black paint under her eyes. She was missing her two front teeth and her curly hair couldn't decide where it wanted to stay. They were only a year apart, but Taylor couldn't imagine having anything in common with the toothless, funny looking tomboy in the picture. She couldn't imagine letting that girl take her place.

So when she saw her mother leading Robin into the yard, Taylor knew that neither of them wanted Taylor to play the big sister.

"Your sister wants to play tag with you," her mother said cheerfully.

Chuckie, being the social two-year-old that he was, immediately grabbed Robin's hand and lead her over to Taylor. "Sister wants to play."

"She's not our sister," Taylor snapped, ripping her brother's hand out of Robin's.

"Taylor," Krista gasped. "Where are your manners?"

Robin narrowed her eyes. "It's okay Mrs. Katsaros," she shrugged and smiled at Chuckie. "It doesn't bother me that she and I aren't sisters. I always wanted a little brother anyway."

Chuckie let out a giggle at the thought of being wanted. Taylor wasn't a star in the sister department.

"He's not your brother, Mom isn't your mom, and Daddy is your daddy! Nobody wants you in this family! The only reason why we're here is because Daddy felt sorry for you because he wasn't here when you a baby."

Robin shrugged again, although she didn't feel as indifferent as she looked. "I don't care about that either. Charlie isn't my father anyway."

"I am your father Robin and I love you."

Robin turned around to find Charlie coming down the back steps and into the yard. He reached for Robin's shoulder, but she shrugged away.

"Daddy," Taylor squealed and wrapped her arms around him. "When are we going back to California?"

"I want you to apologize to your sister for the horrible things that you said."

"When pigs play," Taylor declared. "I didn't lie. She's not my sister."

"One more time, okay? I. Do. Not. Care."

"Robin, listen to me. I do want you in my life. I'm here not because I feel sorry for you, but because I love and miss you. I'm your father…"

"Go back to California with your perfect family and leave me out of it."

"Robin…"

"You're not my Daddy and you never will be. You picked being crazy over being with me and now you have to live with it."

* * *

Next Time: Casey comes home on Mother's Day. Robin and Charlie talk. Lucky comes to take Robin back to her mother. 


	8. Control

_A/N: Hey folks! It's that time again. I was going to update on Monday, but since that's my birthday (yes, I inserted some b-day pimping) I decided to update today. This chapter is really long, sorry about that. Before I knew it, the story started to take over and boom--fifteen pages._

_Thanks for the reviews people! Yes, Taylor is a charming little tyke, isn't she? CocaCola1052, why do I feel like I'm channeling your life:-)_

_This is a huge bonding chapter by the way. Charlie/Robin, Robin/Taylor, Charlie/Lucky, lotta love folks._

_Also thanks to the people you have the story on their alert list. I'm you all are enjoying this!_

_So, let's bring the puppy on!_

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Control**

"How does it feel to be home?" James Novak asked his little sister as he guided her into apartment. "I bet it's nice not having to smell bedpans and death day in and day out."

It felt great to be home. She stood in the middle of the living room of her tiny apartment, simply looking at the orange walls and the eclectic furnishings. She relished the idea of being able to take a long bubble bath. She couldn't wait to have a glass of wine and a huge bowl of buttery popcorn and to curl up with her digital cable remote. Oh, the possibilities.

"Ah, you get used to those smells Jimmy. They're just the everyday odors of the Big Apple."

"More like the Big Armpit," JR, the eldest of her brother Clayton's two sons, huffed from the couch. "It's like these New Yorkers don't embrace the concept of hygiene. They hawk, spit, fart, and eat all in the same breath. Every time you turn around you smell pee. They pack you guys together like sardines. It's a wonder why you all haven't died to Typhus."

"Gee, glad you're enjoying yourself," Casey rolled her eyes at the fifteen-year-old. "Aside from the not so charming aspects of the city, how do you like it here?"

He shrugged. "Not bad I guess, though I'm sure this place is much better at night. If certain people would let me go out, I might be able to have a good time to speak of."

"We took you sight seeing," Lucky riffled the boy's brown hair.

"Uh, seeing the Statue of Liberty through binoculars on a cold boat, doesn't rate high on my memorable experience list."

"This city eats kids your age for breakfast," Clayton took a swig of his beer and nodded towards his sister. "Ask your Aunt Casey about her line of work, betcha that'll make you wanna stay inside."

JR remained silent. He knew all to well who his aunt prosecuted.

"Anyway, Mama and Cheryl Anne cleaned this place up and stocked the fridge," Deacon grinned at his mother and sister-in-law, who were preparing dinner in Casey's crevice of a kitchen.

"Services you desperately needed I might add," Lillian hollered. "And what on Earth possessed you to move into a place with purple walls?"

"I like purple, Mother," Casey groaned.

"I can see that! I'm just trying to figure out how you get anything done with the walls screaming at you. It's too small in here! I don't understand how you and Robin don't trip over each other. Why you left the crisp southern air and the spaciousness of southern comfort for this tin can, I'll never know."

"Well, since you're getting that hefty retirement check, maybe you can ante up some money for a down payment on a house."

"Don't get smart with me."

"I was born smart, I'm just getting here."

"Isn't Junior a little bit young for Playstation, Kornelia?" Lucky grinned at her over the rim of his Coke.

"Aren't you a little bit old for it, Lukas?"

"Hey, don't knock my inner child. It's why I'm the favorite Uncle and you people get stuck with handmade mugs during Christmas."

"You are so materialistic," Wesley, the middle brother, rolled his eyes. He hadn't said much the entire time they'd been there. He was at the far end of the couch, whispering sweet nothings into his girlfriend's ear. "Mama raised us to be believe it's the thought that counts."

"And Mama raised us well, but everybody knows certain thoughts count more than others."

Casey didn't have the heart to tell her family that she didn't want a party. She would never call herself vain, but having everyone see her looking like a glorified punching bag didn't strike her as a way to start the healing process. Being the only girl and the youngest, her brothers swarmed around her in a crises. From her first break up to her rocky relationship with Charlie and back to Robin's birth, she couldn't remember when they didn't rush to her rescue. She loved that safety net; it got her through so many things. However, sometimes there was just too much family togetherness.

"Where's Robin?" Travis, JR's little brother, asked.

"With her dad."

A silence fell over the room and one by one, every Novak eye set its sights on Casey. Leave it to Travis to hang up the Charles Katsaros piñata and pass out Louisville Sluggers. Casey sighed and slumped in her favorite armchair. Maybe going back to hospital wasn't such a bad idea.

"What possessed you to leave her alone with him?" Deacon was up off the couch in a heartbeat. He pulled his coat off the rack. "I'm goin' to get her."

"Me too," Lucky passed the Playstation controller to Travis and went for his coat too. "You never know when that guy'll snap."

"Having an ex-Marine on the bandwagon couldn't hurt either," Jimmy took one final swig of his beer before slamming the bottle down on the table. "You coming Wesley?"

He exchanged looks with his girlfriend and shook his head. "Nah, you guys can play round-em-up by yourselves."

"I'll take his place," JR grinned up at his uncles. "Get you coat Dad!"

"You have got to be kidding me," Casey groaned, looking back and forth between her brothers. "The last thing anybody needs is the Good 'Ol Boys riding off into the night. I'm giving Charlie the chance he earned. So if anybody wants to keep him from seeing Robin--you'll have to go through me."

"Does she have to be there on Mother's Day?" Travis asked, poking his bottom lip out. "She should be spending the day with you."

"Kiddo, Robin's not too happy with me right now. I don't think she's ready to spend time with me."

"Nobody stays mad forever unless you let them."

"I could talk to her," Lucky offered. "She always listens to me."

"Yeah, right," Casey scoffed. "I could just see that turning into a fist fight with her father."

Lucky shrugged. "Shit happens."

"Please let Uncle Lucky talk to her, Aunt Casey. This party doesn't make sense if she's not here to celebrate too."

Casey was always a sucker for pouty lips and chipmunk cheeks. "All right, but leave the dog and pony show."

* * *

Charlie found Robin at the park up the street, curled up on a bench, staring straight ahead at the crowded playground. She had her arms tightly around her body, trying to be her own blanket. Her jet-black curls shone faintly auburn in the sunlight, traces of her mother. She looked so hurt and so alone that all he wanted to do was reach out and take her into his arms. He knew she wouldn't let him. She was too prideful to let him know that she was hurting, she was too much like her mother. 

She must have sensed him watching her because she whirled around and caught his eye. He saw the hostility. He saw the challenge. He watched her decide if she wanted him to stay or go. She was just as confused as he was.

"What do you want, Charlie?" Her voice was harsh, guttural, not all like one that belonged to a little girl. She closed the book in her hand and glared at her father.

"May I?" he waved his hands at the bench. Shrugging, Robin made room before scooting to the far end of the bench, far away from him. "How'd you get here?"

"I walked."

"Don't do that again, okay? We were looking all over for you."

She gave him a once over and huffed. "You were gone my whole life, fifteen minutes wouldn't have been that bad."

"These last seven years for some of the hardest of my life. It may not seem like it, but I missed being a father to you. I hate that I missed so much. Your first word, your first step, your first day of school, all of those things I should've seen."

"So you replaced me with Taylor?" It was more of an accusation than a question.

"Nobody could ever replace you. I love Taylor and I'm very happy that she came into my life when she did. But just because I love being a father to her and Chuckie, does not take away from the fact that I would love being one to you."

"Taylor was right. You feel bad because you weren't here when I was a baby. You feel bad because you left Mommy all by herself with a baby you guys didn't want. I'm seven, not stupid. I know once you feel better, you'll take your family and leave me all over again."

"Where'd you get that idea, that Casey didn't want you?"

She swallowed and looked away. "I heard Yiayia and her arguing in the hospital and I heard her say Yiayia made her keep a 'baby she didn't want'. How come you guys don't want me?"

"Oh, no, Robin," He instinctively pulled her close when she started to cry, tucking her head beneath his chin, running gentle hands over her head. "Your mother and I love you so much. You're the best thing that ever happened to both of us. You may have been unexpected, but you were never, ever, unwanted or unloved."

"But I heard..."

"What you heard was your mother talking about somebody she didn't know yet. When she found out about you she was young and scared. The man that she loved was very sick and he wouldn't let her help him. She was almost finished with school and she didn't know if she had the time or the resources to give you a good life. Even though she had lots and lots of family and friends to lean on, she felt that none of them understood how she felt or what she was going through. Even before she knew you, your mother loved you enough to put you first."

"What about you? Yiayia said you tried to hurt me when I was a baby."

Charlie took a deep breath and made a note to have a little chat with his mother. She was writing more checks than his ass could cash. "When you were a baby I was more confused than ever. I thought a group of people were out to hurt me and I believed that those people were using you to get to me. I thought they put microphones inside of you, so I tried shaking them out of you. I want you to know though, I would never hurt you now. Special doctors are giving me special medication to make sure that I don't have those thoughts anymore."

"So Mommy does love me?"

"More than live it self," he kissed the top of her head.

"And you're not going to leave me again?"

"That's the plan."

"And now that you have me back you're going to send Taylor away?"

"Robin..."

"I was just kidding," she giggled. It was the first time he heard her laugh.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"A reliable source told me that a certain somebody loves playing catch in the park."

A bright smile graced her face. "Really? Who told you that?"

"If I told you that, I'd have to kill her," he winked. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled up a bright white baseball. "What do you say you and I have our first father daughter game of catch?"

"I'd like that."

"I figured you would," he tugged at her hand and pulled her off of the bench.

"I'm happy that you came home, even if you did bring Taylor."

He tilted his head and flashed a soft smile. "I am too."

* * *

Lucky and Travis were waiting on the porch when Charlie and Robin returned for a long overdue game of catch. He didn't expect the conversation to go as well as it did, but it was nice to see her smile at him. It was even nicer when she allowed him to carry her home on his shoulders. For once, he really felt like her father. 

"What are you guys doing here?" Robin asked after Charlie sat her down in the ground. "Is Mommy okay?"

"Mommy's fine Junior," Lucky ruffled her hair. "In fact, she's the reason why I'm here. We brought her back home today and she wants to see you."

Robin grinned. "Really? She's back to normal now?"

"Your mother was never normal, but she's doing a lot better."

Robin rolled her eyes and dealt him a playful shove. "I mean is she back to the way she was before she got hurt, silly."

"She's getting a lot stronger. She has to wear bandages on her ribs and she has to walk with a cane, but she's come a long way. We're all giving her a party at your house and I know she'd be the happiest cripple on the planet if you came back home."

"You're not still mad at her, are you?" Travis asked. Robin loved her cousin, but she hated when he talked. Most of his words got lot in his deep southern accent, but it didn't helped that he mumbled most of the time either. "If you're gonna be mad, be mad tomorrow. Today's Mother's Day.

Robin shook her head. "No, I'm not mad. Charlie helped me understand everything. She and I were both different people when she thought what she thought. There's no point in being mad at somebody for something they used to think, especially if they didn't think it they way you thought they did."

Travis arched his brow. "What?"

"Forget it," she waved away the conversation. "Did you say it was Mother's Day?"

He nodded. "That's why you should be at home."

"How come you didn't tell me what day it was, Charlie?"

"Chuckie and Taylor need to get some things and I was going to ask you to join us, but you took off before I could say anything."

"I have to get her something! It'll really hurt her feelings if I come home without a present. Uncle Lucky, will you take me?"

"Why don't you guys come with us?" Charlie offered before Lucky could open his mouth to say anything. "Afterwards all of us can stop over and say hey to Casey."

"Over my dead body," Taylor declared after slamming the front door. She charged down the stairs at warp speed, proving Robin's theory that hot air could replace gas any day. She made a point of glaring at all three Novaks before crashing into her father's arms. "Daddy, you promised you'd save today for your kids."

"I'm not breaking that promise. I am spending today with my kids," he smiled into Robin's eyes. "All of them."

"She said herself that she's not your daughter. You don't have to beg her to be in a family that doesn't want her in it in the first place."

"Wait just a second..." Lucky started, but Robin cut him off.

"It's okay Uncle Lucky. Maybe she'll cry herself to death and save you all the trouble."

Robin had to give credit where credit was due, for a girly girl Taylor could deal a mean slap. Of course, being the polite child that she was, she sent her flying onto the ground with a right hook as a token of her appreciation.

Taylor looked up at her. Her nose was bleeding like red fireworks. She looked shocked and insulted, like she was the one who'd been wronged. She looked sad and unwanted. For the first time Robin saw Taylor that was a real person. She could see her fear of being replaced, of living without a father all over again. She could see a scared little kid that didn't want to be yesterday's model. Robin saw herself.

She could hear Lucky and Charlie arguing about teaching Taylor some manners. She could see Yiayia and Krista practically carry Taylor back into the house, acting as though that little punch had given her brain damage. She felt Travis' hands slapping her on the back, asking her where she learned throw that kind of a punch. However, Robin knew that when she was older she would forget all of that stuff. All she would remember was the way Taylor looked at her when she walked past her. It wasn't hate and it sure wasn't love. It was respect.

Having Taylor's respect felt good for some odd reason. On the way to the mall she wondered if this is what it's like to be somebody's little sister.

* * *

"Your kids are so adorable," the saleswomen at Bloomingdales gushed as she rung up the fancy tie Robin picked out for her mother. 

When Casey was a rebellious Catholic school attending teenager, she would spice up her uniform by wearing different types of ties. She had fancy ones made out of cotton from Egypt. She had cheap ones that little kids bought their fathers with the money they saved from mowing lawns and baby-sitting. She had navy blue ones and lime green ones. She had orange one's with skulls and pumpkins. She had strips and stars and color-filled circles. She had cartoon characters and the stiff ones rich businessmen wore. She still her collection too. Sometimes the two of them would tie them around their heads and play fort in the middle of the living room.

When Robin asked her why she bought the ties, she told her it gave her some control of something that she normally had no say in. She said she hated the idea of somebody having the power of deciding how she felt, what she saw, how she looked. Robin remembered how out of control her mother was when she visited her in the hospital. She remembered how afraid she was and how afraid the man who'd hurt her was making her feel. She figured the man was controlling the way her mother felt about herself and the world. She hoped the tie would remind her mother that she did have a say, a very big one at that.

"Would you like this gift wrapped, Honey?" the woman asked in that voice adults put on when they wanted to spark up a cheek pinching session.

"Yes please," Robin tried not to smile, smiling always gave them more incentive.

"What a little doll," she practically squealed. She grinned adoringly between Lucky and Charlie as though she shared their pride in Robin's good manners. "My brother's gay too. He and his partner adopted a little girl a few months ago."

"Uh, we're not..." Lucky sputtered out, waving his hands between Charlie and himself. He looked like he was going to pee on himself or die. However, neither scenario would've kept Robin and Travis from laughing. "Uh...we're not..."

"Oh, Lucky's a private person," Charlie wrapped his arm around him, pressing his cheek to the other man's for good measure. "He comes from the south and you know how they are about homosexuality."

"Of course," the woman nodded. "My brother was fortunate enough to grow up in an accepting environment. Anyway, did you all adopt or...?"

"Oh, no," Charlie waved off the thought of adoption. "Lucky's sister was a surrogate."

"Oh no wonder they look so much like you," the woman smiled at Lucky. "They're beautiful children."

"Uh-huh," was all Lucky could manage.

"What are your names?" she turned her sugary sweet grin on the two laughing children.

"I'm Robin."

"I'm Travis."

"Well I don't want to hold you all up," she placed the perfectly wrapped box in a brown bag before handing it to Robin. "You all enjoy the day. It's nice out."

"Yeah, uh, thanks," Lucky nodded and practically threw his niece and nephew out of the store.

A laughing Charlie joined them a few seconds later. Travis and Robin joined in the giggle fest and before long, even Lucky managed a few chuckles. Charlie wrapped his arm around the other man and slapped him on the shoulder.

"I'll say this for ya," Lucky shook his head and looked Charlie square in the eye. "You're not a dull one. By the way, I'm telling my sister you called her a surrogate."

* * *

"What's taking them so long?" Lillian wondered about her son and grandchildren as she sat the steaming bowl of garlic mashed potatoes on the Casey's excuse for a table. After some fussing about where everyone was going to sit, they settled on using the table was a buffet and just pigging out in the living room. "How far are the Katsaros' away from here?" 

"Twenty maybe thirty minutes," Casey shrugged. "Rush hour's starting so they might've gotten stuck on the bridge."

"Or maybe he and Charlie are beating the crap out of each other and you wanna know the worst part about it?" JR practically slammed the pot roast down. "I'm missing the entire thing."

"Wow, Little Clayton, way to talk Robin's Dad."

"Oh, come on, Aunt Casey! That guy flipped out and dumped a kid in your lap. Then when he decides to stuff a few pills down his throat, he wants to play daddy."

"Not a can of worms you wanna open up Nephew," Jimmy said, leading the teenager away by his shoulders. "Make yourself useful and help your mother finish getting the food together."

"My kid's right you know," Clayton said, helping himself to a baby carrot. "Robin's not some daughter doll Charlie can turn on and off when he wants to play proud papa. She has to be able to depend on him and she has to know that whatever happens, he's here for her. If she doesn't know that, you might as well keep Robin here with you and away from that loon."

Casey opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a knock on the front door. She looked sternly at Clayton, as if to let him know the conversation would be continued later. Adjusting her weight, she shuffled in the direction of the door, only to have her way blocked by her mother.

"Sit. I'll get it."

"Mom, I'm not an invalid."

"No, but you will be if you don't sit down and shut up. I know you and I know you'll just re-injure yourself trying to prove to everybody that you can take care of yourself. Save us all the trouble and take a load off."

"Mother..."

"Look, I don't have the time nor the energy to debate with you. Sit," Lillian half growled, half laughed."

Shaking her head, she lowered herself into a nearby chair. "Fine, but I'm still going to fold napkins."

"Now would be a great time for your father to be alive, that way he could deal with your annoying little Novak traits. That's gotta be Lucky and the kids. Where's my favorite little bird?" Lillian flung open the door.

"Chirp, chirp," Detective John Munch removed his hat and stepped forward with a slight bow. He smirked into Lillian's blue eyes, which were wide with embarrassment. John dipped his head and peered at her over his sunglasses. "I don't think I'm the bird you're looking for. However if the bird in question is a seven-year-old with curly hair and an arsenal of questions, she's on her way up."

"He gets like this when he skips lunch," Detective Fin Tutuola, Munch's partner, shoved the older man aside and offered Lillian his hand. "I'm Detective Fin Tutuola and this guy's my partner, Detective John Munch. We work with your daughter."

"Ahh," Lillian nodded. "Come in. Are you hungry? We're just getting dinner ready."

"We have to get back to the squad room soon, but thanks for the offer," Fin said, looking around for their ADA.

"Got room for more?" Detective Benson pushed through the open door with her partner Detective Elliot Stabler in tow.

"Gee, you guys brought the whole calvary," Casey grinned, pulling herself out of her chair. "I didn't expect you guys to come."

"You look great," Olivia embraced her friend.

"It's good to see you on your feet Novak," Elliot laid his hand on her shoulder. "It's not the same without you."

"Apparently your temp doesn't appreciate my charm."

"I don't appreciate your charm either, Munch "

"You wound me to the quick, woman," John stuck out his lower lip and pretended to pout, a look that didn't really suit him.

Casey laughed. "But I love you for it."

"And for this I brought you chocolate," He threw his hands up in mock dismay.

"Chocolate covered Cherries," she exclaimed, practically ripping the box out of his hands. She held the candy up to her face, its rich scent bringing back memories of her childhood. "My Dad used to bring me these when I was sick. No matter how busy or tired he was, he always made a point to get these for me."

He looked almost shy, insecure, then it was gone. He gave her a small smile. "I'm glad you like them."

He looked at her oddly, and she realized she was staring. She cleared her throat and forced her eyes back to his gift. "How'd you know?"

He shrugged, his confident grin slowly returning to his face. "Sometimes it pays to be a detective."

"A match made in Heaven. Too bad you can't eat chocolate," JR rolled his eyes and snatched the box out of his Aunt's hand. At her anger. he shrugged and pointed to his snickering grandmother. "Complements of the Granny in the Braves apron."

"Way to kill a mood, Mother," Casey murmured under her breath.

JR shook his head and gave John a sympathetic look. "You might as well move on old man. She's got five over protective brothers and a domineering mother. You'll be lucky if you can leave a message on her answering machine."

"JR, do us both a favor and find something to do before I screw us bother over by re-injuring myself trying to strangle you."

"Hey, hey. I'm just trying to help. However, dying isn't on my list of things to do today. Exiting, stage left."

"Sorry about that."

"Meh, don't be," John shrugged. "I ruined my little sister's life too."

"Sorry to breakup the Lovefest, but I've got some news you might wanna hear," Elliot interrupted. "It's about Nina. She doesn't want to testify."

"What the hell do you mean she doesn't want to testify?!"

"Her life's falling apart. I mean, look at the way her brother impacted your life. Trying adding being raped to the agony that keeps you from sleeping at night."

Sighing, Casey nodded. She ran her fingers through her hair. "Okay, okay, what can I do to get her over the hump?"

"Visit her. Cragen thought that seeing you..."

"You mean rub her nose in it," she interrupted angrily.

"No, I mean let her see that there is nothing that'll keep you from prosecuting her rapist and that you're still on her side."

She nodded again. "You're right..."

He glanced at her apologetically. "I'm sorry to have the throw in headfirst."

"I learned a long time ago that life doesn't stop for a train wreck, it just moves around it."

"Mommy!" Robin raced through the open front door and straight for her mother, but came to a screeching halt when she noticed the cane she was using to hold herself up. "You can't walk?"

"Robin!" Casey wrapped her arms around her daughter's shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "I'm glad you're here! And to answer your question, I just need a little help. I'm still healing so my doctor gave me this to keep me from overworking myself."

"The doctor most not know you very well because a cane won't keep you from over working yourself."

"God I missed you," Casey laughed. "Oh, Robin, this is..."

"I already know Elliot. Olivia used to him to keep me from sneaking into your room," she grinned sheepishly at the blue-eyed detective. "Sorry I didn't keep my promise, but you know..."

"No hard feelings here, kid. I would've soon the same thing," Elliot smiled at the girl before scanning the room for his colleagues. When he noticed them breaking away from their respective conversations, he nodded towards the door. "I guess we'd better be going. We were up to our eyeballs when we left."

"Thanks for stopping by."

"Anytime."

"Is that for me?" Casey pointed to the brown bag in her daughter's hand after she bid all four detectives farewell.

"Happy Mother's Day!"

She tore open the box, pulled aside the tissue-paper wrappings and pulled out a silk lime green tie. "Wow, Robin, it's so beautiful." She fingered the delicate garment in her hands. "I love it. Thanks so much!"

"Really?" her face lit up. "I got it 'cause I remembered the story you told me about the ties you used to get when you were in school. You said you got them 'cause you wanted to have a say in your life. I remembered how sad you felt in the hospital because of that man, so I got you this to make you remember that you still have a say, a really big one."

"This is the best thing anybody could've given me," she pulled the child into a tight hug and held on for dear life. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'm glad you liked it. Charlie helped me pick it out."

"He did? That was sweet of him. I take it you're not angry with him anymore."

"Kinda, but he talked to me and I think he understands. He helped me understand what you meant in the hospital the other day, too. He said that you didn't know if you were going to be a good Mom and that you didn't want me to have a bad life. He said you were a different person and that the old you doesn't have the same fear. He said I was unexpected, not unwanted."

"He's right. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn't be the same without you."

"I'm glad you're back from the hospital and I'm glad Charlie came back too. Now I know what it feels like to have a Dad. Anyways, I'm glad you liked your present. I'm gonna go say hi to everybody."

"People in hell must be wearing Parkas," Casey's mouth hung open at the sight of Lucky and Charlie swinging Travis across the threshold. "When did you start waving Charlie's banner, Lucky?"

"Ah, he's not as bad as he looks," Lucky sat Travis on the ground and dusted his hands off. "He really does have Junior's best interest at heart."

"Thanks for cheering up my kid," Casey gave him a grateful smile after Lucky and Travis went to join the rest of the Novaks, who despite trying to look busy, were watching them like hawks.

"Our kid."

"Huh?"

"Our kid."

"Oh, yeah," she shook her head. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I know it's hard, getting used to sharing her with me and all," at her look of consternation, he changed the subject. "Robin inherited her mother's right hook."

"What happened?"

"She and Taylor got into a little scuffle. Taylor doesn't like the idea of having a sister so she picks on Robin. This is really hard on her, you know? Her biological father was a real dick-head and she spent so much of her life paying for that. She thinks Robin's going to take her place."

"You all didn't explain any of this to her?"

"Or course we did, but seeing and hearing are two different things."

"I'm sure Robin feels the same way, that Taylor replaced her. Just like with you, if you can get the two of them to see that they have the same scare running, they might be able to forge a relationship."

"Thanks for the advice, Novocain."

"No problem, Chuckles."

I have to run. I promised Taylor and Chuckie that I would take them shopping for Mother's Day gifts."

"Thanks for coming."

Then, as if it was the most natural thing in all the world, he leaned in and kissed her cheek. "You're a great mother. Robin's lucky to have you." And, with that, he was gone.

Casey knew the kiss didn't mean anything. However, for some terrifying reason, she couldn't decide rather or not she was happy with that.

* * *

A/N: The Lucky/Charlie moment is dedicated my brother and his brother-in-law. They had a similar experience and I couldn't resist the urge to through the scene in here! Sorry if it offended anyone! 

Also, shout out to the Tyler Perry's Medea I borrowed "I was born smart, I'm just getting here," line from one of the movies.

Next Chapter: Robin, Jason, Brandon and Lulu meet up on the schoolyard. Casey goes back to work. Charlie and Casey argue.


	9. Jealous

_A/N: It's been a __long time since I updated this. Sowwie! I haven't had any time for anything fun. Anyhow, to compensate this chapter ended up being really long!  
_

_Of course, y'all know I love and I appreciate your reviews!_

_And on a random side note: guess who's going to be a great aunt!!_

_Yes…happy reading. :-)_

**Chapter Nine: Jealous**

"My Dad came to see me this weekend," Lulu said, taking a bite of her ham sandwich. After washing it down with a huge gulp of Pepsi, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "He didn't stay too long though because he had some business to take care of. Mom says he doesn't have a job so I don't know what kind."

"He doesn't come to see you that much, huh?" Robin asked. She glared at the Pepsi can in her friend's hand with envy, all the while hating her mother for forcing her to drink organic carrot juice.

"Seeing him is one of those rare things, like seeing a shooting star or catching a disease from a hamburger, depending on how you look at it. The last time I saw him he gave me twenty dollars and hug and then jumped on the subway. I was five when that happened."

"Oh," Robin fiddled with the bag of Veggie Chips in her hand and started at the playground's gray concrete, her mind elsewhere.

Lulu arched her brow. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she opened the chips and popped on in her mouth, savoring the closest thing she had to junk in her lunch.

"I'm not blind. Was it something I said?"

"No, I was just thinking."

"About something that's bothering you."

"You're the only something bothering me right now," Robin hissed before stuffing her chips back into her lunchbox and throwing herself off of the bench.

"Uh, if this is how you are when you're happy, I don't wanna be around when you get mad."

"Sorry," Robin sighed. "It's just…"

"What…?"

"I don't even know you. Some stuff I just don't like to talk about with strangers, especially my dad."

"So when I talked about my dad, you thought about yours?"

"I thought I said I didn't wanna talk about it!

"Look…I know we don't know each other well, but I know a lot when it comes to bad dads."

"He's not a bad dad," she snapped defensively. She sighed and allowed Lulu to lead her back to the bench. She slumped downwards, her arms around her chest, her head resting on her shoulder. "He just has problems. No, he had problems. Well, I mean...I don't know what I mean."

"Are you happy that he's back?"

"I've always wanted him to come home and for all of us to be a family. I know that's not gonna happen because he has a new wife and new kids. He says we wants me to be in his new family, but everybody knows adults say stuff they think kids wanna hear."

"Hey, at least your Dad loves you enough to come back here and tell you that stuff. I don't think my Dad loves anybody but himself."

"I don't think my Dad loves me either. I mean, how can you love somebody you don't know?"

Lulu shrugged. "I guess some parents can just look at their kids and love them."

Robin tilted her head and looked her friend up and down. "How do you know all this stuff?"

"I know a lot about having weird parents since those are the only kind I've ever had."

"I know what you mean. My Dad's normal again, but I feel like that's not gonna last long."

* * *

Monday afternoon found Casey Novak curled up in bed with the remote and a bowl of her mother's chicken soup. She knew Lillian was only trying to help, but she was sick and tired of having to explain to her mother that a she'd been bathing without her help for almost two decades and that wasn't going to change anytime soon. All she wanted was few hours of peace. She woke to the sound of her own screams and the dark shadowy figure that turned her mind inside out. She understood Nina's reluctance then.

She did what Elliot suggested and visited the young woman who was all to willing make everything go away. Casey wasn't planning on giving this one up, not without a fight anyway. After everything this case cost her, the benefits would out weight the pain. Not just for Nina, but for herself as well.

A knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts. Charles Katsaros, all big blue eyes and messy brown hair poked his head in the room. "How's my favorite cripple?"

Casey reacted with pleasure and surprise. Why was he so comfortable with her? Hell, why was she so uncomfortable with him? He was going to be around more and more now that he and Robin had found a place for one another. Besides, he was a happily married man and she stopped believing in fairy-tales right around the time she started bathing herself. With that said, why couldn't she get the kiss off her mind?

"Why are you here?"

"Gee," he poked out his lower lip and narrowed his eyes. "Whatever happened to 'hello?"

"The same thing that happened to calling before you come to somebody's house, evidently."

"Well, still haven't found your southern hospitality after you lost it when you mixed in with us Yankees."

"That and I still haven't found out why you're here..."

"Can't a guy check on the mother of his child?"

"I thought your wife was with you."

His eyes darkened at that. "What are you trying to say, Casey?

"I'm sorry," she hesitated, before motioning for him to come in and close the door. "Long day, long nights, just long."

"You can still talk to me, you know that right? I know things are strained between us, but I'm still a good listener," he reached for her hand, but she quickly pulled it into her lap.

"I don't doubt that, but I don't know you anymore Charlie. You can't just show up and expect things to be the same."

"I never expected that, Casey. You and I share a child. That alone says we should at least be able to trust each other to some extent."

"I do trust that you have Robin's best interest at heart and don't doubt that you care about her. You and I, well, that's an entirely different ball game. I told you that I never blamed you for your illness and still don't, but that doesn't change the way being with you affected me."

"I can respect that."

"And I appreciate that."

They were quiet for a time, looking everywhere but at each other. Finally Charlie broke the silence. "It's comforting to know that you trust me with Robin because I wanted to know if I could pick her up from school today. I'm taking Taylor and Little Charlie on a tour of the Big Apple and I think the three of them could use the bonding experience."

"Uh, sounds nice, but I don't know."

"What's the problem? Either you trust me with Robin or you don't."

"I didn't say that I trust you with her, I said that I trust your intentions. What you intend to do and what will happen are two different things. What if Robin says something that sets you off? What if something triggers a delusion? I don't want Robin exposed to..."

"What?" He interrupted, his eyes flashing dangerously. "To my illness? To me in general? I have Schizophrenia, I'm not a child molester! I haven't had a break in _years_ and I don't plan to have one anytime soon."

"I'm sure you didn't plan that one you had when you almost shook her to death."

"Wow, you Novaks love to play that card," he rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air, pantomiming distain. "I got help. I got help just like you told me to and now my life has changed for the better. I'm a good father and I have never, ever done anything to hurt Taylor and Little Charlie."

"I know..."

"And you know something else?" he continued, not hearing her. "I think you're jealous of the fact that Krista was the one who got me into the facility and not you. I know you Casey…you hate to lose. You hate the idea of losing control. I showed you that you can't fix everything with your ultimatums and your utopian ideas. You hate me for that. You hate that you had to grow up and face the big, bad, imperfect world. And that's all well and good. You wanna resent me for the rest of your life? Knock yourself out, but don't use my little girl as a way of sticking it to me. I'm not going to let your hatred keep me away for her!"

"Well that was Oscar worthy. First of all, I'm not jealous of Krista. I respect her love and loyalty to you and I'm _thrilled_ that you have that kind of support in your life. Sure, I hate to lose, but I also hate to gamble. I am Robin's mother and it's my job to protect her. I don't want to take her away from you. Far from it actually. I know she's always wanted to know you and I've always wanted you to have a relationship. I have no problem with her visiting you and your kids under the supervision of your wife and parents. Those are the ground rules and you can analyze my motives until you grow a tail, but they're firm."

"Even motherhood couldn't melt your heart of stone, you cold hearted bitch!"

* * *

"Maybe you could hang out at my house sometime," Lulu wrapped her arm around her new friend. "My mom isn't home on weekends so my older brother watches us younger ones while Mom works. Sometimes my brother takes us to the park, maybe you could hang out with us there."

"I'd like that. I don't really have lots girl friends. I guess girls just don't like me."

"Nobody likes you. Jason only puts up with you because he's too much of a sissy to hang out with the real guys."

"Don't you belong in a museum? You sure give Neanderthals a bad rap."

"Nice one," Robin smiled, high fiving Lulu.

Brandon Hunter narrowed his eyes, looking at Lulu as though she belonged at the end of a stick. "And _what's this_?"

"_This _is Lulu," Robin returned his glare. She smacked her hands against her hips and eased into her sworn enemy's personal space. "My best-friend."

"I thought I was your best friend," Jason stood behind them, dumbfounded, holding a half eaten sandwich in one hand and a kickball in the other.

"I thought you had to stay in and finish your math…"

"I finished it. And don't change the subject. You and I are best friends…right?"

"Why can't we all be best friends?" Robin asked, taking each of their hands into her own.

"Because girls and boys aren't supposed to be friends and besides, everybody knows you can only have _one_ very best friend."

"Don't you have flies to catch, you wart infested frog."

"And if Jason's 'posed to be your best friend, how come you didn't tell him everything about your Dad."

"You don't know anything about my Dad!"

"I know you're scared that he doesn't love you. I know that he's crazy and you're gonna grow up and be just like him."

"Shut up," Robin growled.

"Why didn't you tell me about that stuff?"

"I…"

"I know that your dad was homeless and I know he sees people in his head. I bet your dad never showered! I bet he used to beg for change!"

"Why'd you tell him all that stuff, Jason?" Robin's green eyes flashed at her best friend, her former best friend.

"It slipped out…"

"Your dad was probably one of those homeless dudes that walk around central park, talking to themselves and smelling like a sack full of poop. And I bet your mom's a whore too. She's a dirty, fifty cent whore, that likes crazy homeless men."

"I said shut up!"

"Why are you gonna do about it?"

This time Robin didn't bother to answer. Instead, she ran toward Brandon catching him off guard and knocking him to the ground. Dirt swirled around them, digging into their noses and stinging their eyes. She could hear Jason and Lulu yelling. Other kids rushed over, pumping their fists in the air, eager to watch the show.

She didn't even know that she was in the air until she saw the orange vest of one of the yard teachers. In the back of her mind, she wondered what her mother would do when she found out.

--

"Gee, what a way to win me over."

"You know what, I'm sick of the run around Casey! Either you want me in our daughter's life or you don't."

"I'm trying to keep you from having a relationship with her, I just want this to be a gradual transition. You can't just jump head first into her life. And what happens when you go back to California? How do you think Robin will feel?"

"This isn't really about Robin, is it? You have unresolved feelings for me and rather than deal with them, your using Robin as an excuse to run from me."

"Wow…you're missing the point as usual…"

"No I think I'm getting somewhere. Admit it, a apart of you wants something more between us."'

"I…"

Thankfully, her cell phone tied on a big red cape and swooped down to recue her pride. "Novak. Yes, this is Robin's mother. Oh my god…why? Well…I guess I'll have to, won't I? Thanks, I'll be right there."

"Is Robin okay? Is she hurt?"

"She's been suspended…for fighting. I have to go down there."

"You're not in any condition to drive. I'll go…"

"No…you won't.

"Will you please give me a chance to be the father that Robin deserves?"

"Nope, but if you can grab that hideous faux leather coat you came in, we can be the dynamic litigator dual that we were supposed to be and try to get our kid's suspension reduced to two days."

"Is this your why of compromising?" Charlie grinned, helping her out of the room.

"What can I say? Valium makes me sensitive."

"You really are something, you know that?"

* * *


	10. Covet

A/N: Look guys, I updated in a timely fashion! Aren't you proud! Thank you all for the kind and encouraging reviews. Also, big ups to the folks that have this story on their alert list. I'm thrilled that y'all are liking this!

Little People: Glad to be back. The Charlie/Casey situation will be _very_ hard to compromise in the coming chapters, trust me . Thanks for sticking with this story after such a long time!

Hope06: Thanks! I'm excited about being a great aunt, no matter how old it makes me sound! Gotta love that Novak temper! It's one of my favorite Casey traits.

Jamrock: I didn't realize I was on a schedule ;-p. I'm glad you like the Casey/Charlie stuff. I just complicated it so I hope it still tickles your fancy! And I know you're only being nice to me because you're my niece and I gave your son a shout out! But I still love you though.

CocaCola1052: You're welcome! And look, I updated quickly! Yay!

TVCrazed: They've got their litigator caps on! I hope you like!

And so, on with…

**Chapter Ten: Covet**

"My dad's gonna kill me," Brandon mumbled to no one in particular. He and Robin were sitting in the teacher conference room, writing lines and waiting for Principal Asher to give them their real punishment. "I hope it's only detention."

Robin dropped her pencil and stretched her hand. She never understood how writing 'I will respect my fellow students. I will not hurt my fellow students' three hundred times was supposed to keep her out of trouble. Frankly, the only thing she took away from the process was a headache.

"I hope they don't call him," Brandon continued. "He'll have to take off work…"

"What about your mom?" Robin asked, suddenly interested in the twerp's problems. Well, it beat two hundred more lines of the stupid school pledge. "Can't she come down?"

Brandon glared, but answered nonetheless. "No. She married another guy and moved to Minnesota. She doesn't write much."

"Oh. I mean maybe…"

"Shut up! You don't understand!" he suddenly shrieked. Throwing his pencil to the floor, he darted over to the window. He watched the tree in front of the office dance with the wind, the green leaves fluttering to the ground. Sighing, he brought his hands up to his eyes. She was a girl, an ugly one to say the least, and she wasn't supposed to see him cry. "Nobody understands."

"Maybe you could help me understand," Robin crept toward the window. Where was this coming from? She despised the very ground he walked on. Since when did she care about his problems? Yet, she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and smiled. "It's just a suspension…"

"If he finds out I got a black eye from a girl, he's gonna rip me apart! What's even worse is he's gonna have to miss work for two days if I get suspended. I don't even wanna think about what he'll do to me then."

"What about staying with Melinda? She has to stay home and watch Josie."

"That won't work," he shook his head. "Dad doesn't like the fact that Aunt Linda married another girl. He doesn't really like for me to be over there."

"Maybe he won't be as mad as you think. Maybe…"

"Stop trying to fix something you don't know how to!" Brandon shrugged her hand from his shoulder and moved for the table. "Shut up and start writing before we get in even more trouble."

"Well sorry for trying to be a friend…"

"We aren't friends and we never will be. If Jason wants to be a sissy and chase you and Lulu around, that's his business. Just leave me alone."

"Fine," Robin hissed. She picked up her pencil. 'I will not hurt my classmates' was one thing, but how was she supposed to stop her classmate's parent?

* * *

"Not only did she get your good looks, she got your temper too," Charlie laughed and held the office door open. "Apparently she gave that kid one hell of a shiner."

"Oh, right, and you're just a sweet natured guy of a placid disposition," Casey rolled her eyes. "And for your information, Robin and I come from a very demonstrative, emotional family—phlegmatic moments are a rarity amongst our kind."

"Yeah, well, if Robin keeps responding to her problems with violence, she'll have a very eventful life behind bars."

"And they say I'm over dramatic…"

"You aren't going to reward her for this, are you?"

"Reward her for fighting? No. Encourage her to stand up for herself, especially against men and boys? Damn straight!"

"Turning our daughter into the next Betty Friedan?" Charlie groaned as he looked around for the receptionist.

"If teaching her to be strong and independent encourages her to write a few books and to become the foundation of a movement, than I guess so."

"Okay, why are we fighting amongst ourselves? We're supposed to be waging war against the institution that is systematically teaching our girl child that what went on with Ike and Tina is the way of the world!"

"You're an ass sometimes," Casey eased into one of the visitor's chairs. Much to her dismay, a whimper of pain eased its way into Charlie's ear.

He was by her side in an instant, his shinning armor polished, ready to be the most virtuous knight in all the land. "Are you all right? I told you not to walk so fast… Is it your stitches? Should I take a look…?"

"Oh my god! Will you relax? I'm sore! That's all! Sit down, shut up, and be a good little father and read one of those shiny parental magazines."

Laughing, he plopped down in the chair next to hers. "My, my, aren't we being childish?"

"My mother was right—you do bring out the worst in me."

"It's nice to know I have some effect on you."

"You're an ass…"

"So you keep telling me. It's one of the reason why you love me."

Casey exhaled and realized he was half flirting with her. Actually, she realized that on the ride over. What hit her was that she was playing along—and enjoying herself. This had to stop and since he wasn't taking charge… "Charlie, we really need…"

"I apologize for keeping you waiting," Mr. Asher pushed open the door to the office and smiled down at the parents. "There was an urgent matter that required my immediate attention. I thank you all for coming. Please follow me."

"Where's Robin?" Casey asked as they followed the older man into his nook of an office.

"She and Brandon Hunter are copying the school pledge in the conference room. They'll be joining us shortly."

"Writing lines?" Charlie scoffed. "You'd think they'd have come up with new ways to scourge and oppress children by now."

"Your tax dollars don't pay us enough to think Mr…Katsaros is it?"

"It is," he said darkly. He looked at Casey, whose green eyes were two luminous warning beacons. Like a chastised schoolboy, Charlie lowered his gaze and folded his arms. "We'd like to garner an explanation as to why our daughter has been given a five day suspension."

"It's quite simple, Mr. Katsaros," Mr. Asher folded his arms on his desk and leaned over them. "According to witnesses, your daughter threw the first punch. Therefore, she is being held accountable according to the letter of our school conduct book…"

"Conduct book? These kids are seven year olds, do you give them tickets and anger management classes too?"

"Pardon my…daughter's father," Casey interrupted as quickly as humanly possible. "He's rather passionate about the…situation. Now, do we know why Robin struck Brandon Hunter?"

"Jason Hunter and Thelma Whittemore did state that Brandon made several inappropriate remarks about Robin's home life," Mr. Asher glanced pointedly at Charlie. "Particularly about her homeless father."

"That was in the past," Charlie managed through clenched teeth.

"Though Brandon was out of line, Robin had no grounds to use physical force and with that in mind, she is to be placed on suspension for five days."

"Things have been tough for Robin these last few weeks. I was attack at work and spent several weeks in the hospital. Her father has just recently come into her life. His illness and subsequent living situation are very sore subjects for her. I would appreciate it if you could take that into account…"

"To be frank Ms. Novak, this isn't a courtroom and I am not a judge. There is no need to plead your daughter's case. Now, I'll reduce her suspension to three days, to be equal with Brandon Hunter's, but rest assured that this won't happen again."

"Thank you. We'll see to it that."

"We expect to see Robin in three days with her schoolwork completed and ready to be turned in."

Once handshakes and the proper goodbyes were exchanged, Charlie and Casey exited the office. The door firmly shut behind him, Charlie let out a whistle.

"What?"

"You should wipe your nose…"

"Oh for crying out loud…"

"No, really, that kid got away with saying those horrible things…"

"Kids are cruel, Charlie, that's cardinal knowledge…"

"I don't want Robin to be ashamed of me. I don't her walking through life thinking she has to defend something either of us can help." As Casey's features softened into a condescending love, Charlie averted her gaze. "Don't do that."

"What?"

"Feel guilty. Do a dysfunctional rescue…"

"I'm nobody's hero, Charlie," she interrupted, wrapping her arm around his shoulder. "Our daughter loves you and she's always wanted a relationship with you, even when she thought you were too sick to have one with her."

He turned sharply towards her, his blue eyes so intense they were almost black. "And what about you? What do you want?"

"I take it Robin and Brandon got into it again…"

Broderick Hunter stood in his blue mechanic uniform, grimacing at the situation. His eyes were blacker than the oil stains on his jumpsuit. His sandy blonde hair peered out in unruly strands from his soiled Giants cap. Folding his thick, muscular arms, he extended a smile in Casey's direction.

"How are things at the justice league," he grinned, ignoring Charlie's questioning eyes. "I heard what happened on the news. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, not as sorry as my ribs."

"Glad to hear they caught the son of a bitch. Heard he was a Muslim. Figures…"

"That train's never late with you."

"Never been much of a politically correct fella. And speaking of politics, did you strong arm Mr. Asshole into letting your kid off?"

"Maybe you should strong arm your kid into having some manners," Charlie managed through a smile.

"Hmm, so Robin was defending your honor I take it?" Broderick chuckled and stuck out his hand. "Broderick Hunter. I don't think we've met. I'm Brandon's father. Robin's best friend Jason is also my nephew."

"Charmed."

"Most people are."

"So…are you meeting with Mr. Asher?" Casey sliced through the fog of macho ridiculousness.

"Me? No. I don't have patience for that man. I'm here to take Brandon to stay with Melinda, seeing as she's the only one that's available. My boss wasn't thrilled about me going on this little adventure. I'll tell you one thing though, Brandon will think twice before he pulls a stunt like this again."

* * *

"What do you mean, no baseball?" Robin's green eyes widened as she threw her backpack into the armchair.

"If this happens again you can kiss the summer team goodbye," Casey dropped her house keys into the basket and slid onto the couch, where Charlie had propped up a few extra pillows for her. "I mean it, Robin. I know Brandon said some hurtful things, but that doesn't excuse your behavior. Violence doesn't solve everything."

"And what did your mother tell you about hitting?" Charlie glanced up from the TV Guide he found himself immersed in.

"If it's a boy aim low."

"Figures," he mumbled.

"And besides, everything good in this country comes from fighting. A war ended slavery. A war got us California. Heck, a war got us this entire country!"

"Well, at least she inherited my brain."

"Charlie, shut up. Robin, go to your room."

"Listen, just because you hate Daddy and don't care what people say about him doesn't mean I have to put up with it!"

And with that, she stalked down the hall and into her room.

Casey jumped at the sound of the door slamming as she brought her hand up to her temple, massaging the ache that had materialized there. "I hate to see what it's like when she's a teenager."

"Whelp, in six years our baby'll magically warp into a fire breathing dragon right before our very eyes. I say we enjoy this while we can."

"Hmm…you say that like you plan to stick around."

"I don't plan on missing another day of Robin's life."

"And what about Krista and your kids? They have lives in California, you know. You can't just uproot them without explanation."

"And I can't abandon Robin again. I leave you, either."

"Charlie, listen…"

"I'm not waiting for us to live happily ever after, Casey, but I'd be lying if I told you I didn't wish we could."

"This isn't going to work between us. That part of our relationship is finished. We need to focus on being good parents to Robin. This is about her now, not us."

"I know," he ran his fingers through his hair, releasing an audible breath of sadness. "I keep telling myself that. I mean, I love Krista and I love our kids, but part of me wonders what it would be like…"

He was kissing her. He was kissing her. He was kissing…

She opened her eyes and there he was, eyes closed, nose pressed against her cheek. She tried to push him away, but it was no use…

He was kissing her and she was falling for it.

Her hands found his hair just as his lips found her neck. She heard his voice, though she was unsure of what he was muttering into her neck. She missed this. Quiet as it was kept, she missed _him_. This was what it was like before he slipped into the dark pit…

Suddenly, she was overwhelmed. This man was married. He had two kids waiting for him. She had Robin…only a few feet away. As she felt his hands trail beneath her shirt, she realized part of this had nothing to do with the man on top of her. She just missed being needed. He was there and she was wrong.

"Charlie, come on, stop."

"We both want this," he breathed into her neck.

"Seriously, Robin's down the hall."

His hands, his lips, either weren't helping…

"Charlie I said stop! I said no!"

The sting and crack of her slap shocked them both. Charlie was up in an instant, the apology already forming on his lips. Casey backed away, her hand over her mouth, her eyes slit like a sharp blade.

Worst of all, they had a witness.

* * *

_Next up: An explanation follows and Robin isn't having it. Charlie tells all to Krista who in turn visits her husband's ex. Olivia drops by the Novak residence. _

_And a little later...**A tragedy strikes...**_

* * *


	11. Thin

A/N: Look what I can do! I can update slightly fast now. I feel so accomplished. Oh wow, I didn't know so many people liked this story. Thanks for the support everybody! It means mucho!

TVCrazed: Not to be obsessed with my own imagination, but I love Robin too. :-). Wait no more—alas!—the chapter has arrived! Very glad you like this.

Little People: Sorry about the confusion. It was Casey who slapped Chuckles. Oh the Casey/Krista conversation is so fun…for me anyway! Bwah ha ha! And look! I was speedy again! Yay!

protego-totalum88: You shall know soon enough :-p. Glad you're reading this. And assholes are so much fun to write. And Charlie's just misunderstood /end violins.

CocaCola1052: Solutes Yes ma'am! Updated and ready for lift off!

Hope06: Charlie has a talent for complicating life, doesn't he? He'll be doing that quite often. Thanks for reading!

Futureforensic: Glad you came back! And I'll be your BFF for eons if you update your story. I flove Carly! And thank you for the tip. I noticed that I mentally correct my mistakes as I read, thus making them hard for me to catch. I tried to 86 that habit for this chapter, if you see anything…let me know. It honestly helps.

CNovak929: I thought I was done with this sucker too until a plot bunny started doing the electric slide around my head. :-p I'm glad you're enjoying this. And sorry to freak you out! I totally understand about the exhaustion though. Senior year has its downs sometimes, I declare.

So well…here comes…

**Chapter Eleven: Thin **

"Mommy, are you okay?" Robin's voice came from the corner of the living room where she stood, transfixed, her face gathered in bewilderment. Stepping further into the room, she narrowed her eyes at her father. "I heard you screaming…what did _he _do to you?"

"Mommy's fine," Charlie said firmly. He stepped around Casey, who had yet to react, and kneeled down to his daughter's eyelevel. "Everything's all right. She and I just had a little fight."

"I wasn't talking to you," she sneered, glaring at him like a cornered bull. She brushed past him and reached for her mother's hand. "What's wrong? You can tell me."

Casey cleared her throat. "It's fine, Champ. You can go back to your room."

"I'm not stupid! He was touching you and you told him to stop…"

"We didn't mean to scare you," Charlie interrupted, reaching for her shoulders. "Thing got carried away…"

"Liar!" She shouted and defiantly shrugged away his touch. She whipped her head around and pinned him with a steely look that jabbed straight through his heart. "When somebody tells you to stop you're supposed to listen!"

"Robin, it's okay now," Casey ruffled her daughter's curls and gave her a little shove in the direction of her bedroom. "I can take care of it from here."

"You're scared. I'm staying here 'til he leaves."

"I know you're trying to protect your mother, but everything's fine now. I got a little carried away and I'm very sorry. I would never do anything to hurt you or her."

Robin crossed her arms in front of her chest and leaned against the wall. "Nobody asked you."

"Don't talk to your father like that," Casey admonished softly. At Robin's incredulous stare, she hurriedly added, "I know you're defending me and I appreciate it, but Charlie is still your elder and your father. Show him some respect."

"Kindergartners understand the word 'no'," Robin mumbled through gritted teeth.

"_Robin_."

"Okay, okay," she took a few hesitant steps back, her eyes still locked on her mother's face. Somewhat satisfied that she was all right; she eased into the kitchen and poured her mother a glass of water. Glowering at her father over the rim of the glass, she thrust it into Casey's hand. "Here."

"Thanks, Champ."

"I'll be in my room if you need me."

"All right."

Robin began to leave the room, but dithered.

"I'm fine, Robin," Casey laughed, touched by Robin's protective nature.

"Okay," she assented, smiling a little. "If you need me…"

"I know."

"Robin…" Charlie started, but quickly tightened his lips when he was met with cold, impassive green eyes and a disparaging smile.

Her thin, icy voice cut through his bones. "Just remember, I have Uncle Lucky's cell phone number memorized."

And with that, she made her exit.

Charlie shivered as he crossed the room in search of his coat. He watched as Casey leaned over and unlocked the window. Instantly a cold breeze spilled into the room, as if it had been poised outside, awaiting its chance. The roar of afternoon traffic sputtered around the room. The tree branches thumped against the building like a heartbeat.

"Get out," Casey said, her gaze never leaving the jingling tree branches in front of them.

"I'm sorry…"

"Well la-de-da! Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, he's sorry. Whoa, I guess we can all carry on. I don't have the time nor the energy to listen to you cry like a seventies soul ballad about how sorry you are. Get the hell out of my house!"

"We have to talk about this. What Robin thinks…"

"Robin?" she turned to face him. The breeze lifted her blonde hair into a waltz around her head. Her shoulders were square and stiff, her chin tilted at a truculent angle. Charlie slumped a bit, coming to the realization that nothing would be solved today—not without a battle anyway.

"Now you think about Robin?" she asked. "What she saw…"

"Was unacceptable, I know, but if you let me explain it to her…"

"Oh, it'll be a cold day in Hell before I let you near my kid again!"

"She's my daughter, too! You can't just snap your fingers and magically decide to rip her out of my life!"

"The hell I can't! Robin is my daughter and if I decide that you aren't fit to be her father, then that's the lay of the land. So screw you and the horse you rode in on if you have a problem!"

"I'm not the one with the problem! You've had her for seven years, Casey! I hardly even know her and when things get a little rough between us, you start using our daughter has a weapon! It's childish and manipulative at best!"

"Rough? Are you serious? My seven year old just witnessed her mother knock the snot out of her father to keep him from…"

"Don't you go there!" his voice was dangerously quiet. In one fluid motion he surged forward, suddenly inches from her face. "So everything that happened was my fault?"

"Considering you tried to rape me, um yeah, I'd say so."

"So running your hands through my hair, kissing me back…that was all about big bad Charlie ravishing the damsel in one of his schizoid rages?"

"What happened was all about what you wanted. Sure, I was a willing participant at first but something interesting happened. I remembered that you have a wife and two kids waiting for you. Funny how they never managed to cross your mind…"

"What do you want from me?" he suddenly yelled, gripping her shoulders like a vice. He looked so desperate and demoralized as he scraped his fingers through his hair. "I'm trying, don't you get it? I love Krista. I love Taylor and Charlie. Unfortunately for everybody, I love you and no matter how hard I try, I can't make it go away."

"I don't…"

"I know you don't feel that way about me anymore and that's fine—it has to be. I know what happened…what I did…was wrong. Please, don't use it as an excuse to take my daughter away from me."

"I can't make this okay Charlie. I can't make us okay," she whispered, drawing her hands up to her bare arms. She ran her fingers up against her exposed skin, trying to assuage the chill.

"I know," he slipped on his coat and reached for the doorknob. He paused a moment and searched her face. "You have to know I wasn't going to do _that_. That isn't who I am."

He looked so forlorn and so guilty that Casey's heart smote her. She swallowed and reached out to touch his arm. "Go home to your wife."

He nodded and closed the door.

_Damn!_ If confusion was a sin, they were all headed straight to Hell.

* * *

"So let me get this straight," Krista didn't bother to look at her husband as she placed the final dish on the drying rack. Taylor and Chuckie were at the park with heir grandparents. As she reached for the sponge to wipe the counter, she figured it was better that way. "You blatantly ignored a woman telling you to stop and her daughter walked in and saw right through your 'Mommy and Daddy were just dancing' charade?"

"That about covers it," Charlie exhaled somberly and took a swig of the green tea Krista had brewed moments before. He looked her up and down, his eyebrows tight with skepticism. "Why are you so calm?"

"A Buddhist friend of mine hipped me to a great notion, 'is what you have to say better than silence'. In this case, 'is what you're going to do' is the logical expression."

Charlie gulped, but knew her well enough to let her finish.

She let out a dry laugh as she scrubbed years worth of invisible dirt. "I knew this was going to happen. You've always had Casey and that little girl on a pedestal so high it's a wonder they haven't died of oxygen depravation. And as soon as you get within a mile of her, you go into overdrive trying to play house."

"Krista, it's not like…"

"Like what? What is it Charlie because I sure as hell don't know! Why in the hell did we come here, huh? So you can have a goddamn maid and play hide with bacon with the woman you really love? Is that it?"

He sat silently, fiddling with the scrap of paper still attached to the tea bag.

"Answer me!" she shouted, hurling the sopping wet sponge across the kitchen and into her husband's lap. "Do you love her?"

He looked caught off guard, stung even. He couldn't bring himself to answer her. Charlie kept his eyes fixated on the tea bag, which was an answer as far as Krista was concerned. She still wanted him to admit it. She had to hear it…

"Come no, Charles! It's not that difficult. It's a yes-or-no question. Do you love Casey?"

"Yes, I love her…"

"Exactly…"

"But I love you too. I cherish what we have. Our marriage, our family, means…"

"Our marriage is a status symbol to you! All it means is you beat the odds. Charles Katsaros _survived_ and has a Brady bunch to match. You parade us around like a certificate of excellence. I mean, hey, everything we had seeped out of your mind when you tried to screw your ex-fiancé!"

"What happens next? What happens to us?"

Krista ran her fingers though her long blonde hair and groaned. "We fix this. I believe in for better or worse. We'll just have to roll with the punches. Besides, I basically grew up without a father and the one I saddled Taylor with was a hell of lot worse…I won't do that to my children. I won't keep them from their father, no matter how thin the line between love and hate is getting."

"Thank you. Thank you for having faith in me."

"Now there's the matter of keeping you and Robin together…"

"Casey's not having that," he shook his head. "Not now, anyway."

"Who says she has a choice?"

* * *

"What are you doing home from school?" Detective Olivia Benson asked as she strolled into Casey's apartment. She watched Robin close the door and move further into the room without bothering to answer the question.

"Hi Detective Benson," Robin returned to the couch where she'd been lounging with a book pressed to her nose before the bell rang. She smiled, placing her book in her lap. "Mommy's taking a nap. I'll go wake her up."

"You didn't answer my question," Olivia plopped down next to the girl and smiled. "Why aren't you at school?"

"I got suspended," Robin half mumbled, half grunted into the sleeve she was suddenly chewing.

"I didn't catch that..."

"Didn't throw it."

"Are you sure you're not related to John Munch?" Olivia shook her head and chuckled. "So you got suspended, ey? What were the charges?"

"I guess they don't call you Detective for nothing," Robin rolled her eyes. She fiddled with loose binding on her book. It was one of her mother's old science texts from middle school. "I got caught fighting...with a boy."

"Sounds serious."

"The suspension isn't the worse part though! Mommy's giving me an extra week of dishes and she might not let me play on the summer team! Talk about child abuse. You should remind her about the laws. You're a cop. She'll listen to you."

"If you're anything like your mother, you're a tough kid. I think you can handle a few weeks of scrubbing."

"And baseball? A whole summer without baseball? That's like oxygen for me! It was one fight and now she's trying to kill me."

"You'll have to excuse my daughter," a voice sounded from the doorway behind them. "She's the family Lillian Gish."

"Grandma's maiden name is Gish? I thought it was…"

"Never mind," Casey advanced languidly toward the couch. "You're not supposed to be out of your room, Missy. Out!"

"But Detective Benson's here," the girl whined.

"And you'll be in your room for the duration of her stay."

"You're a cold hearted parent sometimes."

"Yeah, but you love me anyway. Now say your goodbyes and be gone."

"Bye Detective Benson. Keep your handcuffs ready," Robin shuffled out of the room. "You might have to lock her up for cruel and unusual treatment."

"Kids…"

"That was is you through and through."

"Don't I know it? So, what bring you to my rat's nest?"

"I brought you a burger," Olivia held up the grease-stained bag and grinned devilishly. "I hear your mother's playing the megalomaniac of all meals. I figured I'd liberate your taste buds."

"Well aren't you a saintly citizen," Casey snatched the bag and dug into it with glee. "Fries! You like me! You really like me!"

"Yeah, Lucky told me you were…"

"Lucky?" she narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "You and my brother…"

"…went out for some drinks. Nothing serious. Just beer and fried potato skins."

"Kinky."

"Oh, come on, he's a nice guy. We're just friends."

"Right…and when he's ripping your clothes off in a drunken stupor…I'm sure your ride to the abortion clinic will be overrun with platonic conversation."

Olivia grimaced. "What crawled up your ass?"

"Robin's father…or at least he tried to anyway."

"You and Charlie…"

"Almost…I mean…at first I was all for but…"

"He didn't...!"

"No…he didn't. I made sure of that. Truth be told, I don't think he was going to hurt me. I panicked. Slapped the dog shit out of him, too. Then Robin saw…"

"Robin saw you…"

"She's a little Rottweiler, my kid is. Practically ripped her father a new one on my behalf. After she left, he and I got into it. The end result was me telling him he could consider himself a thing of the past in Robin's life…"

"And how do you feel about it?"

Casey snorted with laughter. "You're such a fucking shrink. Teaming up with Huang lately?"

"No, more like a friendly inquiry from a detective with elite interrogation skills."

"Memorizing your evaluations again?"

"Avoiding the question, again?"

"He's pushing me into a corner and I hate him for it. He's so damn presumptuous! He constantly accuses me of having unresolved feelings for him and of using Robin as a shield against them."

"Is he right…?"

"No…not entirely wrong…I mean," she shrugged. Sighing, she leaned her head against one of the couch cushions, her hair splattered across it. "I care about him. I always will. Just as I'll always hate myself for letting him get as bad as he got. I should have done more…"

"So you're guilty?"

"Extremely."

"So what he sees as love is just you doing missionary work…"

"I wouldn't call it that…"

"Of course you wouldn't because you're in denial. You can't keep kicking yourself every time you see the man. You can't rescue Charlie, not at Robin's expense. You made the right choice the first time around. Don't lose sight of that now that he's real and it front of your face."

Casey opened her mouth to speak, but a knock at the door cut her off. Before Casey could protest, Olivia had already flung open her front door.

Krista Katsaros stepped into the tiny apartment, her brown eyes cold and confrontational.

"Krista?"

She nodded curtly. "We need to talk."

"Can this wait?"

"If it could, do you think I'd have come all this way?" her tone was anything but welcoming, her mouth a thin horizontal line.

"Listen…"

"We can do this with or without an audience. At this rate, I could care less."

"We can talk later," Olivia sized Krista up and looked at her friend. "You know the number."

"I don't know where you get off giving out orders," Casey started when the door shut. "But…"

"Shut up! You listen and you listen well, you keep trying to destroy my husband's life and those sore ribs will be the least of your worries."

* * *

Up next: Casey and Krista…converse. Casey goes back to work…finally. Robin is allowed to spend time at the Katsaros' with Lulu.


	12. Run

**A/N: **I'm back! This one took a little longer than I expected. Just to warn you: ignore the preview in the previous chapter. I changed some things around. At the behest of my lovely, hormonal niece, I sped the plot up a little bit. Apparently, "it isn't attractive to beat a dead horse." Heh, who knew?

So, again, thank you everybody for your support. I love reading what you all think. Also, one love to the folks that have this story (and me) on their alert list. Glad you all are enjoying this.

**Little People:** Yup, the Krista/Casey situation ain't goin' nowhere. And as for Charlie and Robin & Charlie and Casey well…that's a horse of another color. Thanks for reading! I love your reviews!

**futureforensic: **You updated? Well…leave it to me to stick my foot in my mouth. While I'm getting it out, I'll indulge my Carly love and read your update. And of course, thanks for putting out my mistakes. I'm editing the previous chapters and I'll replace them as soon as I can. Thanks again for the help in the beta-ing department. And don't hate on Krista. She'll come in handy sooner or later. Thanks for reading. Really glad you like it!

**Hope06:** Krista isn't so bad once you get to know her :-). Gotta love the Novak temper. I love writing it. Thanks for reading and I'm glad you're enjoying this.

**protego-totalum88:** Emotions aren't always logical. In fact, they're pesky little boogers that make for really great drama. ;-) Thanks for reading!

**TVCrazed:** Oh, it's gonna go down. Trust me. And Robin's Caseyness is kind of cute. I adore smart ass children. And look…I updated fast fast for me anyway ;-) So happy you're enjoying this.

**CNovak929:** Thanks! I really like writing, helps me avoid finals. :-) Don't hate Charlie! He's not so bad, honestly. Glad you're still reading this!

**CocaCola1052:** What a little Desert Eagle the little Novak is, isn't she? And Olivia is always awesome. And Casey can be an 'itch. But that's what makes her uber awesome sometimes. And as for the tragedy: nope, you didn't miss it. Thanks for reading!

**Jamrock: **Why thank you, Niece. You got most of your thanks in person so you don't get anymore! Love ya!

**Chapter 12: Run**

As she listened to the little blonde paragon of virtue yammer on about the multitude of reasons as to why she should stay away from Charles Katsaros, Casey found herself wondering what would happen if she mixed her pain meds with a Cosmo. It was too risky, she decided as she polished off the glass of water Robin had poured earlier. In all likelihood she would die and that would leave Robin to be raised by a schizophrenic and a Stepford. The cane and the bruises were supposed to draw in rays of sympathy, but lately all she'd been getting were hours of diatribes and overly busy fingers.

"Do you honestly think you're a good match for Charlie?"

Casey rolled her eyes. Watching a jealous housewife in a lavender cardigan circle her like a vulture would carrion wasn't numero uno on her to-do list. "Which answer is going to get us back to why you're here?"

"I didn't come here looking for a fight, if that's what you're thinking."

"I've never been known as a profit of doom, but when somebody barges into my house threatening me with bodily harm, I expect there to be some sort of verbal or physical conflict."

Krista smiled, but it was slow and irresolute, as she leaned further into the room. She pulled back one of the lime green dining chairs muddled in front of the table, turned it to face Casey, and sank into it. "I only want what's best for Charlie."

"And I want what's best for Robin."

Krista licked her lips. "Is this really about Robin's needs or your fear?"

"Excuse me?"

"I heard the latest and honestly, I'm not here to make any excuses or listen to any. Charlie had a lapse in judgment and his actions were reprehensible. Yet the fact of the matter is, you and I both know he wouldn't even hurt your feelings, let alone do anything far more serious. He told me how willing you were in the beginning. He told me that you wanted him too."

"I never pretended that my hands were clean. Yeah, I opened the door and when I closed it, he should've left it alone."

"And Robin…"

"Isn't up for discussion, or debate, though you and every other Katsaros seem set on both."

Krista recoiled at the acidy in the other woman's voice. Her jaw was set, her eyes narrowed, her lips pressed tight against each other. "Then it seems we have a problem, Ms. Novak. Charlie is Robin's father and on some level, you and I both know that little girl needs him just as much as he needs her."

"I want them to have some sort of relationship, but not at the expense of her wellbeing. He's already proven that he can't control himself…"

"No, he's proven that _you _can't control _him_. Face it, Casey. Charlie is not and will never be your patsy. You can't blame the big bad schizo for all of your trials and tribulations anymore. My husband is a healthy, strong, and courageous man and an even better father. If you can't recognize that, I am absolutely certain a family court judge will."

"You can sing Charlie's praises until the record breaks or goes platinum, but don't shape your over glossed lips to threaten to take my daughter!"

"It's not a threat, Ms. Novak," Krista smiled sweetly, smoothing a few unseen wrinkles from her khaki skirt. "The fact of the matter is Charlie has more than a five year long track record of being a responsible, attentive, and loving parent. He takes medication for his illness and sees a therapist twice a week."

"And the Loon of the Year Award goes to…"

"I have several psychologists that would be more than willing to testify at a custody hearing. _You_ on the other hand seem to have a problem with handling your responsibilities as Robin's custodial parent. For a lawyer, you sure do leave a very informative paper trail. Years of Robin being late to school, missed doctors appointments, arriving home and going to bed at inappropriate hours. Your work schedule coincides with Robin's and more often than not, she's left on the sidelines while you go off to play Wonder Woman. And that's just the paper. What do you think Robin will say, hmm? She'll be under oath so she can't lie. Will she talk about how she cries herself to sleep when you don't come? Or maybe she'll tell the judge how she feels like she's second best? Maybe she'll tell everyone that her own mother loves her _job_ and puissance more than her."

Casey didn't realize she was crying until she saw her reflection in the picture frame above Krista's head. It was Robin's kindergarten picture. Robin had been so excited. She laid her clothes out and packed her lunch the night before. Casey had promised to take her to school, but one of her key witnesses had gotten cold feet and declined to testify. It was either a guilty verdict for a man that had made his millions by pilfering from his workers' pensions or a few minutes with her daughter on one of the most important days of her life. Naturally, she won the case. However in doing so, she established a pattern that would operate in the background of the relationship she had with her only child for years to come.

Krista rose from her chair, pulled a Kleenex from her purse, and crossed the room. With a quick, tight, shake of her head, Mrs. Katsaros dangled the thin cloth in front of the other woman. "I know you love your daughter, but so does Charlie. Don't you get it? Charlie's recovery was predicated on his having a healthy relationship with that little girl. I will not sit idly by and watch you ruin everything he's worked for."

Casey Novak was breaking when life threw her a bone. The gravelly voice, while rich in sarcasm, was mellifluous and smooth. It belonged to a godsend.

"Don't you people ever sleep?" Robin rolled her eyes at her stepmother. Luckily for everyone, she hadn't noticed her mother's watery eyes. "Did Charlie send you over to bug my mom?"

Krista closed her eyes and sighed before replying, plastering on a gracious smile. "Hi there, Robin. I just came over to check on your mother, see if everything was all right."

"It is. Bye."

She frowned a little, but started for the door nonetheless. "It was good to see you, Robin. Thank you for hearing me out, Ms. Novak."

"_Thank you for hearing me out Ms. Novak," _Robin mocked when the front door shut, She flopped onto the couch next to her mother. "What did she want?"

"Aren't you supposed to be in your room?"

"Aren't you supposed to be on bed rest?"

"You're too smart for your own good," Casey opened up her arms, which Robin immediately snuggled into. "I guess that's what happens when kids have to raise themselves…"

"Huh?" Robin wrinkled her nose in confusion. "I have a mom."

"Not a particularly good one, I'm afraid."

"I was really mad about the baseball team and all those things Brandon said. I didn't mean to make you think you're a bad mom 'cause you're not."

"I let you down all the time," Casey replied, dolefully. She rested her chin on her little girl's head. "I'm hardly ever around because I work all the time. And since I got hurt and your dad came back, I have been pretty scarce…"

"You're not perfect. Nobody is, Mommy. You're the only mommy I got. I mean, yeah, I hate it when you promise to come to my games and you don't. Or when I stay up all night 'cause you promised you'd pick me up at a certain time, but then you don't show up until way later. I'm used to it though 'cause I know you're doing your very best. For a lady that has to be two parents, you sure do a good job."

"Well, now that Charlie's back…"

"He can visit, but you're my mom and I'm not going with anybody else."

"Have I told you how much love you?"

"All you did was yell at me and lock me in my room all day."

"Well, I love you and I always will."

"I love you, too."

"All right, Champ," Casey planted a kiss on her daughter's forehead before easing the both of them from the couch. "It's back to confinement for you."

"I thought we were gonna spend time together…"

"You've got forty eight hours until your release. After that the 'Mommy and Me' time will commence."

"Can I at least watch TV? It's educational."

"Yeah? What show?"

"Shakespeare For Kids. It's all the plays made into cartoons. It's on PBS."

"I don't know…"

"Nobody is too young to reap the benefits of classic literature."

Casey blinked. "How old are you?"

"See! Even the commercial's educational."

"Fine," Casey laughed. "One hour and then it goes off."

"Deal!"

* * *

Friday afternoon found Casey Novak sitting in a vacant sulk, nursing an iced tea and picking at an Asparagus Bistro Salad. Olivia had suggested they go to the brasserie after Casey called practically seething about the loss of Nina's case.

"Tracey has no idea how to handle this case. She has no experience dealing with live victims…"

"As I recall, neither did you…"

"That's beside the point," Casey declared waving her fork like a magic wand. A few speckles of salad dressing splattered onto Olivia's cheek, which went unnoticed to the impassioned ADA. "Nina's already been traumatized by our legal system…the very last thing she needs is a lawyer that doesn't understand what she's going through."

"Like you," Olivia dabbed at her face with her napkin.

Casey let out a tepid groan. "Spare me the lecture…"

"Wasn't planning on giving one." Olivia shook her head as she sawed at her roasted swordfish. "Listen, Kibre has to learn how to handle live victims too…"

"Yeah, well, not at Nina's expense."

"This isn't all about Nina, is it?"

"Excuse me? I can relate to her because of what I've been through…"

"Exactly. I never thought this would come out of my mouth, but I agree with Branch. You have a huge emotional investment in this case. Let's say you didn't win…"

"That's not an option…"

"No, it's an outcome. Albeit with all the evidence in our corner, a slim one, but the possibility is still out there. Think of what it'll do to you. I'm not saying you don't care about Nina and that you can't prosecute her case, but if you let your own needs overshadow your work, you're writing a check that your ass can't cash."

"Yeah, I guess some of your points are valid ones." Casey flipped open her cell phone and looked at the time. "I gotta run. Nina's grand jury testimony is in an hour."

"I'll give you a lift over to the court house."

"Thanks."

* * *

_I'll sing it one last time for you_

_Then we really have to go_

_You've been the only thing that's right_

_In all I've done_

"I'm not going to forgive you, Jason. You might as well stop asking," Robin put her hands on her hips and scowled impatiently at her former best friend. "I have to go now. Lulu and I are going to Yiayia's and you know how worried she gets when I'm late."

"I know," he mumbled. He stared down at his shoes for a while. Big, dirt splattered, black Vans. His favorite. "I got into the baseball camp. You know, the one up near Niagara Falls? You still going?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, dragging her feet through the damp grass as they walked. "Lots of things are happening right now with my family. Don't know if we have time."

He nodded and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Do you think we're going to be friends again?"

"Do you think we can stop playing twenty questions?"

"You can't stay mad forever! I made a mistake. Everybody does that."

Robin stared at him awhile, shook her head, and walked off in search of Lulu.

When she reached the front gate, Charlie was leaned against his car, fiddling with his lower lip. Robin smiled to herself. She did that when she was afraid, too. Slinging her bag over her shoulder, she pushed deftly through the horde of children and parents, eager to find out why he was there and what had him so nervous.

"I though you were in California packing up the rest of your house."

"Hey Champ," he smiled, but there was a reserve in his tone that she didn't understand. "I just got back and I thought, 'it's a nice day. Why not take a road trip?'"

"I don't think Mommy would like that," Robin frowned as the breeze ripped her curls around, causing a few of them to hit her in the face. Pulling her hair into a ponytail with one hand, she pulled the scrunchie from her wrist and began twisting in around her hair. At least she tried to. "This stupid thing…"

"I thought baseball players were supposed to be coordinated," Charlie laughed and eased the elastic band out of her hands. As he pulled the last strand of her hair through, the sting of the broken hair tie shocked them both. "I used to be good at this."

"Well maybe if your hands weren't shaking...why _are_ you so nervous, anyways?"

The playfulness faded from his face. "We really have to go," he said briskly.

"What about my friend Lulu? She's supposed to come with me to Yiayia's and Pappou's."

"We don't have time for this, okay?" he growled, grabbing the lapels of Robin's windbreaker. "I know I haven't done very much to earn your trust and I'm sorry. If I had more time I would explain everything to you, but that's not possible right now. So, please, throw your stuff in the back and get in."

"What about Mommy and Lulu?"

"They'll have to wait," he was already opening the passenger door.

"You're scaring me," she was crying, despite herself, as she threw her things in the back and buckled her seatbelt. "What's happening?"

"Nothing I can't fix," Charlie stared blankly ahead. Offering her another solemn smile, he turned on the engine and sped toward wherever they were going.

* * *

_And I can barely look at you_

_But every single time I do_

_I know we'll make it anywhere_

_Away from here_

Robin sat silently as the car zoomed past the landmarks of her grandparent's neighborhood. From time to time Charlie would point out places where he'd spent his childhood, but Robin was oblivious to the whole thing. Her mind was on figuring the whole thing out—whatever it was.

"Penny for your thoughts," Charlie said.

"You don't have enough money," Robin wiggled in her seat and turned to look out the window.

"Are you going to tell me why you're so quiet?"

She sighed deeply, fogging up a small corner of the window. She ran the pads of her fingers over it, drawing a smiley face. "No."

"No? Is it because I yelled at you?"

"Crazy people yell all the time. What makes you special?"

Charlie turned to her. "You think I'm turning back into my old self."

"I'm not a baby. I know you have Schizophrenia. You don't have to talk like a Dr. Seuss book. I know people with Schizophrenia think they see things and that people are after them. Do you think somebody's after us?"

Charlie was quiet for a moment. "We can't talk about this right now."

"But…"

"_Robin!"_

"You have to tell me something!"

"I said drop it! I mean it Robin! I have to concentrate and more time I waste bothering with your incessant questions, the less I have to figure a way out of this mess."

"What mess?!"

"What did I _just say_?"

Robin raised her hands in mock surrender. "Okay! Okay! Sorry." She'd barely let it drop a moment before starting up again. "Maybe we should call Mommy. She'll be worried. She might be able to help. And what about Yiayia? People will notice if I'm gone, you know."

"I'm not kidnapping you Robin," he shook his head and gave away a small laugh. "And your mother, as big a super hero as she is, can't help. Now let it go."

"I can't. I'm really, really scared. I don't like not knowing things and I don't like keeping secrets from Mommy, especially about you. She already doesn't like you, why would you wanna mess everything up by taking me without asking?"

"I shouldn't have to ask to protect you, Robin."

"Protect me from what?"

"You should be an investigative reporter when you grow up."

"And you should be more honest when you grow up."

"Has anybody told you that you're just like your mother?"

"All the time. It gets kind of annoying after the first time," she paused for a moment to fiddle with her shoe. She looked up at him, hesitantly. "Do you think I'm anything like you?"

"Sure!" he grinned, grateful for the change of subject. "You flick your bottom lip when you're in thought, like me. When you love somebody you'll do anything to protect them, like me. And I heard you like lots of sour cream on your tacos, which I might add, is also like me."

"Yiayia says I have your ears."

Reaching over, he pushed her hair away from her face. "Well I'll be…looks like she knows how to spot those Katsaros genetic curses. Maybe if you're lucky, you'll get through elementary school without the kids calling you Dumbo."

"They probably do already, but they know if they do it to my face I'll pound their heads in."

"And that is where your mother steps up to the plate."

"We should call her, you know."

Charlie slowly shook his head. "If you're anything, you're persistent. I think you got that from both of us."

Robin turned back to the window.

"I know you're scared, but I promise, I'll have you home really soon."

Without turning back, Robin groaned. "How soon is 'really soon'?"

Charlie said nothing.

Robin persisted. "Charlie? Daddy, how soon 'til I can go home?"

Charlie closed his eyes and learned closer to the wheel. "I don't know, Champ. I really don't know."

An hour later they pulled into a gas station somewhere with lots of dry grass. Yiayia had finally called, already in a panic. Of course she'd blamed Casey, but when Charlie let on that he had Robin and that everything was fine, Yiayia was more than willing to by them some time. As she watched Charlie walk into the small convenience store, Robin couldn't decide if that was a good thing.

Suddenly, Robin noticed her father's cell phone on his seat. Grinning with victory, she reached for it and flipped open the cover. She didn't get past the third digit when she felt the sting of Charlie's hand across her head.

"What did I tell you? What the hell did I tell you? You really don't get it, do you?"

"You're not allowed to hit me! Mommy doesn't even hit me."

"I'm just trying to help you! Please try to get that through your stubborn little head!"

"I wanna go home and I wanna go now!"

Charlie was back in the car and speeding away by the time he spoke again. "I'm sorry I hit you. You're very right; I'm not allowed to hit you. Nobody is, ever."

Robin was silent. She stared him like the child that she was: terrified, hurt, and confused. She opened her mouth, but before she could, the back window shattered and a bullet pierced the middle of the windshield.

"Daddy! Daddy what's happening?"

Charlie gripped the wheel and smashed on the gas. "Get down on the floor and stay there!"

He twisted around, threw his arms on the back of his seat, and looked out of the non-existent back window. "Shit!"

"What's happening?" Robin repeated.

He twisted forward again and leaned over the wheel to focus on the road ahead.

"Daddy I'm scared," Robin cried out. "What's going on?"

"I know, Champ! Just sit tight, okay? We'll be out of this real soon."

Charlie was almost surprised to find himself crying along with her. His rage was a frightening thing. "Those sons of bitches!" he shouted, pounding the wheel as he drove. "Those sons of bitches."

Sweat broke over Charlie's brow as the bullets continued to fly. He floored the gas pedal, but as he saw the black SUV swerve toward them, Charlie cursed himself for letting things get out of hand.

"Daddy…what are you do—?" She didn't have time to finish her sentence. The SUV clipped the rear end of the car and the Mustang did what Charlie feared it would. Three shuddering flaps and then everything came to a screeching halt. Out of the corner of his eye, Charlie saw the SUV move away from them fast, its work completed.

The sound of crashing metal and breaking glass shattered his hopes of making everything right with a deathly silence.

He could no longer hear anything and he thought he was dead. For some unfair reason, he was alive. He'd lost consciousness and regained it twice. He had no idea what time it was. He could hear the wind flickering through the tall grass as he tried to move. Gasping and shaking with agony, he managed to disengage himself from the car and pull away from the wreckage.

Robin. He had to find Robin.

She was unconscious, no doubt from the impact of hitting the cold, hard earth. He pulled her head into his lap and when he did, he felt the stickiness of her blood as it pooled into his hands.

What had he done? What on Earth had he done?

"Robin! Robin you need to wake up! Robin! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

_Light up, light up_

_As if you have a choice_

_Even if you cannot hear my voice_

_I'll be right beside you dear_

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you for reading folks. The lyrics are from Snow Patrol's "Run".

**Next: **Casey is notified of the accident. Robin is rushed to the hospital. Tempers flare, but many questions don't get answered.


	13. Fall

**A/N: **Hey people! Though this chapter came out fairly quickly, it was really difficult to write. I'm still learning the canon characters, so writing them "in character" proved to be very…interesting. I discovered most of the series are on Netflix, so I've been studying those episodes like a fiend. So, I need your help! Bad. Please throw character insights at me. If you catch me writing the canon characters out of their…personalities?...please do not hesitate to point it out! Thank you!!

I also realized that I've been working on this sucker for over a year! Damn, I learned how to be consistent. I feel grown up! Thanks for sticking with the story for 365 plus days! You guys rock!

**TVCrazed: **Glad you like the set up! Wait no more, her response has arrived! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**protego-totalum88: **What can I say? I'm a cruel and unusual person wielding a pen. (Wait, I use a keyboard, but you get the idea). Charlie won't be able to do much of anything for awhile, at least not where Robin is concerned. Thanks for reading and I'm glad you like this!

**Little People: **To be honest, I'm a little undecided about Krista too. I do have plans for her though, but I don't know if they'll stick. And I gotta remember that the kid's only seven too. Lol! Lillian we back shortly, not to worry. And has for Charlie's motives, you'll have to wait! Good luck with your paper by the way. Thanks for taking the time to read and review!

**futureforensic: **Glad you liked the song. Snow Patrol's awesome. On a random note, if you like them, you might like the band Elbow (if you're not already familiar with them). You didn't miss anything. My goal was to get to y'all be like, "O! Action! Cool!" I hope it worked :-). As for Robin/Jason, in chapter nine when Brandon was yammering on about Charlie, Jason lets it slip that he gave Brandon a little ammunition. Glad to hear you still love Robin and as for Charlie…well…this chapter won't help much… As always, I'm glad you're lovin' it.

**CNovak929: **It makes me happy that it makes you happy when I update! And as for who's after Charlie, your guess is as good as his—for now. I won't make her die! Honest!

**Hope06: **He was does care, but let's just say he goes a little overboard in the "protective father" department. :-) Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**CocaCola1052: **Look at! I updated in the realm of "now". I tried! You buttered be up like a Sunday Turkey…too bad I'm lactose intolerant! ;-) And because you're so nice to me, Olivia will be around more.

**TearsofTomorrow: **I'm glad that you found this story as well and thanks for reviewing it! The Katsaros clan will be around a lot though, especially the old lady and the son. The Novaks will be around more too. Thanks again for reading!

And of course, to everyone with this story on their alert and favorites lists—thank you! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it.

So, without further ado…

**Chapter Thirteen: Fall**

"Last time I checked, I didn't appoint you litigator of my lusty liaisons," Lucky said brusquely from the couch in his sister's office.

Casey gasped, stumbling into the door. She nearly dropped the files she'd managed to talk Kibre into letting her review. "You scared the hell out of me, you idiot. Why exactly are you here?"

Blue eyes glared at her from beneath bushy red eyebrows. "Suffering from Early-onset Alzheimer's, are we? You asked me to pick you up after work because Olivia had some things to do at the precinct," he reminded her, pushing his arms above his head and stretching his thewy body its full five feet, eleven inches.

"Nice try, Big Brother, but I'm not off work. And was that crap about your lusty…?"

"Liaisons. My lusty liaisons! At least the potential ones that could have transpired between Detective Benson and myself."

"If you came here to quote fervid romance novels, you can leave and I'll catch a cab."

"Olivia turned me down and it's your fault."

"How's it my fault?" Casey eased into her chair and raised a disinterested brow. "Something tells me you're going to explain it to me."

"She and I were doing great. You know, having drinks, dinner, threatening to catch a movie or two together. Next thing I know I run into her on the way to your office and ask her out for pints and provisions and then she shoots me down. She said something about 'not wanting to affect her relationship with you!' What the hell did you say to her?"

"First of all, lower your voice. Second of all, it's not my fault that she was smart enough not to fall for your rebel without a clue act. Thirdly, I didn't say a word to her. She mentioned that you all had drinks and that you were a nice guy. I was surprised, but that's all."

"I don't believe you," he narrowed his eyes. "Let's be honest, you don't have a stellar poker face. She probably saw the big green jealous monster screaming in your ear."

"Why does everybody think I'm jealous of their significant other? Listen, I don't care who you wine and dine with. Same goes for Olivia. If the two of you want to date, feel free."

"It's a little late for your stamp of approval. She was dastardly direct with the whole 'it's not you, it's my fear of your little sister's possessive nature' spiel."

"Lucky, one more time, okay? I didn't tell Olivia not to date you. She's an adult who made an adult decision. She's not interested in you so move on and stop crying about it."

"Okay, okay, no need to so harsh," he sighed. "I liked her."

Casey regarded him softly. "I'll talk to her."

"No! That makes me look desperate."

"But you are desperate…"

"And the subject changes—now!—Okay, you need to go grocery shopping because Robin's out of Chocolate Pebbles."

"You were in my house?"

"No, I was in your apartment. Your tiny, cramped, cluttered apartment. And don't look so violated. My hotel bill's sky high and since my cash pile doesn't match the numbers on the piece of paper, I figured I'd crash on your couch until I get an apartment."

"Okay, first of all, how'd you get in?"

"With my key."

"I never gave you a key."

"Yes you did."

"Bullshit," Casey protested. "I learned the lesson of leaving you unsupervised amongst my valuables a long time ago."

"You did…you know…that time…"

"_Lukas."_

"Is that your angry voice?" he grinned arrogantly. "I borrowed your spare key last time I was there and I'm glad I did. I heard what happened between you and Charlie."

"Can we not discuss this here."

"Sure. We can discuss it when we get back to your place. Since you ruined my social life, you have to make it up to me. How about Thai?"

"How about Chinese?"

"Japanese?" he asked hopefully.

"How about Chinese," she repeated.

"I think we'll have Chinese."

"Great choice. Let me pack this up and we can go."

"Your cell's ringing," Lucky picked up the vibrating phone. He grimaced. "It's your almost monster-in-law."

"She's probably calling to bitch me out. According to the clock I'm almost two milliseconds late," rolling her eyes, she opened the flap. "Novak. Sarah…slow down. Charlie, what? WHAT? Is she…how the hell did this…never mind, never mind I'm coming!"

"Casey?"

"I gotta go. We gotta go…"

"Hey…hey…what's going on?" he grabbed her hand and held it firmly in his own. "Is Robin okay?"

"She and Charlie had some sort of car accident. They both had to be airlifted to Mercy. Robin's critical."

"I'll take you…"

"What did he do? What the hell did he do to my kid?"

_Step out the door and it feels like rain_

_That's the sound on your windowpane_

_Take to the streets but you can't ignore_

_That's the sound you're waiting for_

* * *

"At the moment Robin is in critical condition. She was thrown from the car and hit her head on impact. She's got a broken arm and some cuts, but right now we're worried about the epidural hematoma. As Robin's custodial parent, you need to give your consent for us to perform an emergency craniotomy."

"A what?" Casey managed.

She hadn't said much since she and Lucky arrived. Nothing made sense. Everything was blurring together like a film played at fast speed. It was all too exhausting and even more painful to differentiate. Robin. Hemorrhaging. Unconsciousness. She didn't understand and she hated that she had to.

Lucky seemed to notice her silent bout of hysteria. He held out a comforting hand that she gladly took. "What will that do?"

"We'll be removing a part of the skull called the bone flap so that we can have greater access to the blood build up. The blood needs to be aspirated so that we can reduce the pressure it's putting on her brain. Forgive me for being brusque, but we really don't have time for this. The longer we wait, the more the pressure will increase…"

"Do whatever you need to do to save my daughter."

"A nurse will bring you the necessary forms," the surgeon's face softened and she clasped Casey's shoulder. "You daughter has a chance, Ms. Novak. Robin's pupils had a normal reaction to light. That's always a good sign."

"Charlie's going to be all right," Yiayia announced. She joined the group as the neurosurgeon was leaving. She'd gone to check on Charlie's condition. "He was shot in the shoulder, but it's only a flesh wound. He should make a quick recovery."

Krista breathed a sigh of relief. "That's wonderful," turning her brown eyes to Casey, Krista offered a sympathetic smile. "Everything will be okay. I'm praying for Robin."

"Robin wouldn't need your prayers if your husband would've just listened and stayed the hell away from my niece."

"You're being completely unfair," Yiayia declared, glaring at Lucky as if he'd spit on her shoes. "Now is not the time for a round of 'Charlie is an unfit parent'. We need to close ranks and rally around Robin's recovery."

"You wanna talk about unfair?" Lucky shouted. His face contorted in a grimace of rage that writhed on his niece's grandmother. "Unfair is Robin laying unconscious with a hole in her head. Unfair is my sister dealing with the cruel uncertainty of a situation that she has no control over. Unfair is Charlie being healthy as a horse while Robin suffers from the selfish choice that he made."

"You have every right to be angry, but this isn't the time," Krista said softly. "Robin needs us all right now. Focus your energy on manifesting a smooth recovery for your niece instead of attacking her family."

"I can't listen to this!" Casey ripped her hand from Lucky's and wailed at the trio. Her head was spinning. She felt the bile rising quickly and she clamped her hand over her mouth. "I can't…"

As Lucky watched his little sister bolt from the room, he heard Krista's high-pitched voice.

"She needs someone," she said.

Lucky nodded and stepped away as if preparing to go after her, but he stopped. Pulling out his cell phone, he dialed somebody that knew how to just listen.

"It's Lucky. I was wondering if you could…"

* * *

Casey slid down the brick wall in the women's bathroom, exhausted and terrified. The tears were hot on her cheeks, her breath sputtered in unstable swallows, making white steam in the frigid air. Her chest burned, a thudding pain throbbed and throbbed. She wanted to find answers, she wanted to go home, she wanted to breathe—she wanted her daughter.

She felt a warm hand on her shoulder and somebody telling her she was okay. Those arms and that voice felt good for some reason. She could feel the anger fleeting as she remembered who was holding her.

"Why are you here?"

"Lucky called me. I'm so sorry. If you need anything…"

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

Olivia cocked her head as if shocked by her question. "Do I need a reason?"

"Yes."

The detective looked completely baffled. She shrugged. "Because I'm here."

_You feel that your will starts crashing down_

_Whenever you're will starts crashing down_

_Whenever your will starts crashing down_

_That's when you'll find me._

* * *

_Yeah God love your soul and your aching bones_

_Take a breath, take a step, maybe down below_

_Everyone's the same_

_Our fingers to our toes_

_We just can't get a ride_

_But we're on the road_

When Charles Katsaros awoke in the hospital, he immediately knew that he'd been shot. He couldn't remember when or where it had happened, or even who did it. He had the feeling that someone had been with him but he couldn't recall any details and any attempt to do so bludgeoned igneous sparks of pain through his head.

The hospital room was dark, save for the dim light of the lamp on his nightstand. Everything had a nimbus around it and when he tried to focus, the pain billowed towards him like a sharp gust of wind. Closing his eyes proved to be a logical solution. There were only the ineluctable, ambient sounds of the hospital on the other side of the door—intercom announcements, the sound of rubber soles brushing against shiny tiled floors, the hushed conversations between doctors and families looking for answers. However, all of those sounds, including his own labored breathing, were all too loud for Charlie.

The sound of footsteps drumming across the floor made his head spin. He could hear the sound of their voices, the questions in their tone. That smell. Her smell, floral and soft. He gave a small smile then.

"Try not to stay too long," a feminine voice sounded just above him. "He needs as much rest as possible."

"All right."

He could hear the anger in her voice, but he didn't comment on it. Part of him knew what was coming.

"I know you're awake," she said darkly. He heard the sound of a chair sliding closer. "I don't have time for games and neither does Robin."

Robin. Robin was with him when… They were driving, fast. He was protecting her and she wanted to go home. He was pulling her off the ground, her limp body in his arms, her black curls sodden and matted with her own blood…

"Robin! How is she?" he rasped, his eyes still closed. "Is she...?"

"No, but she's close to it," the words seeped out of her mouth like thick, pungent smoke. She snatched his bandaged arm—ignoring his strident cries of pain—and dug her nails into the angry, bruised skin. "I want answers and I want them now. What kind of trouble are you in and who wants you dead? And knowing that you've royally pissed some psycho off, why on Earth would you pick up my seven year old and take her anywhere—especially since I asked you not to?"

His eyes flew open, his voice baleful and grim. "I can't speak to you without my lawyer present."

She couldn't tell if he was being serious or flippant. "Excuse me? Look, I don't have time for games. If Robin's life is in anymore danger, I have a right to know."

"I can't speak to you without my lawyer present," he repeated. He turned his blue eyes on her and Casey quailed a bit, despite herself. "You really don't want to push this, Casey. I know you're trying to keep our daughter safe and right now the best way to do that is to stay out of my way and let me fix this."

"Spare me the platitudes! When they kill you, and they will if you continue in this fashion, then what? What kind of urban lionheart will you be from the great beyond?"

"I can't answer that, not without my lawyer present anyway."

She threw herself from the chair and began circling him, her eyes tearing him in half with a mere glance. Her voice was a horse croak, but her speech never flattered. On her face was an expression of implacable disgust. "Does it even register with you that your daughter is having brain surgery and could end up in a coma…or worse?! You obviously couldn't protect her then and I don't believe you can protect her now. If you care about Robin in the slightest way, you will tell me exactly what's going on."

Brief sadness washed over his face, but it faded as quick as it had come only to be replaced by a stoic façade. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can be much help to you."

She didn't realize her hands were closed around his neck until she heard him sputtering for air. She could feel him clawing at her arms, his feeble attempts to call her name. Was it supposed to feel good?

Hands were pulling her way. Outside her awareness she could feel herself struggling against the strong hold. Charlie's voice is clearer and much more confident as he joins the shouting. The fluorescent lights of the hallway pour of her, providing a warning beacon.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Lucky shook his litte sister by the shoulders. "You could've killed him!"

"When did you join the Charles Katsaros Fan Club?"

"Unless you plan on the two of us being prison pen pals, you'd better rein it in!"

"He wouldn't tell me! He wouldn't help me, Lucky! Why does he get to be all right when Robin's not?"

"We don't know that yet…"

"You're asking me to be to peace with the fact that I may have to live my life without Robin in it and right now, I'll take out anybody who gets in the way of my kid getting a second chance."

"Dead men can't talk Casey. Killing Charlie won't heal Robin any faster and or set it right. It'll drag you down and sooner or later, it'll kill you too."

Casey ceased to hold her tears back. "Then tell me what to do! What the hell should I do? I don't know what to do."

Lucky lowered his head and said nothing, just wrapped his arm around her and held her as she cried.

_Lost til you're found_

_Swim til you drown_

_Know that we all fall down_

_Love til you hate_

_Jump til you break_

_Know that we all fall down_

* * *

Thanks for reading folks! The lyrics are by One Republic and the song is called "All Fall Down".

**Next:** Charlie is released from the hospital. An investigation is launched, but Charlie proves to be no help. Robin opens her eyes.


	14. Know

**A/N: **Hey folks! It's that time again. So, please ignore the little "next up" from the previous chapter. A few things got removed and added. The pieces that were removed will be in the coming chapters so not to worry.

Thank you **TVCrazed **and** Little People** for your insights about Casey's character. Kids do change a lot, not that I know first hand, so that does give me a little wiggle room. However, if I throw in a few evil fan wanks, I'll be sure to warn everybody in advance. :-)

**TVCrazed: **Wow! Thanks! Glad I could hook ya! It really makes my ego turn back flips when we say such nice things. :-) Thanks again for the help and of course, I'm glad you're enjoying this.

**Little People: **I wouldn't go as far as to say Krista is supportive. I would keep an eye on her if I were you. :-p Charlie's mess will spill over in the coming chapters, but in little pieces. It's not what you think, or maybe it is. /end suspenseful music Thanks for helping me out and as you already know, I'm glad you're still reading and enjoying.

**protego-totalum88: **I'm glad I could be of service! :-) I hope you did well on your exams and that you enjoy your summer. Thank insert whatever deity(s) you serve here that finals are over! College here I come! I love Olivia and Casey moments on the show and since they 86ed Casey, I try to assuage my withdrawal here. I'm glad that they're so well received. Thanks again for sticking with the story.

**aMerryBerry: **I have my emo pen out and I'm not afraid to use it. Hehe. Thank you for reviewing!

**Futureforensic: **O, thank you. So, what did you think of Elbow? Personally, I think they should have received a lot more mainstream attention than they have, but maybe that's just moi.

**TearsofTomorrow: **I can't kill off the whole Katsaros clan! What about the children? Maybe I'll send the old people to Florida and leave the kidlets in limbo at Disney World. :-) Maybe in the sequel. Of course there'll be drama. I'm a soap fan remember?

**Hope06: **Thanks! Glad to hear watching those episodes worked. Turns out my subscription to Netflix was worth it. Do I sound like a commercial because I really don't mean to? :-) Thanks again for reviewing and continuing to read.

**CNovak929: **Thanks for the kind words! As for Charles' problems, they'll come out soon. Robin's recovery won't be quick or smooth, but…well you have to wait and see.

**CocaCola1052: **You love me, you really love me! /end Sally Field at the '85 Oscars inpersonation.

And to everybody with the story (an me!) on their alert list, thanks for sticking with the story. Glad you folks are enjoying this too.

Wow this is long…moving onward…

**Chapter Fourteen: Know**

The room was a pale green, inviting. The walls were inundated with baseball posters and a small shelf next to her bed held pictures of her family. It looked like a child's bedroom, with a few stuffed animals strewn around the bed, books half tumbling from the bedside table, the drawings and bright posters.

The room lulled him into a false sense of security, its charming innocence belying the senseless tragedy that had savagely consumed so much of her. His eyes moistened. He approached her slowly and carefully, as if he were an intruder. Taking care, he pulled one of the visitor's chairs to her bedside.

Little Robin Novak lay in the hospital bed amidst beeping machines with coruscating lights, signaling life. A swaddle of white bandages flattered her normally bouncy curls. A blue tube was taped inside her mouth and an oxygen tube snaked into her nostrils. A mosaic of tubes protruded from beneath her hospital gown. An IV dripped saline and medication intermittently into her tiny arm. Just last week she was pulsating with life, her precociousness and sarcasm getting her in more and more trouble. She was vibrant and happy. Now, she looked slight against the bed sheets, machines keeping her alive.

He ran a gentle hand over her face, now cut, bruised, and swollen. He'd only met her once, when he'd gone over to her mother's apartment to get the ADA to change her mind about a case. She was reading on the couch, nursing a glass of warm milk. A charming little monster, her mind full of questions and sharp remarks. She'd grown since then. It amazed him what time could give and take.

The machines beeped; the lights flashed. He sat there, watching her a moment, before remembering what he had come to do. He rummaged through the stack of books on her nightstand. A heavy genetics books for children, with its worn pages and fingerprint stained cover, seemed to be the perfect source of entertainment.

Finally, he sighed. "Your Mom and Uncle Lucky will be right back. Somebody finally convinced your Mom to eat. I don't know if you remember me. Apparently I'm extremely hard to forget, but that only counts for women over thirty so you might be immune. In case you are, the name's Detective John Munch. I work with your mother."

Again he sat and watched her. The machines flashed and beeped, the ventilator breathing for her. "Casey said you were fascinated by science and genetics. Did you know your idols in white coats claim that reading to people in comas help with them come out of it? I hear your brain is in limbo and apparently this'll help you resume your place amongst the other drones in the waking world. It's very important to your mother that you wake up, but I suppose you know that. That's why I'm here, because it's important to your mother. "

* * *

_Clearly I remember_

_From the windows they were watching_

_While we froze down below_

"I'm doing this as a favor to your wife," the nurse said sternly as she wheeled him through the double doors of the ICU. "She and I went to nursing school together. She kept me on track when I couldn't keep it together."

"Thank…"

"You don't belong anywhere near that little girl," she barreled ahead, her voice strong with irritation. "I heard the awful things you said to her mother when she visited you…"

"I was angry…"

"You were running and you still are. Don't go in there expecting her to absolve you. She can't and you have yourself to blame."

"I realize that I have a stellar healthcare plan, but I didn't realize the nurses could click their heels and morph into therapists. Now, I appreciate your help and on some level your candor, but I don't need your advice. I need to see my daughter."

"Suit yourself," she shrugged and parked his wheelchair in front of the door. "She already has a visitor."

Charlie found the older man, whose nose was pressed against Robin's favorite book and lanky figure seemed to be swallowed by the swish of his long black trench coat, intriguing. The man looked over the rim of his black shades as he read, occasionally stroking Robin's even blacker curls. He changed his voice to accommodate the personalities of the different cartoon characters. Robin's monitors moaned harmoniously with the man's voice, as if she were reading along. The whisper of her ventilator shattered the illusion, as did Charlie's agitated knock against the blue door.

"I would like to sit with my daughter," Charlie announced tersely, folding his arms against his chest.

"Last time I checked you were schizophrenic non grata around these parts," Munch said, not bothering to take his eyes off Robin.

"Mr. Katsaros is being discharged this afternoon. I thought it would be fitting for him to say goodbye," the nurse finally stepped it. She stared pointedly into Charlie's eyes. "It should only take a minute."

Munch's cell phone gave a soft ring from his coat pocket. He glanced at the caller ID. "I'm being summoned. I'd be gone before her mother gets back if I were you. She's out for blood and your chaotic jumble of a head on a silver platter would be a welcome distraction for all parties involved." he placed the book on top of the others and lifted himself from the chair. Brushing two fingers over Robin's shoulder, he shot Charlie one last glare before leaving the room. "

"You have ten minutes. Your wife should be here to pick you up and sign your discharge papers," said the nurse as she backed out of the room.

Charlie fixed his frigid blue eyes on the rainbow of tubes that festooned his daughter's body as he turned his chair to face her bed. Flicking a few sweat matted curls from her closed eyes, he picked up her hand. He sat there for a bit, cherishing his memories of her. It was then that he realized there weren't many to grasp onto, that the moment he was in, with her battered hand in his own and ballad of her machines rippling about the room, was a defining moment in their relationship. He hated himself.

"Your mother doesn't know I'm here," he said, adjusting her blankets. "I know you don't like keeping secrets from her, especially about me, but I had to see you."

The monitors drummed forward, the lines on the screen were steady. He looked over his shoulder at the door, as if it would be snatched open at any time, and Casey and her band of brothers would come howling in to make him feel like the intruder that he was. "I actually have to sneak in here," he laughed, stroking her arm. "How do I always manage to complicate everything?"

He glanced over his shoulder at the door again. Still no axe waving Novaks. "Three days, you've been like this. The doctors say you could go either way. Three days of me lying in a hospital bed of my own, thinking about a way to make everything right for. You know," he said. "I wish I could sit here and tell you that I have loved you since the day you were born, but I'd be lying. My mind was so gone, I couldn't tell my butt from a whole in the ground. You were two when I officially met you. Your mother was pushing you on the swings and you were just laughing. You look so much like her when you smile."

All he wanted was to see her smile and maybe hear her laugh if he was lucky. Instead, all he got was the beeping and the flashing. His eyes filled, and her face blurred into a watery collage.

"I came across the playground and you looked at me. You smiled like you were waiting for me. When you looked at me you didn't see a dirty blight on society or some psycho that talked about everything and nothing. You saw a person. You saw a man. You saw your dad. You made me feel like the most important person in the world," he sobbed. "You are the smartest thing I've never done and I love you. I'm so sorry that I got you into this mess. If I have to, I'll go as far away as possible if it means you'll be safe. All I want is you to wake up!"

He didn't know what was worse, losing her to death or giving her up so that she could live a safe and healthy life. The grief billowed towards him like a tidal wave and as the flood gates opened, he held her hand as he cried.

After what seemed like an eternity, Charlie glanced at the door again. He was pushing it and with his luck he would be caught. Pulling himself together and looked up, and when he did, his heart stopped.

Her green eyes were hooded and glazed, but nonetheless open.

"Robin!" he questioned, tentative. "Robin can you hear me?"

Without thinking, Charlie wheeled into the hallway, shouting for a doctor.

_If you love me_

_Won't you let me know?_

* * *

When Casey and Lucky returned to Robin's room after dinner, they found Dr. Harmon, Robin's surgeon, shining a light into one of her open eyes. Charlie was near the viewing window, his blue eyes hopeful.

"Her eyes are open," Casey breathed a sigh of relief. "She's getting stronger."

"I was here," Charlie exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. "One minute I was talking to her and the next…"

"_You_ were here," Casey turned sharply toward him, her jaw tight. "I thought I told you…"

"I'm the reason her eyes are open! I talked to her and she heard me!"

"Robin was in the coma because of you," Lucky inched toward him. "Nobody's gonna getting on their knees and kiss your ass because you pretended to wake her with a kiss."

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Dr. Harmon cleared her throat and shut of the small flashlight in her hand. "At the moment there's no change."

"No change?" Casey stepped further into the room, her eyes blighted with shock. "But her eyes…"

"Robin eyes are open, but at the moment she is unresponsive to light and painful stimuli…"

"She's looking right at the ceiling," Lucky pointed out.

"Notice that her eyes are in a fixed position. It's an involuntary reflex. Your daughter's eyes are open, but she isn't conscious. I wish I had something better to give you, but Robin's prognosis hasn't changed."

"No!" Charlie shouted, pounding his fists against the armrests of his wheelchair. "He eyes are open! She's trying to come back to us!"

"I know this is extremely difficult for you—"

"You know what, you don't know anything about Robin," Casey pushed out. "Robin's a fighter. I'm not about to stand here and listen to you tell us to give up on her."

"If you would like to obtain a second opinion, you are within your rights, but any doctor that examines you daughter will offer the same explanation. Excuse me."

"Robin needs another doctor," Charlie declared when the door shut. "She needs someone who is dedicated to her making progress and ultimately recovering."

"It's—it isn't progress," Lucky mumbled.

"Don't you dare say that to me!" Casey squeezed her brother's arm as tightly as she could. "Robin is getting better and if all you can think to do is give up, then you can get the hell out!"

"I'm not giving up on her, but," he paused, taking her hand. "Maybe we should start thinking about Robin's long term care…"

"She won't be like this forever," Charlie whispered. "I will not accept the fact that this is all she has to look forward to."

"Well accept it," Lucky sneered. "This is the reality you created with your actions and now we all have to live with it."

"This wasn't the way it was supposed to happen," Charlie yelled. "It was supposed to be better."

Before any explanation could be garnered, a knock sounded at the door and Charlie's nurse strode in. "Forgive me for interrupting you all at a time like this, but your wife his here to sign your discharge papers Mr. Katsaros. You are to be released after that."

As the nurse wheeled him from the room, Casey placed a cold hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her, his eyes rueful for the first time in seventy-two hours. She stood terrifyingly still, the events of the last three days reeling from her eyes. They'd been participating in the macabre ritual since the beginning and he was becoming lost in it.

She bent down slowly and as she did, a soft breeze tickled his neck. He managed not to shiver. "If Robin dies, unlike your little friends that got her in this situation, I won't miss."

He stared straight ahead as he was wheeled away. Deep down he wished she would live up to her promise.

_When the future's architectured_

_By a carnival of idiots on show_

_You'd better lie low_

* * *

_Was a long and dark December_

_When the banks became cathedrals_

_And the fox_

_Became God_

When Charlie and Krista returned to his parent's house they found Taylor sitting on the couch, bouncing Chuckie on her leg, laughing simply because the three year old was. When their parents made their presence known, the two children moved as one. They were like shadows, each of the other.

"Is Robin coming home too?" Chuckie was standing in front of them now, his bottom lip protruding, prepared to cry.

Charlie eased down and drew the boy into his arms, gently brushing a few fizzled curls from his face. Taylor was watching them. He couldn't see his eldest daughter's face as he allowed his son to rest his head on his chest. He decided it was better that way.

"Your sister hit her head really bad and because of that, she's going to need a lot of rest to get her strength back. She's in a long sleep called a coma right now. When she wakes up, it'll be easier for her to get well."

"When's she gonna wake up?"

"We just have to wait and see."

Hope's dim pulse was nestled in his youngest child's eyes and that offered mercy, even if only briefly. He held his son as he cried, feeling his own tears roaring to his eyes. To be three again. He was allowed emotion back then. Chuckie didn't know how lucky he was.

"Taylor," Charlie thumbed away his son's tears and looked up at his daughter. "Where are your grandparents?"

"They went food shopping," the girl spoke for the first time. "Pappou finally convinced Yiayia to eat something."

His mother's torrent of grief seemed equal to his own. She and Robin were inseparable at one point, joined by a bond that seemed even deeper than their blood. She was very protective and possessive of the child who had been her only connection to her favorite son up until a month ago. Robin rarely shared this sentiment, having her grandmother coddle her constantly, but she needed her. Charlie could taste the metallic sensation of severance. A stream of understanding flowed within him.

"Have you guys had dinner?"

"They had a snack before I left for the hospital," Krista said, sitting on the couch next to her daughter. "Your father insisted on cooking dinner."

"Daddy…can I…can I talk to you—alone?"

"I think somebody needs a bath," Krista stood up and lifted Chuckie into the air. The boy giggled with delight. "We'll be down in a bit."

"What's on your mind Princess?" Charlie asked, joining Taylor on the couch.

"Is Robin dying?"

"No, Princess, she's not dying. The doctors are doing everything they can to keep her alive so she can heal and come back to us."

"Come back? Is she brain dead?"

"The doctors say that she has a good chance of coming around because of her age. There's some activity in her brain so that's also a good sign. And you know something else? She opened her eyes today. She can't talk or feel us yet, but she opened her eyes. I think that was her way of telling everybody not to give up on her yet, that she's working really hard to come back to us."

"That's good," she replied solemnly.

"Doesn't sound like that's how you really feel…"

"I can't help but think that part of this is my fault!"

"Where would you get an idea like that?"

"I know I wasn't very nice to Robin, but I was only like that because I thought she and her mom were going to steal you away from us. So I wished she would go away and never come back. And now she's gone. I wished for the worst possible thing and now I got it."

"Oh, no, Princess," he pulled her tightly into his arms. "This has nothing to do with you. I know it was difficult between you and your sister, but she knows that you never meant her any harm. What happened to Robin was a terrible accident and you are not to blame."

Her brown eyes wide, the interplay of compassion and the melancholic rested within them. "Are you?"

The whoop and clatter of Sara and George Katsaros abruptly ended the conversation, much to Charlie's delight. Taylor greeted her grandparents before excusing herself, asking her father to call her down for dinner.

"How's Robin?" his mother asked.

Charlie got a glimpse of himself in the mirror above the mantle. His cheekbones swallowed his eyes, leaving dark pits. His light brown strands darted in different directions like flies itching to be swatted. His lips were swollen from his feeble attempts to keep the tears at bay. Yet: "how was Robin?"

"She opened her eyes a few hours ago."

"That's wonderful!" his father exclaimed, giving his wife's shoulder a squeeze. "This calls for celebration. We should visit her in the morning…"

"Her doctor says it was an involuntary reflex. Her eyes are open but she's still unconscious."

"She's…she's a vegetable?" Yiayia's hand flew to her mouth, her eyes already beginning to water.

"To some extent, I suppose. They're not giving up hope. Everyone except Casey's brother, but that's neither here nor there. I believe she's going to come back to us. It may take some time, but she'll come back."

"The way she left? Will there be brain damage?" Pappou asked.

"We don't know."

"This is terrible," Pappou declared. "Poor Casey."

"Poor Casey?" Yiayia scoffed. She narrowed her eyes at her son. "Poor Charlie! He's the one that's going to have to live with killing his own daughter."

"Sara…"

"Leave us," she waved her husband off. "I need to speak to my son."

He watched her intently before nodding and heading for the kitchen. "I'll get dinner started."

"I can't fix this, Mother. I'm trying, but I can't fix this."

Any other mother would've appreciated this avowal--the vulnerability, the paralysis in his words. The matriarch gave nothing but a speech about solidarity, compassion, and family. The Katsaros family and it's long winded queen were all there for him with open arms and enough humanity to vaporize world hunger. The master behaved toward her puppet in a decorous manner, leaving mother and son to tread water. He wanted his mother to see him beyond their mistakes. They lived in a world of black and white, those two, allowing the sun to set on either or, leaving Charlie to wonder what lay in the middle.

Charlie peaked over in the trench and into No Man's Land, clutching the memory of the one person who ever loved him. "Please Mother, not right now. My daughter is fighting for her life and all you can think to do is go on some tirade about the homogeneity of pain?! I'm pissed and I'm scared and I'm ashamed and I don't spiel about how much the family loves me."

To say that he was surprised when he felt his mother's arm overwhelm him would be the understatement of the year. He hadn't cried in front of her in years, not when he was lucid anyway. Sara eased her little boy's head into her lap, rocking him as the waves of the day's events licked at his sanity. For a few magical moments, Charlie allowed himself to feel grief and his mother's support.

_Bury me in armor_

_When I'm dead and hit the ground_

_My nerves are poles that unfroze_

_If you love me_

_Won't you let me know?_

* * *

_I don't want to be a soldier_

_That a captain of some sinking ship_

_Would stow, far below_

"Did you get my message?" the throaty voice at the other end of the phone asked. There was laughter in it. Charlie felt the murder bubble into his fists.

"Yes."

"Well, my monosyllable loving manic, I hope your loyalty doesn't come into question again. Maybe I'll send Charles Katsaros, Jr. a case of V8."

"That won't be necessary."

"You know, there is no way out," the voice reminded. "All doors can be opened and closed. Remember that."

The flat line of the dial tone posed as a reminder of what was at stake. Charlie put the phone on the receiver and sighed. He was doing the right thing, wasn't he

* * *

Taylor lay in her sister's bed, clutching Robin's covers up to her nose. Robin wouldn't be too please about her big sister being in her bed, but Charlie couldn't bring himself to ask her to go. Instead, he shifted the little girl closer to the wall and crawled in beside her. Robin's little-girl scent mingled with his memories of her mother and in the mist of keeping their heads above water, Charlie and Taylor managed to drift into sleep--their storm sails set in place.

So if you love me

Why'd you let me go?

* * *

_I took my love down to violet hill_

_There we sat in snow_

_All that time she was silent still_

"I don't believe that you're gone," Casey said, adjusting her daughter's blanket. She didn't know if the girl was cold, if she could feel cold, or even if she would wake up and remember what the word meant. "You're just a little lost."

Robin's eyes stared up at the ceiling. The doctor offered to close them, but Casey insisted that they be left as they were. Robin obviously wanted them open or she wouldn't have gone through the trouble of opening them. They all wanted her treat her daughter like an inanimate object, a decoration. She was defunct, useless, one of the waking dead. Robin was going to prove them wrong.

"Hey remember last year when we took the subway to Yankee Stadium? We were all packed in one car like a bunch of sardines. Every time somebody coughed you were ready to jump out of your skin. I was half surprised you didn't bring your hand sanitizer with you. Anyway, you must have thought I got off because you rushed off the train. I tried calling you, but you couldn't hear over all the voices. You weren't even afraid. You jumped on the next train and got to the station. I was right there on the platform waiting for you."

"Well I'm on the platform now and I'm waiting for you. Get on the train and come to the station. I'm waiting for you. I will always wait for you."

_Said, if you love me_

_Won't you let me know?_

* * *

As always, thanks for reading folks. The lyrics are by Coldplay and the song is "Violet Hill." I can't wait for their new album to come out so I can buy it. There's just something about those Englishmen…

Also, the final scene was inspired by my favorite soap opera, General Hospital. It's too bad they got robbed of emmy nominations…

I'm not including my usual "next up" because I'm still playing with what will be next up. I promise I'll try to update as soon as the juices start flowing! Until then…


	15. Time

**A/N: **Sorry about the delay in updating. A combination of writers block, wrapping up finals, and graduation BGs didn't exactly help the situation. Yet, nearly two weeks and a couple less strands of hair later, I'm back.

**Hope06: **I love GH, have since I was but a wee one. Who's your favorite character and favorite pairing? I'm a big fan of the Qs and would personally love to see more of them, no matter who they're with. Back to the topic at hand, thank you for reading and I'm glad you're still here!

**Futureforensic: **Very glad you liked Elbow. If you'd like another recommendation, I'd also look into M83. Anyhow—finally!—some Charlie sympathy! And as for Lucky's side, it'll stick around for awhile and may even cause trouble. As I'm sure you already know since I "say" this all the time, really glad you're still reading!

**TearsofTomorrow: **Yiayia would fit in at a violently tasteless resort for the long lived. You can't let the kids roam though. Remember, this is an SVU world. :-) Glad you liked the Munch and Robin moment. Charlie's troubles come out piece by piece so I suppose the proper phrase is: stay tuned. You already know I'm happy that you're enjoying this, but you also know I gotta tell you again.

**TVCrazed: **Yay! Another GH fan! Who's your favorite character and what's your favorite pairing? I'm a diehard Q fan and love them in all their glory and gloom. And there will be more Robin/Casey moments. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**CocaCola1052: **Don't hate men, they're not all bad. All two great guys on the planet are offended by that statement. ;-) Charlie has to stick around, at least for some time. Glad you noticed the symbolism and imagery. I actually turned in that chapter for my creative writing course, so I'm excited that my work didn't go unnoticed. And look, I updated kinda soon, one out of three ain't bad…right? :-)

**CNovak929: **Thanks! And I updated soon! I feel proud. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Little People: **Glad you liked the song. I love Coldplay. They're inspiring on many different levels. I'm super glad you're interested in the whole "who wants to off Charlie and what reason did they pick off the laundry list?"plot. It'll unravel in the coming chapters. You know I'm excited to see that you're still reading and enjoying.

**protego-totalum88: **It's always wonderful to hear that my updates make you feel better. I hope your exams are going or went well for you. As for Munch/Casey, that's up in the air…757 up in the air. And Charlie hasn't mastered the concept of "one mustn't go where one is unwanted" yet. Thank you for your complements on the final scene from the last chapter. To be honest, it's one of my favorites so it felt really awesome to know that you enjoyed it. I adore your reviews and the fact that you are still reading. Thanks again.

**Jamrock: **I would offer you some Midol but I know that's not the problem. :-p And you're right "hate" is a strong word, but I guess you'll have to wait and see before you decide the fate of our relationship. And I updated soon, for you anyway. And for the record, your cooking isn't fear inspiring, it's your baking that has me on edge!

As always, to every that has the story and me on their alert lists, I appreciate it and I'm glad you all are enjoying this. This extends to everybody who reads as well.

So…I give you…

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen: Time**

_The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight_

_Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time_

"You did such a good job opening your eyes today," Casey smiled, tenderly stroking her daughter's cheek. "I know it's really hard and that you're doing your best, but I need you to keep trying. You're a fighter—just like me. You go your own way. You think for yourself. No matter what you hear those doctors say, you have to keep fighting. You have to come back. I know you can do it."

Five days Casey Novak had been sitting with her daughter, willing her to wake up. Five days of friends and co-workers offering kind words. Her braver family members offered gentle touches—storm sails. The doctors were all cautious, gauging the tide as their lips moved. However doctors could lie and one thing they could lie about was empathy. Casey Novak revered the truth, but she could lie too and one of the things she could lie about was compliance. She watched them sail away quickly as if sensing the eyes of he storm was rapidly receding.

Casey laughed, wondering how men and woman who played God day in and day out could be so pessimistic.

She spent the rest of the night pleading with her little girl to come back. She never did. Finally her exhausted body got the best of her as she collapsed against Robin's soft blanket. She rested her cheek against Robin's hand, the constant berceuse of the machines providing their usual false sense of stability, and she made the mistake of closing her eyes—allowing herself to be lulled into a deep sleep.

Her mother woke her up. Lillian Novak touched her daughter's shoulder and she jerked to consciousness, groggy and confused.

"Ladybug," Lillian said softly. "Sorry it took me so long. I had trouble getting a flight."

"I'm just glad you're here," Casey yawned a bit, stretching her arm. "Have you seen Lucky?"

"Briefly. He said he had a few things to take care of, but he'd be right back," Lillian looked up and contemplated her granddaughter, really looked at her. She felt the tears spring to her eyes and she brought her hand to her mouth, shocked at what she was seeing. "I can't believe this is happening. How is she…?"

"It's rough right now, but she's rallying. She's a tough kid. You know she opened her eyes the other day? She's getting stronger and she's coming back to us," Casey beamed, giving Robin's hand a tiny shake. "Isn't that right, Champ?"

Lillian sighed, solemnly regarding her daughter as she pulled a second chair up to her only granddaughter's bedside. She reached for to stroke Robin's arm, but immediately decided against it. "Lucky told me what the doctor said."

"She can hear you..."

"The question is: can you?"

Squirming a little, Casey adjusted Robin's wrinkle free blanket. "There's nothing to hear, all that's left is believing."

Lillian's voice was soft, as if she were afraid of her own words. "And what do you believe, Casey?"

"I believe what any real mother would."

Lillian felt a flare of resentment at the unexpected reproach. "I didn't come to argue."

"Then don't."

"Casey, Ladybug, look—I'm just trying to make this…easier on you. I want Robin to wake up just as much as you, but maybe we should just—"

"I don't want Robin hearing you talk this way," Casey snapped, irritated at he direction the conversation was taking.

"I don't want to hurt you or Robin, but maybe you should start giving her long term care some real thought. These machines, these tubes—for crying out loud Casey! She's seven years old! How long do you think she'll live this way? Months? Years? Do you really want her to suffer?"

"I know all of this is hard, but Robin's fighting and it's working. You people need to stop acting like her life's over. She's going to be all right."

_I am here still waiting, though I still have my doubts_

* * *

_I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out_

The restaurant was dimly lit, all potted ferns and redwood lined walls, a marble floor so black it looked like it would swallow him up. Lucky Novak spotted her leaning against the bar. She'd just come from the precinct and by the looks of it, she was in a hurry to get back.

The handshake she offered him was firm and friendly, like she was stopping him before he even started. The waiter led them to an intimate table for two. A small rose bloomed in the center and a single votive flickered seductively by the flower's side. Ella Fitzgerald crooned out from the speakers. Lucky silently chastised himself for not thoroughly reading the reviews.

"Thanks for meeting me," Lucky pulled her chair out before sitting in the one across from her. "I know you've been busy lately."

"How's Robin doing?" Olivia Benson asked, placing her napkin in her lap. "I've been meaning to go by the hospital to see her, but we've been swamped."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, about Casey and Robin."

Olivia glanced at him over the rim of her water glass. "Lucky…"

"Listen, I know you and my sister ain't all that close, but you were there for her while Robin was in surgery, and you really got through to her. I really appreciate that."

"Your sister and I don't always see eye to eye and over the last year we've managed to build some sort of a friendship. I don't want to ruin…"

"I can respect that and I'm not asking you to ruin anything. I just want you to repeat what you did that day."

"I just listened to her Lucky. I didn't force advice down her throat."

"Look, I'm worried about my sister. You know her, at least to some extent. You know she's practical and you know she deals with everything in black and white. She doesn't like to get her hands dirty in the grayness of life. The woman that's sitting in that hospital room holding the shell that was her daughter isn't my sister. She's in denial and if she keeps this up, she'll end up in the bed next to Robin."

"I know this is difficult for everybody involved, but I can't tell her what to do. It's not my place and frankly, it isn't yours either."

"She's wearing herself out…"

"It's hard…you know it's hard to accept what the doctors are saying at this point."

"I know," he sighed. "Especially since Robin opened her eyes a couple days ago. Her doctor said it was just a reflex, you know, something that couldn't be helped. Kind of like Casey's denial, you know? Any mother wouldn't want to take on the idea of her child never coming back. She thinks that Robin's just gonna wake up and everything will magically go back to the way it was. Now listen, we all tried to get through to her and obviously we can't. I'm hoping that you can."

Their waiter arrived. Olivia ordered a strawberry spring salad and a cup of coffee. Lucky got a steak and a beer, making it very clear that the beer was more important.

"Drinking won't help," she said once they were alone.

He smiled, shrugged and laughed. "Don't I know it? Just numbs life a little. Anyway, about…"

"Lucky, as long as I've worked with your sister, I've come to learn that she's a determined woman. She won't listen to anything I have to say unless she really wants to hear it."

"Just try. Maybe it'll be easier, hearing it from you."

"And what exactly is she supposed to be hearing?"

"Robin's in a persistent vegetative state and it doesn't look like she's coming out of it. As hard as it is, we really need to start planning Robin's long-term care. She needs to be in a facility equipped for people with her condition."

"There's _nothing_ they can do for her?"

"I didn't say that…"

"Then why are you pushing this?"

"Miracles happen and I hope one happens to my niece, but Casey needs to brace herself for the real possibility that Robin may never recover and I believe you can help her do that."

A half hour and a full stomach later, the ding of Olivia's glass hitting the wooden table marked the end of the trial. "I'll talk to her, but don't expect me to force my opinions and judgments on her."

"Thank you," as she reached for her wallet, Lucky grabbed her wrist. "Oh no you don't. A man never lets a lady pay for her dinner and a gentleman never lets a lady pay for his. My daddy taught me that."

"Your daddy never read Betty Friedan."

"Daddy never read between the lines. It's how he died. It's how most people end up in holes too big to dig themselves out of."

* * *

_The broken locks were a warning, you got inside my head_

Conrad Katsaros was leaning against the bar like he was the only thing holding it up. He was grinning from ear to ear, like a life sized color photograph, though Charlie could never remember his older brother smiling. He held a drink in one hand, and a cigarette in the other, his lips moving smoothly as he charmed the female bartender.

Connie was a darkly handsome man, though the scar under his right eye could be a bit disconcerting. His features were more forbidding than Charlie remembered, probably just a side effect of life, but maybe it was the smoldering rage burrowed in his dark eyes and even darker brows. Still his full mouth, which had always been his most lucrative feature, was almost gentle—feminine even.

"Took you long enough," his voice held a caustic warning as he eased away from the counter and the blushing bartender. "I was beginning to think you would prove me right—again."

"How'd you know I was here?" Charlie asked. A ghost of a smile danced on his lips as his eyes darkened.

"I could smell your after shave a mile away," Connie chuckle a bit. He leaned in, dangerously close. "Or maybe it was your fear."

"You know what they say about dogs…"

"You finally grew a set," Connie raised his scotch in a mock solute, a keen smile spreading across his face like a stain. "Can I get you a drink?"

"No," Charlie glanced at the bartender, who had suddenly become a dutiful employee. He nodded to indicate a table at the back of The Albatross. "Lets talk."

It wasn't a question nor was it an invitation. A flash of pride glimmered in Connie's brown eyes. "Life on the edge has toughened you up Little Brother."

The muscles in Charlie's jaw tightened. "You sound almost…proud?"

"And it took you imprisoning your kid in her own mind to do it," Connie clapped as they sat down. "Congratulations."

"I only want to have a civil conversation with you," Charlie spoke softly. "But if you have something else in mind, I'll be glad to accommodate you."

"You're in enough trouble," Connie waved his free hand dismissively. They were in spitting distance of the men's room. A pernicious stink of urine thickened the air. Conrad sniffed. "Great location you chose. You always knew how to wind up in a pile of shit."

Charlie's unwillingness to be baited proved to be unnerving for the elder Katsaros brother. "I'm sure you didn't drive three hours to wax sentimental with little old me," he sipped his scotch with an elevated pinky. "Why exactly are you here? I mean I can guess, but maybe you'll surprise me."

"As you so kindly pointed out, my daughter's a vegetable. The doctors don't think she has a big chance, but Casey and I aren't giving up. I guess we don't know how."

"No parent does," Connie nodded in understanding. He had three children of his own, his youngest not much older than Robin. As if ashamed of his sudden act of humanity, Connie downed the last of his drink in a violent swirl, the amber liquid burning his throat. "I'm sorry about your kid, but honestly, what does this have to do with me?"

"I'm in trouble…"

"No shit! The real question is: what kind and how much?"

"What's done is done," Charlie grimaced a little. "The less you know about the details, the better you'll sleep tonight."

"You know, with your certifiable imagination, you really should stop watching crime show marathons," Connie rolled his eyes. "The grapevine's already busy anyway. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to shake the stigma of our relationship. Maybe it's because we have the same nose."

"What do you know?"

"Oh, nothing, really," he shrugged and adjusted the sunglasses on his head. "Just that you have no time sense. Timing is everything in our line of work, Little Brother. Time holds life with loose fingertips. One wrong shake and something, if not everything, breaks."

"Thank you Frost," Charlie shook his head. "I need to know…"

"What, if I'll help? Sure. She was my niece…"

"Is."

"What?"

"She _is_ your niece."

"This won't bring her back, you know. It won't turn back time."

"I got into this mess trying to save one life and I ruined another. Somewhere in the gray area is justice."

"There is no justice," Connie stood up, ending their conversation. "Only time. You use it right and it just might heal all of your wounds."

_I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead_

* * *

_I still see your reflection inside of my eyes_

_That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life_

Casey watched as he nurse, who had introduced herself as Florence, changed Robin's IV and checked her vitals. Steady was how the woman described them. She was cruelly vague, not encouraging hope and not writing off the possibility. Her words were sympathetic and painfully earnest. Casey would've hated her if she had the energy.

"I can bring you some extra pillows," Florence wrung her hands and shifted from side to side, as though afraid to go any further. The young woman nodded toward the hard visitor's chair Casey had been sleeping in. "That's got to be hell for your back, especially after your…injuries."

"How'd you know…?"

"I watch the news. I'm sorry, about everything that's happened."

The nurse's show of solidarity felt foreign, disgusting somehow. Casey clamped her lips shut and began smoothing Robin's bedraggled curls. Without looking up to acknowledge the intruder, Casey finally spoke. "She needs her hair washed."

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Florence nod and spill out of the room. She felt another presence behind her and knew who it was before she even looked. She slowly turned around to find Detective Olivia Benson standing apprehensively on the threshold of Robin's hospital room.

"Her eyes are open," Olivia remarked.

Casey nodded slowly. "She's getting better."

Olivia's eyes darted like a sparrow seeking a safe perch. They settled on the pictures on Robin's bookshelf: a younger Robin stood gripping a baseball bat tightly in her fist, like it was all there was—she and Casey just last year at the law enforcement league's championship game, both grinning after Casey's team of ADAs hammered Elliot's team of police officers for the second time. Slowly, Olivia's eyes began to make peace with the comatose child lodged in the hospital bed and she was able to look at her.

"How are you doing?" Olivia asked after some time.

"Robin's eyes open and close, almost like she goes to sleep and wakes up. She's going to wake up soon."

"Hey," Olivia's voice was gentle as she moved closer to Robin's bed. "I asked about you."

"I'm fine," the mother answered shortly.

"Do you need anything? Water, maybe a bite to eat?"

Casey just shook her head and continued to stare into her daughter's eyes. "How can they say she's not here?"

Olivia said nothing, just adjusted her weight in her chair.

"Why are you here?" Casey asked, her eyes blazing suddenly.

"I thought you could use…"

"Pity?" she interrupted, a bitter laugh sizzled from her throat. "I don't need it and either does Robin."

"Pity isn't my style."

"How noble of you."

"Casey, I'm your friend. I get to be worried about you and Robin."

"There's nothing to worry about. I'm fine and Robin will be too."

"The doctors say…"

"How do you know what the doctors...?" as realization dawned her features, Casey let out a cynical hiss. "Lucky. Did Lucky send you here?"

"He's worried."

"If he wants to give up on Robin, I can't stop him. I wish I could, but there's only so much I can give and everything I have goes to my daughter. I don't have time to defend my faith in Robin's recovery. Go back and tell my brother that your Mother Theresa act needs polishing."

"I'm no saint and I'm not here to be one. I'm on your side."

"So you believe Robin's going to wake up?"

"That's unimportant. You're her mother and she's a part of you. Nobody has the right to force you give up hope."

"Even if I'm wrong?"

"Are you?"

Lucky and Lillian chose that moment to make their entrance. Both Novak's surveyed the room, wondering and waiting.

Lucky was the first to speak; "Dr. Harmon's coming to discuss Robin's condition with you."

"Your plan didn't work," Casey glanced between her brother and the detective who was trying her best to become a shadow. "I'm not giving up."

"Oh, Ladybug, nobody's asking you to give up. We just want you to explore your options."

"And Robin staying like this isn't one of them."

"Staying like what?" Lucky prodded as gently as he could. "You can't even say it."

"Say what?"

"Robin is a vegetable. She died when her head connected…"

His words buffeted her heart and she hardened her eyes, refusing to fall. "That's a horrible thing to say to a mother!"

"It's the truth," Lucky managed as his voice began to crack. He sniffled, shoving down the tears that had began to choke him. "I'm sorry."

No one had noticed Dr. Harmon slice through the wall standing between reality and dream until the middle-aged surgeon had cleared her throat. Six pairs of Novak eyes clamped down on her, begging her to guide one to the other.

"We've decided to move Robin out of ICU to a regular room in the pediatric ward," she announced. "She'll be moved tomorrow morning."

_The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone_

_I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home_

* * *

**A/N: **The lyrics are by Lifehouse and the song is "Broken". I'm not the biggest Lifehouse fan, but I thought the song fit.

And on a random not, I'm in the process of editing all the previous chapters. Chapters one through five was been patched up and the rest will follow soon. For those that were annoyed or put off by my embarrassing litany of grammatical and syntax errors, you're welcome to re-read the edited versions.

As always, thank you for reading. I love it when you do.

**Next Up: **Dr. Harmon further discusses Robin's condition. Jason is allowed to visit Robin. Charlie visits Casey.


	16. Cry

**A/N: **This is the fastest I've ever updated. I think it's because you guys are probably going to be mad at me after this chapter…

I sent you all review replies, so check your e-mails! Of course, thank you to everyone who follows the story from afar.

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen: Cry**

_Do you see the truth through all their lies?_

"Robin's getting better," the relief was written on Casey's beaming face. She extended a warm smile to everyone in the room. "She's getting stronger…"

Lowering her head, the doctor sighed deeply and gently moved to the young mother's side. "Maybe you should have a seat…"

Casey made a clucking sound deep in her throat, her mouth bending into a frown. She took a few steps towards Robin's bed, stopping suddenly, her body swaying. "I'm fine," she said woodenly, without bothering to turn around.

"Maybe we should all sit down," Lillian suggested, concerned by her daughter's sudden pallor.

"I'd better get back to the squad room," Olivia offered the only thing she thought was right. She brushed a supportive hand across Casey's shoulder. "Call if you need anything."

The detective stole a glance at Lucky as she moved for the door. Oddly saddened by the disappointment that roiled in his eyes, Olivia tumbled out of the room. Casey, who had found the courage to turn around, silently chastised the detective for her feeble attempt to interpose between she and Lucky. Of course she wouldn't admit it aloud, but she was somewhat chastened by her recent conversation with Olivia. Though as Dr. Harmon parted the room, Casey knew that her newfound resolve was breaking,

"Robin's condition is stable. She's breathing on her own and her vitals are good. She doesn't need the tedious monitoring of ICU."

"Because she's getting better," the conviction in her voice, sharp as a saw's teeth, tried its best to slice through the doubt that thickened the room's air.

"That's not what she said," Lucky whispered. His countenance was stern, but his voice was gentle.

"You know what, I've really had all I can take from you…"

"Casey, this isn't helping anyone, least of all Robin," Lillian warned, almost shocked by the merciless contempt scribbled on her youngest child's face.

Casey nodded curtly, signaling for the doctor to continue.

"Robin's brainstem is relatively intact. Since the brainstem is the hub of our vegetative functions, Robin doesn't need any life sustaining equipment other than a feeding tube. Now, we'll continue to keep Robin on Osmitrol to increase cerebral blood flow and oxygen delivery. She'll also remain on an antiepileptic to help prevent posttraumatic seizures."

"Is there any brain activity?" Casey rasped, pleading almost.

"You daughter's most recent PET scan found residual cognitive function. She does respond to noxious somatosensory stimuli, or severe pain. However that was an isolated incident and is separate from her lack of higher brain function."

"What…what exactly does this mean? Are you telling me Robin isn't going to wake up?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying. I won't rule out the possibility, but it is far fetched. There are several experimental treatments available and my staff and I are more than willing to evaluate Robin's candidacy for those studies. In the meantime, we'll be moving Robin and you and your family can research her long term—"

"No!" Casey shouted, causing everyone to take a few steps back, except Dr. Harmon, who had navigated through those uncharted waters for many years. A haunted expression devoured the mother's face. With a well-rehearsed shake of her head, Casey Novak swallowed hard and gripped onto control, exercising the formidable iron will that was the root of her valor. Her voice was quiet, but her words were fierce. "I'm not ready for that yet."

Dr. Harmon nodded her understanding and moved for the door. "I'll get started on those evaluations."

"Casey…" Lucky wrapped his arm around his little sister's shoulder, half surprised that she welcomed his touch. "I'm sorry…"

A collective burst of shock was felt when her tears came. She shook quickly, like a wounded animal that couldn't bring itself to die. The sobs came slowly, like drops of acid, thick and lethal.

Lucky held his sister as she cried, absorbing her crackled sobs. It didn't last long. She silently pulled away and resumed her vigil at her daughter's bedside. Lillian wished her daughter had taken more time, that life had the decency to give her some.

Life, confident and enigmatic, fluctuated as the orderlies and nurses removed Robin's tubes and prepared her to be moved. Lucky and her mother insisted that she meet Robin in her new room, but Casey found her feet rooted to the floor, watching as a lifetime of possibilities and endings poured from the room as the orderlies wheeled the little girl away.

Casey surveyed the room. Cruel emptiness and the illogical tapping of her feet filled it. The baseball posters, once a tribute to her daughter's wildest dreams, now seemed to leer like ghostly eyes from the walls. Something was hammering at her resolve and as she looked up to find the smiling eyes of Robin's most recent school picture drilling into her like heated needles, she instantly knew everything was breaking.

She swore loudly as the picture frame that held Robin's photograph lay in the middle of the floor, shattered. She didn't even remember throwing it. She released a sardonic laugh. She was losing it, she realized as she bent down to pull her little girl from the wreckage.

_Do you see the world through troubled eyes?_

* * *

Four days later, the sun seeped through the skeletal trees outside of Robin's new room. Robin's eyes remained closed the entire time and the sounds from her monitors held no signs of change. Various visitors had peaked in, each offering some sort of advice. The nurses in the pediatric ward were much more receptive. Some even talked to Robin while they were checking her vitals. Their fragments of compassion, dutiful as they were, reminded Casey that what she was doing was right.

Jason Hunter arrived carrying a catcher's mitt shaped balloon and an optimistic smile. A thoughtful boy with quiet blue eyes and light brown hair, Jason threw his arms around Casey's waist the moment she stepped out to greet him. He was surprisingly strong, nearly squeezing the breath out of her, but she didn't complain. She just hugged him in return, remembering how Robin would do the same thing.

"Can she hear me?" Jason asked as she led him into Robin's room. He had insisted his parents wait outside, that he had Casey. He approached her bed slowly, his hands bulging from the pockets of his cargo shorts. He paused, suddenly wary. "The tubes, Mama Linda explained them to me, but I still don't like them."

"Neither do I," Casey admitted, lifting the pink pitcher on Robin's nightstand. She poured the boy a cup of water and thrust it into his hands. "But then I remember, as scary as they are, they're helping her stay with us. And as for Robin being able to hear us, the doctors aren't really sure because Robin can't make her body tell us. I think she can hear us and it helps her to know that all the people who love her come to visit."

"Mama Jane says Robin's brain doesn't have enough energy to do what mine does," Jason said, settling in his chair and taking a swig of water.

"Think of Robin's brain like a battery. Right now it doesn't have enough of a charge to work properly, but given a little time, her brain will be able to power the rest of her body."

He nodded. "Is she ever going to come back?"

"I hope so," Casey answered quietly.

"You know, Robin and I got into a fight," Jason leaned over and began tying the balloon to Robin's bedpost. "I told Brandon some secrets about her dad. The day of her accident, she said she wasn't ready to forgive me. That's the last thing she said to me."

Casey was silent, unsure how to proceed.

Jason continued, his thoughts unwavering. "Mama Jane said people who love each other fight all the time. It's normal. Robin and I had more good times than bad. Like this one time: a fifth grader was picking on me because I was small. Robin taught me how to make a slingshot and we flung bubblegum balls into the boy's head. There was so much gum in his hair that he had to shave it all off! Robin said he looked like a newborn rat."

Casey chuckled, wondering where her kid learned how to make a slingshot.

"I thought I was a bad friend. I saw Robin get in the car with her dad and I saw that she didn't wanna go, but I didn't say anything."

Casey stopped breathing. _She didn't want to? Charlie never mentioned that._

"You probably think that you're a bad mom because you weren't there," he looked up at her briefly, and then drifted into silence, taking Robin's hand into his own. Allowing himself a sigh, he continued. "You're not. Robin knew you couldn't always be there and she loved you anyway. She talked about you all the time, more than baseball."

"She did?"

He nodded, grinning. "Yup!" he fiddled with her hand for a minute. "You know, Robin and me are probably gonna be friends 'til we're old. That's why it's stupid to only remember the bad times. Mama Linda told me to pick a happy memory of Robin and keep her that way. Maybe you should do that."

"Mama Linda's a wise woman."

"Is Robin in any pain?" Jason asked.

"She can feel some pain, but not a lot."

"Then maybe where she is isn't so scary. If it isn't scary for her, it shouldn't be scary for us."

She just stared at the boy for a few long moments, her brain swaying from the kaleidoscopic waves of emotions moving around her mind.

"My parents told me not to stay long, but do you think I could come back some time?"

"Of course," she said, finally trusting her voice. "Robin loves you. You're welcome here anytime."

"Thanks," he eased up from the chair and moved for the door. "The kids in our school made Robin a card. I'll bring it next week. Everybody misses her, especially our baseball coach. The new catcher's afraid of his own shadow. Even Brandon said Robin's our best catcher."

"I'll tell her that," Casey laughed, ruffling his hair.

"That'll wake her up. She'd sell you for a chance to rub that in my cousin's face."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Patting his shoulder a final time, Casey finally saw what Robin did.

_Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,_

_I'm a friend._

* * *

_Do you see my guilt? Should I feel fright?_

_Is the fire of hesitation burning bright?_

It was still dark when Casey Novak tumbled from the couch, still in yesterday's clothes, absently grasping at the ringing telephone. She shouted at the ringing, suddenly more subdued, before realizing it was the television. It was still dark, save for the muffled blue light pulsating from the television. Her mouth was dry. Surprisingly, she was still drunk. She glanced at the empty bottle of tequila on the coffee table, watching as her problems temporarily danced inside it.

As she staggered into her kitchen in search of another bottle, Casey realized she shouldn't have come home. The place was infested with memories. They blighted the room and poured from the walls. Casey confessed to her liquid confidant of sleepless nights clouded with shame and guilt. Robin's ashen face, covered in a mantle of tubes, mingled in with the happier times until her mind rattled with panic attacks. She consumed a prodigious amount of alcohol in the eight hours she had been alone. She would scrub her memory until it was raw, trying hard to keep herself together.

He didn't even hear her front door open.

She stood there for a moment, taking in the father of her child He looked tired and worn. Old. He started talking to her. Apparently he was devastated by what had happened, especially since he hadn't gotten a chance to know Robin. He reined it in quick and in a hurry when he realized they weren't in the same place.

For his sake, she unscrewed the top to the tequila and took a vulgar swig. Casey closed her eyes and allowed herself a long, hard breath. Exhaling slowly, she rang her hands. "Whatever it is, I don't care."

_I have seen fear. I have seen faith._

_Seen the look of anger on your face._

He surveyed the damage with wary eyes, his courage withering. He smiles nonetheless, helping himself to a glass of water. Casey found herself thankful he didn't go for the booze.

"How'd you get in here?"

"It always helps when you leave the door unlocked."

"Yeah, well, how'd you know I was here?"

"Lukas told me."

She raked him with an incredulous glance. "Lucky wouldn't spit on fire to put you out."

"Whelp, he lent his saliva to keep the flames at bay—temporarily anyway," shaking his head at her lack of confidence in him, he shrugged. "I overheard him when I stopped by the hospital."

"You aren't allowed at the hospital," she reminded him darkly.

"I know you're in pain and I respect your grief, but I need to see her too. I need her to know that I haven't left her. She's my daughter too."

"We don't have a daughter. She's gone and she's never coming back."

"You don't honestly believe that."

"Doesn't matter what I believe. Doctors say it's almost impossible."

"They've been wrong before. I've done research…"

"Why. Are. You. _Here?_" she managed through gritted teeth.

He stole further into the room and before any of them could stop him, he grabbed the bottle from her hand and hurled it against the wall. "You think _this_ is helping? You think this'll bring Robin back?"

Their daughter's name on his lips shoved against her resolve. Straightening herself, she stiffened her spine and fixed with him a noxious glare. "No I don't. Get out."

"This isn't stop of the line anesthesia, Casey."

"And you would know."

"I would," the darkness in his voice startled her. She took a few steps back, much to his dismay. "It's like picking a scab as soon as it grows in. No matter how hammered you get or how many memories you shatter, those last words and last tears will continue to stab at your heart like spears until you process them."

"And how do you intend on processing Robin, huh? Jason told me that you forced her into your car, that she was scared…"

"Visiting Robin will help me," he said softly.

"No, it'll enable you. You'll look at her and you'll convince yourself that she'll forgive you. When you hear the doctors try to assuage your guilt by saying she can barely feel pain, you'll force yourself to make that mean she's all right. And every time you close your eyes you'll remember that the last thing she felt was fear and you were so busy saving other people's children, that when in mattered the most, you couldn't save yours."

"We're not talking about me, are we?"

The pain splattered onto her face in an instant and she lifted the bottle to her lips, willing it to assuage it all. "Get out!"

"Casey, she loved you. When we were driving, all she could think about was worrying you. She wouldn't want you carrying on like this."

"I should've been there."

"In her mind, you were. You still are."

To her horror Casey felt the tears sting at her eyes. Nobody should have to live that way, to have every fiber of their being so violently ripped away. She was barely through elementary school, barely alive. She spent her last waking moments afraid and in pain. Her only child was savagely consumed by the frenzy of fate. Robin's memory clawed at her mother's sanity, leaving a mound of regret.

Charlie simply held her as she cried her heart out. As he tenderly stroked her hair, she leaned in to kiss him. She's only doing this to upstage her pain. She was only reaching out for humanity as she ripped open his shirt and tugged at his jeans. That was all right, wasn't it? To seek life where there was none?

_And if you want to talk about it anymore,_

_Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,_

_I'm a friend._

* * *

He was gone when she awoke to the sound of the telephone screaming in her ear. She wanted time to feel disgusted or even to acknowledge the hangover rumbling through every bone in her body.

Instead, Casey grabbed her coat and headed for One Police Plaza. Seemed as though the detectives were about to confirm her darkest suspicions. She had just slept with the man who had stolen her child.

* * *

**A/N:** Before you guys start throwing stones at me, I had my reasons. They're good, too. Honest! Please be kind, I'm can be sensitive. :-)

The lyrics in this chapter are by James Blunt and the song is "Cry". It's on his first (mainstream) album.

The next update won't come for a while. I'm going out of town and won't have time to write. If the urge comes though, I'll definitely update.

And speaking of the next chapter, I really want to include Mike Logan and his partner Megan Wheeler. I love them. I know Mike didn't join Major Case until September 2005 (months after this timeline: we're in late May of '05) and Megan didn't show her face until the same time the following year. My question is: would it bother you all if I pulled a super fan wank and shook the hands of time? Please let me know, you're feedback is really needed.


	17. Antibiosis

**A/N: **It's that time again folks. I said I wasn't going to update for a minute, but I lied. I'm stuck with gobs of family members and I needed a break! Bad!

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. I'll be sending review replies tomorrow, so please be on the look out.

I'd like to extend my thanks to everybody who offered their opinions about me twiddling my fingers in the abounding river of time. With that said, I decided to include Logan and Wheeler. As fair warning, I don't know if they're in character as I'm still learning how to write them. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to toss them at me.

And so, on with…

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: Antibiosis**

_I've this creeping, suspicion that things here are not as they seem._

_Reassure me, oh why do I feel as if I'm in too deep._

_Now I've been praying, for some way to show them I'm not what they see._

_Yes I have done wrong, but what I did I thought needed be done, I swear_

.

She was fresh-faced, a splatter of freckles like nutmeg dusting her cheeks and nose. Her short hair was the color of a ton of bricks, her eyes hard as jade. Detective Mike Logan half admired the woman who seemed too comfortable in his partner's chair, taking notes on his partner's desk, her pale ear pressed against the black telephone receiver his partner always used.

Frowning, he took the pile of interview reports and phone-message slips the desk sergeant left out for him. The captain, who was puttering around with the coffee maker, offered, "Have you met your new partner?"

Logan shot Deakins a dubious look. "Where's Barek?"

"Family emergency," Deakins took a sip from his cup and scowled at the bitter taste. "She'll be gone a few weeks. Wheeler's your partner until she comes back. The Joint Task Force was nice enough to loan her out. Her captain, Danny Ross, is a friend of mine so play nice."

Shaking his head, Logan scoffed. "She hasn't even gone through puberty."

Deakins tut-tutted. A smirk spread over his face like a stain as he waved his finger. "Do I detect a note of adultism? Surely something so morally benighted wouldn't even occur to a champion of civil rights like yourself…"

Logan frowned and turned his back, watching as "Freckles" wrapped up her phone call. "How long 'til Barek comes back?"

"When whatever she's handling is handled," Deakins said blandly. "Now, are you going to mope like a boy who's lost his puppy or are you planning on doing your job?"

Logan tossed the files on his desk and eased into his chair. Putting his feet up, he leaned back, getting comfortable for what he believed was going to be a long, interesting couple of weeks.

Her gaze jumped over his shiny leather shoes, utterly unimpressed. She extended a small hand. Her smile was business like, efficient almost to the point of disregard. "I'm Detective Megan Wheeler."

"How do you do?" he shook her hand. At least it was warm. "Mike Logan. Joint Task Force, right? The money laundering division?"

She nodded. "Two years."

"Impressive," he grinned, finally getting around to removing his feet. "So, what was the phone call about?"

"The Katsaros Case. Ballistics came back on the shell casings found at the scene of the accident. Turns out it's a cold match to a colder case. They're from the same gun used to murder Darren and Glenys Zambrano and their three kids."

"The Zambrano case…why is that so familiar?" he took a sip of his coffee and ran his fingers through his hair. He snapped his fingers, grimacing as the memory finally dawned on him. "The husband was a high school history teacher and a wife was a homemaker. Somebody murdered the whole family, including a six month old baby…"

"I've gone through Katsaros' past with a fine tooth comb. Born and raised in Queens. Went to law school at NYU, but dropped out. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia in early 1997 and then he dropped off the radar for a few years. He spent two years in an institution in California, started a family, and established a life. He recently moved back to Queens. He and his family are living with his parents."

"So, what does the poster boy for antipsychotics have in common with an all American family like the Zambranos?"

"Take a look at this," Wheeler turned her laptop to face him. "Looks like Katsaros has a big brother."

"And big brother's a very bad boy. Seems as though Conrad Katsaros is a non-stick skillet. He's been brought up on two murder charges and neither of which saw a courtroom. Conveniently, some eager sap confessed and was all too willing to ride the beef. You think taking out Charles and his kid were messages to Conrad?"

"The shoe could fit more than one foot," Wheeler rung her hands. "We dig into the Zambranos' past, we get our shooter."

--

"How's your daughter?" the voice crackled.

A brief silence went by as Charles Katsaros adjusted the telephone. Charlie was not surprised to hear from him, but that it had taken so long for him to call.

"She's fine."

"That's not what I heard. It's almost like her body is a shrine to her memory, isn't it? It must turn your mind inside out when you watch her chest rise and fall, knowing that it means absolutely nothing. Your little girl is too dead to be alive and too alive for you to let her die. Her fate is ambiguous, is it not? Not unlike your own."

"Haven't I done enough for you?" he demanded, his teeth coming together in a livid grind.

"On the contrary. My resources are dwindling, resources that you were once in charge of. That upsets me. You have business to attend to, I trust, with all that is at stake, that I have your compliance."

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?" he spat.

"Two weeks, Mr. Katsaros. That's as generous as I wish to be."

There wasn't enough air. His chest was burning. Searing jolts of resentment swam through out his body until he was dazed with rage. The phone hit the wall, exploding into half a dozen pieces. He started to pace the room, but he stopped as though he were bored. He blinked. He twitched. He walked again.

The voice was soft at first, welcoming even. Then it was forceful. Fear nestled against the high-pitched pattern as it got louder and louder. His head was bouncing like a puppet's and when he looked up, he realized his rope had broken.

"Charlie…?"

Her big brown eyes were sorrowful and pleading. Didn't she know he was crashing? Of course she did! Krista had developed a knack for intuiting when he succumbed to his penchant for failure.

However, she was real. She was right there, watching and hoping. He brought his hand to her cheek, comforted by the fact that she wasn't alive and well in his head.

She tilted her head, taking in the fragments of Charlie's cell phone. "What happened?"

"I was angry."

"Good thing we have insurance."

He nodded and moved over to the bed. He had made himself at home in Robin's room. Nobody questioned it, but his mother let on that she didn't agree. Nevertheless, he stayed there, only coming out to pretend to be human.

"Taylor and Chuckie are asking questions."

"About…"

"Why you're hiding, why you weren't home for dinner last night."

"Are these their questions?"

"And mine," she admitted. "I'm worried about you. I was worried sick last night when you didn't come home. After everything that's happened, I would think that you would be a tad more cautious."

"I was safe."

"What was so important…?

"Robin was important, all right?" Charlie sighed, groaning as he fell onto the bed. "I went to the hospital to try and reason with Casey."

"And that took fourteen hours?" his wife asked incredulously. She stooped to join him on the bed, but stopped when she realized Robin's scent still lingered.

"Her brother talked her into going home," Charlie shrugged, all innocence. "I stopped by there and we talked for awhile. When I realized she wasn't going to budge on visitation, I left and drove around to clear my mind."

"If you were any more full of shit, your eyes would be brown," Krista snapped, goaded. "What am I supposed to think, Charlie? You admitted to being in love with her. You're gone for hours, most of that time you spent with someone you recently tried to sleep with. I don't know, maybe my trust in you is just a _little _bit fragile."

"If that's what you wanna take away from this conversation, help yourself. In the meantime, please close the door—preferably with you on the other side of it—I would like to get some sleep."

"Do I even _matter _to you?" Her voice trembled for the first time in awhile and Charlie found himself in a state of shock. "Contrary to popular belief, I have feelings and many of them are for you. Did you honestly think that you could marry me and use me as an emotional punching bag, only to throw me away when the _real_ woman you love decides to take you back? Do your _other _children matter? Remember them? Unfortunately for them, they're still under the impression that you give a damn. What are they gonna do when they realize all of this was your way of getting between your ex-fiancé's legs?"

He could taste the smoke on his tongue as the angry flames of his past licked at his self-control, as everything he had learned pooled at his feet. The rage, the confusion, the desire to make everything inside of him intelligible—all stampeded into the limelight. Krista recognized his sudden leap in time, but she wasn't fast enough. He was on her in an instant, his left hand like a vise around her throat. He pinned her to the wall, restraining her petite body with her own arms.

She was so light, so soft. As her brown eyes widened, no doubt from lack of air, he realized how much she looked like Taylor and in that realization, he remembered who he was holding. He remembered right from wrong. He remembered to let them both breathe.

"I'm sorry."

Silence. Vicious silence.

"I'm risking so much for you and our family. Please don't insult me by suggesting anything else."

And then he left her there, wondering what he was talking about.

* * *

"I'm sorry I didn't come in when you called," Casey Novak closed the door to her daughter's hospital room quickly behind her before leaning against it. Though she'd never admit it aloud, being in the hallway brought a mild form of relief. Not calm or peaceful, but the bright lights offered a respite from the howling machines and uncertainty. "Robin had a mild seizure this morning. I was on my way to you when my brother called."

"How's she doing?" Logan asked. Through the observation window he watched as a nurse changed Robin's IV.

"They upped her seizure medication and she's now under constant observation. Thankfully, there was no additional brain damage."

Wheeler nodded, pulling out her notebook and flipped a few pages. "If you have a moment, we'd like to ask you a few questions about Robin's father."

Casey cringed at the mention of Charlie's name. Fragmentary memories of the previous night began trickling into focus, leaving a virulent taste in her mouth. She swallowed, shifting her weight. "Sure. Anything I can do to help."

"Do you know anything about Charles' life in California?" Logan asked.

"Not much. He's been there a little over four years. He mentioned something about his wife getting him a job at a local free clinic. He's a medical assistant."

"Did he discuss why he left?"

She shook her head. "He says he came back to be closer to Robin."

"And you don't believe that?" Wheeler arched her brow.

"I wouldn't go that far. I don't doubt that he loves Robin, but from what I gather Charlie had a life and apparently it was a great one. After spending almost six years on the other side of the country he clicks his heels and comes home with little explanation as to why…"

"And in the midst of all these suspicions, you allowed him to have visitation?" his tone wasn't accusatory, just inauspicious.

Casey glanced at Logan defensively. "Charlie never had any legal visitation rights. I offered him supervised visits at his parent's house because Robin's there while I'm at work."

Wheeler glanced at her partner out of the corner of her eye and went on gently: "Was he upset about that?"

"More offended than…" Casey stopped suddenly. Running her tongue against her teeth with frustration, she speared her hands through her hair. "Are you telling me that Charlie kidnapped Robin because he was upset about his visitation rights? Then coincidently while on the run, somebody decides to murder them in cold blood? You're the Major Case Squad, I've seen Lifetime movies come up with more depth."

"We didn't come here to upset you," Wheeler offered.

"Then stop dicking me around and level with me! Is Charlie a suspect?"

"We're treating your daughter's case as an attempted homicide. That means her father is a victim too. He's also our only witness. The more we know about him and the people around him…"

"What people?" Casey interrupted.

"His brother, Conrad Katsaros?"

"Connie? You think Connie's involved?"

"Why's that so hard to believe?" Logan questioned.

"I didn't say it was. I never met Connie and he was always a sore subject for Charlie's family. Is he in some kind of trouble? Did he do this?"

"Conrad appears to have some ties to organized crime, ties we're investigating."

"But that doesn't explain why Charlie grabbed my daughter," Casey sighed. "Unless…"

"Did Charlie say anything that would suggest anything?"

She nodded without looking up at Logan. "I went to visit him the day they were admitted. He was extremely defensive to the point of coming off as phlegmatic. He even requested a lawyer. And the other day when Robin's best-friend was visiting, he mentioned seeing Charlie force Robin to come with him…"

"Looks like our demented soccer dad was running. I wonder if he'll be kind enough to tell us what inspired him to fly fancy-free? Guess there's only one way to find out," reaching out; Logan placed a hesitant, but comforting hand on the ADA's shoulder. "Thank you for all your help. You have my word, we're putting our best into this."

She nodded her thanks and watched as the detectives receded into the bright lights.

* * *

"_Maybe we should take a break," Casey looked down at Robin's scraped knees and torn shorts. "We can practice riding another day."_

"_No," Robin shook her head. She adjusted the straps on her helmet before gripping the handlebars of her bicycle. "Gimme a push!"_

_Casey shook her head at her five-year-old daughter. Two hours and a half empty box of Band-Aids later, Robin was still hell-bent on riding her bike without training wheels. She would fall and get back up, complaints and tears few and far in between. Normally Casey would be glowing with pride in her daughter's discipline and determination, but it was over ninety degrees and shade was a precious commodity._

"_Fine, but after this, we eat!"_

"_Deal."_

"_Is your helmet tight?"_

"_Check!"_

"_Are your hands holding the handlebars as tight as they can?"_

"_Check!"_

"_Then prepare for lift off!"_

_Running at top speed, Casey gripped the back of the seat and pushed it into motion. Robin was squealing, her curls waltzing in the wind. And as she felt the leather seat slip away from her finger, Casey realized she couldn't keep up. Robin was on her own and she was leaving her mother behind._

_So, Casey did the only thing she could. "Pedal! Don't stop pedaling!"_

She hadn't realized she'd fallen asleep, with her cheek against her arm, until she felt a hand on her shoulder. She yawned, massaging the crook out of her neck. She looked up and focused, expecting Lucky or one of the nurses. Instead, the faint light gave away the worried face of Detective Elliot Stabler.

"Sorry for waking you."

"S'okay," she stretched and sat up, much to the dismay of her sore neck. "What do you need?"

A look of hurt flickered across his face, but it was gone before she could really notice it. "I thought you could use a little support."

"If by support you mean coercing me into agreeing to move my daughter into a pediatric nursing home, then you can leave now and pretend you never came."

He shook his head and glanced at Robin. She almost looked asleep. "No. It's not my job to tell you what to do. This is your decision."

"Why do I sense a 'but' coming?"

"No, no 'buts'. Just the truth."

"If she were yours, what would you do?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly. He narrowed his eyes, trying to imagine. "Sometimes it's hard being a parent. Sometimes you gotta love your kids, even when it hurts like hell."

"I can't imagine my life without her," she said softly, reaching over and brushing a stray curl out of Robin's closed eyes.

"I'm not the best person to ask about this, but," he reached into the pocket of his slacks and produced a tiny slip of yellow paper. "But maybe she can help."

She took the piece of paper and studied the name. "You're serious?"

"Right now, the two of you have a lot in common. She knows how difficult this is and I think she can help," he smiled and gave her shoulder a squeeze. "I have to get back to the precinct but if you need anything you know we're all behind you."

She said nothing as he moved for the door, her focus solely on the paper in her hands. At the last minute she looked up. Clearing her throat, she managed a small smile. "Thanks, Elliot."

He nodded, softly shutting the door behind him.

* * *

**Next Up: **Logan and Wheeler question Charlie. Casey seeks advice from an unlikely source. A decision is made**.**

**A/N: **The final part of this chapter and part of the next is dedicated to the lovely **TVCrazed** for suggesting that I bring in Elliot. That really got an idea rolling around in my head and helped me move the story along. So, yay to you!

We're getting close to the end folks, about three or four chapters to go. I'm working on a plot for the sequel. If you care about it, you can check my profile for more information. I can't tell you guys too much about it until this story is finished, but I'll keep you updated.

And on a side note, turns out I've been screwing with canon time all along. I re-watched _Night_ and while the show _aired_ in May, the episode itself took place in March. Normally I'd just say all of this is taking place in March, but Robin and Casey celebrated Mother's Day (which is in May). I am so not about to change the day of maternal canonization. Isn't that illegal?

As always, thank you for reading people. You all make this story worth writing.

Oh, almost forgot, the lyrics in this chapter are by The Dave Mathew's Band and the song is "The Stone."


	18. Vis a Vis

**A/N: **So, it's that time again! This chapter was a little hard to write, seeing as most of it was written in a hospital delivery room. Which brings me to this chapter's dedication:

My first great-nephew was born early this morning on July 18th, 2008. 8lbs 9oz. He's two weeks early, but we're glad he's here. So, this chapter is dedicated to little Johannes (for his father, Johan) Antonio (and for his grandfather, my brother)! Welcome to the world Baldy! (I'll be posting a picture of him soon, I'll let you know when I do)

I sent you all review replies, so I hope you got them. As always, thank you to everyone who has this story on their alert list and to those who follow the story from afar.

We're getting close to the end folks…

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen: Vis-à-Vis**

_When you, when you forget your name_

_When old faces all look the same_

_Bitter and hardened heart_

_Aching, waiting for life to start_

"I don't understand why I had to come all the way down here," Charlie huffed as he eased into one of the cold metal chairs. He folded his hands on the table and leaned forward, his eyes darting like a snake's tongue. "You all could've stopped by my house."

"Well," Logan grinned and shut the door to the sparsely furnished interrogation room. He pulled up a chair and sat backwards, legs spread, leaning his elbows across its back. "I hear you suffer from selective amnesia and it's only curable when you have a lawyer present. So, I figured, why not try to be accommodating. And since traffic is a bitch at this hour, I thought you could return the favor by schlepping into the city for a little conversation."

"And I'm sure you didn't call us down here for nothing," Wiley Thornton, Charlie's attorney, returned the detective's small smile. "We'd be much obliged if you would respect our time and get to the point."

"Very well. Mr. Katsaros, care to explain why somebody wants you to take a dirt nap?"

"I have no idea," he shrugged and picked up his lawyer's pen, twirled it between his fingers.

"Are you saying this was a random act of violence?" Logan arched his brow, a skeptical smile gyrated on his lips.

"No," Charlie looked up from his newfound toy. His blue eyes were blank, like a window with drawn blinds. "That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I have no idea why somebody wants me dead."

"But you did know that your life was in danger."

"Can't say that I did."

"Of course you can't Chuck because that would imply that you were running from someone, the same someone who wants to eighty-six you. And that would make you a liar and you know the old adage, 'if you'll lie you'll steal and if you'll steal you'll kill.' And if you'll kill, then you're more like your big bad brother. Is that what happened, Charlie? Huh? Played with the fire that is your brother's life and got burned?"

"Bravo Detective! Bravo!" Thornton applauded, a plodding smug spread across his face. "You sure can weave a tale but it looks as though you can't weave a case."

"Case?" Logan turned up his hands and shrugged. "Nobody's charging your client with anything. This is just a conversation."

"Sounds like a monologue to me," Charlie said, his voice flat as a pane of glass.

"I'd consider this a platonic dialogue. One of your fellow Greeks, Plato, wrote a whole series of dialogues between Socrates and another individual. The common thread was disagreement. The whole purpose was to resolve said disagreement."

"If I remember correctly," Charlie straightened in his chair and begun playing with the pen again. "Socrates used the conversation as a manipulation tactic. He would probe until he found a discrepancy in the other fellow's logic and then miraculously the other guy would see the error in his ways."

"So, with that in mind, lets run over the key points of your statement. You and your daughter were randomly attacked in your car. You have no idea why someone would want you dead. I mean, come on. Witnesses at Robin's school say they saw you force her into your car. You aren't allowed unsupervised visits, conditions you had been upholding until the day of the accident…"

"I wanted to take a road trip with my daughter. I recently got back into her life and I wanted to spend some real time with her."

"And you need a week's worth of clothes for a day long road trip?"

"I was taking them to the cleaners."

"Sixty miles from your home?"

"Asked and answered Detective," Thornton chastised. "Move along."

"Preparing for trial?"

"Preparing for another ten years of watching the ships roll in?"

Logan cleared his throat. "Okay, how about this one: why'd you leave California?"

"Needed a change of scenery. I missed home, my family. Wanted to get to know the little girl I left behind."

"So you pack up your other children in the middle of the school year and move half way across the country? That's real Ward Cleaver of you."

"Sacrifices have to be made."

"Sacrifices like protecting the people who put your daughter in a permanent coma?"

"What are you trying to say?" Charlie asked coldly, smacking the pen onto the table.

"I'm not _trying_ to say a damn thing! The more you stall, the harder it'll be for us to catch the people who did this to you and your daughter. You have some answers, answers we need to do our jobs."

"If I thought I could help, don't you think I would?"

"No," Logan hissed. "I think you would do anything to save your own skin. I think you don't want what happened to the Zambranos to happen to you."

"The who?"

"These people," Logan reached behind his back and tossed a manila folder onto the table, glossy black and white photographs spilling from it.

There were no arms. The mother, the father, the two little boys, and the baby girl were all armless. Blood soaked rope confined their legs, tiny bullet wounds like peepholes dotted their foreheads, all lined up and even. The blood, the mangled bodies, the savagery all made Charlie want to throw up. However that would give them what they wanted and he couldn't risk that. He'd come too far.

"What does that have to do with my client?" Thornton asked, pushing the folder and its graphic contents back towards the detective.

"They were murdered in the fall of 1999. No clues. Cold case. Until ballistics came back on the shell casings recovered from your client's accident. They were match to the gun that murdered Darren, Glenys, Dylan, Dyfed, and Delia Zambrano. Who's ever after you tortured and executed this entire family, including a six-month-old baby! Do you honestly think they'll stop with Robin? What about your other two children? What about your wife? Don't you want to protect the other members of your family?"

Charlie was silent for a beat. He retrieved the pen and began fiddling with it again, all the while rocking himself like a colicky baby. Pressing the cool metal of the top to his lips, he sighed.

"One of the meanings of the word _platonic _is: confined to words, theories, or ideals, and not leading to practical actions. Platonic dialogues often end without a final resolution," standing up, Charlie pushed his chair in. "It was wonderful to meet you detective. Mr. Thornton, shall we?"

As Logan watched the boy genius with the scrambled mind and his mouthpiece glide out of the room on a current of superiority, he wondered if Charlie knew he had provided the ammunition Logan needed.

* * *

The bareness of the room was depressing with its spindled-legged orange chairs, high gray walls, and cold mental tables. The dim lights and thick, acrid cigarette smoke, cast a blanket of doubt and unease. As Casey Novak settled into the hard chair, she wondered if she was right in coming.

Casey watched with a flutter of anxiety as the woman of the hour was escorted into the room. She had lost weight, her cheeks dark and sunken. Her eyes evinced nothing. Eyes that had seemed passionate, now looked like gray stones lying inert in a sea of white. She walked with the gait of a lethargic cat, like she was in pain but didn't care.

Casey stood to greet the woman. She jumped slightly, as if the small gesture of humanity was foreign. Both women nodded absently as the monotonous voice rattled off the list of rules and regulations. The ball and chain disappeared, the woman of the hour moved her wrists as if they had been revived.

"I didn't think you'd come," Evelyn Pritchard said. Her eyes darted about the room like a cornered rabbit, already searching for avenues of escape. "Don't know why you even bothered."

"Yeah, well, that's another thing we have in common," Casey shrugged, running her pale fingers across the edge of the table. "Elliot thinks we're a match in parental advice heaven."

Evelyn gave a jarring laugh. "What exactly can I help you with Ms. Novak? Detective Stabler assured me that I didn't need my lawyer present, but that desperate look in your eye has me slightly nervous."

Casey sighed, sifting her fingers through her hair. She groaned, realizing how dry it was. Glancing down at the table, she realized her roots were showing, She looked more scattered than she thought.

"I didn't come here as an ADA," she looked up, her voice hesitant and twitching as she spoke. "I came here as a mother."

Evelyn let the words sink in. Then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, she leaned back in her chair and threw her head back, a room-shattering laugh vibrated against the rock hard walls. Unfazed by Casey's cold stare or the agitated looks of the other prisoners and visitors, Evelyn continued to laugh until it was physically impossible.

Finally sobered, Evelyn pushed her oily brown hair from her eyes. "You did everything you could to make me look like Joan Crawford. I knew you didn't drive all the way up to Bedford Hills to admire your handiwork, but this? Oh, this is rich!"

"I have a seven year old daughter. Two weeks ago she and her father got into a car accident and she hit her head. She suffered an epidural hematoma and as a result, she's been in a persistent vegetative state."

Evelyn's smile faded, her posture straightening. "I'm…I'm sorry."

"I knew what to say to you on the stand, what would hurt the most because those same things hurt me. My daughter's grandparents put her to bed, make her breakfast, and clean her cuts. They're at her baseball games and take pictures at the science fair. And when she needed me most, I was at work, the place the always comes first."

After a thick silence, Evelyn shifted In her seat. She leaned forward, her voice gentle and almost trusting. "What do you want from me?"

"How did you do it? How _do _you do it? How were you able to let Lucy go, even when it ripped your heart out? How do you cope with starting your day with the knowledge that your daughter isn't there to share it with you?"

"It's not some tough equation that needs to be cracked, Ms. Novak. My baby was suffering and there was something I could do to help her, even if that help shattered my heart." The floodgates suddenly burst open and a year and a half's worth of grief and stress and confusion came billowing forward, thick tears pouring down her face.

"There's a difference," she sucked a gulp of the smoke infested air and continued. "I…I put Lucy in that bed. My actions led me to the decision I made. Your daughter's condition is not your fault. Blaming yourself won't heal her…or you."

"My family wants me to move her to a pediatric nursing home."

"And what's wrong…"

"What's wrong?" Casey interrupted hotly. "Dumping her in a home is like sending the message that I gave up on her, that's what's wrong!"

"No," Evelyn shook her head. "From what I remember, many of those homes provided state of the art care. They have private rooms and round the clock staff. They even provide physical therapy to keep her limbs supple, should she wake up."

"You sound like the brochures."

Evelyn smiled a bit. "That's probably because I read so many I practically memorized them. How…how long do they think Robin will live…in the vegetative state?"

Casey ran her hands over her eyes. "Years. You know, because she's so young. At least until an infection kills her or if she has one too many seizures."

"Do you really want her to suffer? It's always selfish in away, to keep hope alive while you're child is slowly dying. I'm not telling you to give up, but if these are your child's only days, shouldn't she spend them in a peaceful place?"

"_Attention: visiting hours are now over. I repeat: visiting hours are now over."_

Bidding their goodbyes, both mothers were dragged into the black pit of cause and effect. One, a guiding beacon of light to the other, struggled with the darkness of her own days. The other was thrust into a situation that would define the years to come.

* * *

"They know something," Charlie flicked his cigarette into the glass ashtray. He'd drive the three hours to his brother's house, seeking some sort of comfort.

Connie, however, was busy. "Goddamn son of a bitch, pass the ball!"

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Course I am! Said you think the brutal boys in blue know something. You got nothing to worry about, Little Brother. If they really knew something, you'd be grabbing your pretty little ankles at Rikers."

"Yeah, well, they told me about a cold case. They say I made it hot and by the looks of it, I'm about to be charred beyond recognition."

"O, sounds gruesome," Connie grinned, stuffing a handful of tortilla chips down his throat and washing it down with a swig of beer. "What case?"

"The Zambrano murders, happened in '99. Wacked the entire family. Cut off their arms and blew their brains out, including a baby. Know anything about it?"

Connie turned off the television and slowly sat his beer down on the coffee table. He glanced at his little brother out of the corner of his eye. "Pavel Kuzmin's after you? You'd better start talking and I mean right now. What the hell did you do to get somebody like that on your ass?"

* * *

"Thanks, you've been a really big help," Wheeler hung up the phone and stretched her fingers. She looked up to find her partner leaning back in his chair, feet up, finding paradise in a turkey sub. "Bring me anything?"

"What do you take me for?" he grinned, producing a BLT and a can of Coke from a brown paper bag. "You said cheese, right?"

She nodded, peeling open the white wrapper. She cocked her head. "You got American."

"And?"

"I wanted Swiss."

"What am I, Waiters on Wheels? Eat the Sandwich," he laughed, tossing her straw onto her desk. "You seem to do a lot of your detective work by telecommuting. Care to share the fruits of your labor?"

Wheeler nodded, taking a sip of her soda. "That was one of my DEA contacts. I was going through Charles' file and a red flag came up. Turns out the clinic where he was working is under investigation for prescription drug smuggling. Someone's been stealing drugs from the supply cabinets and then replacing them with placebos. When several patients came in complaining about the crappy meds and with untreated symptoms, an investigation was launched."

"And Katsaros is a suspect?"

"No, but he was questioned. Four days later, he was on a plane to New York."

"And the DEA just let him go?"

She shook her head. "No, they're watching him, hoping he'll lead them to the source."

"Oh, this is a thick one. Charlie's smuggling counterfeit drugs, no doubt turning one hell of a profit, and then when he's on the verge of getting busted, he and his family get the hell out of dodge. That must've made his connect very angry..."

"Angry enough to kill him."

"Now the question becomes: who's Charlie's connection and what do they have to do with the Zambranos?"

* * *

Detective Elliot Stabler was waiting outside Robin's hospital room when her mother arrived. He'd sat with the girl for a few minutes, while her uncle and grandmother found something to eat.

"I didn't know your daughter played for The Bulldogs," Elliot smiled, holding up one of Robin's baseball cards from the previous season. "My son played third base for them when he was her age."

"Small world. In the fall she'll be old enough for the travel team," her smile faded as she crossed the transom. She brought her hand to her mouth; suddenly feeling like she was going to be sick.

Casey felt her legs turn to water. The room was spinning and she could feel the linoleum floor rushing up to embrace her. As the blackness began to smother her, she thought she was going to hit her head.

When she opened her eyes, Elliot was kneeling in front of her, one hand on her shoulder and a cup of water in the other. "Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, handing her the pink cup.

She nodded. "Stress."

"Have you been eating?"

"Since when did you become a nutrition Nazi?"

"Dietary Detective is more like it," he chuckled, standing up. "And you didn't answer my question."

"Yeah, I eat," she groaned. "Can we change the subject?"

"Fine," he shot her another worried glance before shrugging. "So, how'd it go?"

"As well as swapping sob stories can, I guess. She knew what to say, how to say it. I'd be lying if I told you I trusted her, but she did help. Thank you for, you know, suggesting her."

He nodded. "You know, whatever decision you make, we're all behind you. Liv, Munch, Fin, Cragen…whenever you need to talk, we know how to listen."

She smiled genuinely. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

"It's just me and you Champ," she said when she heard the door close. She took her daughter's hand in her own as she brushed a few stubborn curls from the child's face. "I have to…I have to tell you something really, really important. The doctors don't think the hospital can give you everything you need to make you better. They have lots of nurses and doctors, but they have even more patients and some of those patients need a lot more attention than you. I found this place called Shady Creek and it's in Queens, not too far from your Yiayia's and Pappou's. They have lots of friendly nurses and doctors who are there to help kids just like you. They'll read to you and they'll talk to you, and they'll even let you know how the Yankees are doing."

"You'll get your own room, too. I'll bring your sheets and your posters and your toys. I'll come visit you all the time. So will Grandma Nana and Uncle Lucky. Yiayia and Pappou and your brother and sister and…"

Casey sighed, bringing her hands to her temple. It was so hard. It was always hard. "I know you were so excited about your daddy coming back. You guys got off to a really bumpy start, but he meant a lot to you. Even when he was sick, he wanted what was best for you so he stayed away. He wanted to protect you from his illness. Well now, Daddy's in big trouble and his life is too dangerous for you to be a part of right now. So Daddy's not going to be able to visit you at your new home. It's not because he doesn't love you or anything like that. Part of being a good parent is doing what's best for your kid, even if it's hard. That's why I'm going to let the doctors move you to Shady Creek, so they can make sure you're healthy and happy and that you don't have to be afraid."

And then time stopped. Robin was looking directly at her mother, a dim flame of life flicking in her eyes.

_If only I don't bend, and break_

_I'll meet you on the other side_

_I'll meet you in the light_

_If only I don't suffocate_

_I'll meet you in the morning, when you wake_

* * *

**A/N:** Again, thanks **TVCrazed **for the awesome ideas you share with me. Thanks for reading ladies and gents and all those in between. :D The next chapter should be up soon. I'm still playing around with it so please bear with me.

The lyrics in this chapter are by Keane and the song is Bend and Break. On a random note, I'm putting together a playlist of all the songs I've used in the story. I'll be posting it in my profile when it's finished. I'll let you know when it's there.

Also, Evelyn is the mother from the season five episode _Shaken. _**Standard Disclaimer Time: **I don't own her either.


	19. Ex Post Facto

**A/N: **Wow. I must say this one came along faster than I expected. Kinda proud of myself actually. Anyhow, thanks for the feedback everyone. It's always loved and appreciated. Shout out to everybody who follows this from the sidelines!

**7/21/08: **The beginning of this chapter was revised. I re-read it and there were some holes in the beginning. I noticed Robin realized her surroundings much too quickly. Most adults in these situations don't catch a clue that fast! Haha. :)

The end draws nearer ladies and gents…

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen: Ex Post Facto **

_Everyone's here_

_Everybody's watching you now_

_Everybody waits for you now_

_What happens next?_

At first Mommy didn't even know her eyes were open. She just kept talking; her words packed together in a topsy-turvy blur, making Robin's head pound. Her mother just kept whispering, almost sounding like she was talking to herself. Robin wanted her to know that she was awake.

"Mommy…" she called out, looking up at her.

She tried again, louder than before. Mommy didn't stop. She didn't even bother to look at her. Couldn't she hear her? Why wasn't Mommy paying attention? And where were they? Something was beeping in her ear. There was something in her nose! She tried calling her mother again, but it wasn't working! She was doing everything right. What was Mommy's problem?

Robin was screaming. She was screaming, but Mommy just wouldn't listen! What was _wrong _with her? Why couldn't she hear her? Robin tried to move her arms, her fingers too, but nothing worked. Why?

She felt the dampness on her arm. Tears. Mommy was leaning over her, her mouth moving as fast as Road Runner's legs. Mommy rarely cried and when she did, it was always over something big--like when Grandpa died or Uncle Jimmy got hurt in the war and had to have his leg sewn back on. Robin knew she wasn't dead, but that still didn't tell her anything.

By then Mommy was still crying, going on about a new home. Were they moving? Robin always thought the apartment was way too small. She knew Mommy loved their apartment, but she didn't see a reason to cry about it. Maybe she was acting weird because Robin was...where _was _she?

The beeping sound was still going strong. She couldn't see much and every time she tried, her head started spinning like a top. Everything had a bright like around it, a light that made her eyes burn. She looked down as best she could and she could kind of see her clothes. It looked like she was wearing a pillow case. She reached out to touch it, but she remembered nothing worked.

Mommy had yet to notice anything was wrong, which was scary by itself. Mommy always noticed when Robin was scared or when she needed help. Through the haze she noticed the red cast on her left arm. Maybe that's why her arm didn't work, but that didn't explain the other one. And how _did_ she get hurt? Maybe she got hurt during the game. It was the championship. The other team had a lot of bigger boys, bigger than Jason. She remembered one of those boys crashing into her, during the last inning she thought. Maybe he crushed her arm. Mommy missed the game. She missed them more often than not. Maybe Mommy was crying because she felt guilty about that.

Special nurses and doctors? What was she talking about? It was just a broken arm! They heal! When Jason broke his arm by the time everyone had signed his cast, it was ready to come off and he was back to pitching. She loved it when Mommy was around to take care of her, but it was ridiculous for her to be so worried.

Robin kept trying to tell her that she was fine. She tried screaming again. She used every ounce of power she had, but Mommy couldn't hear her. Maybe nothing was wrong with Mommy, maybe her mouth didn't work. She tried to move it, to make it work, but nothing. Robin was screaming, but it was all in her head. The words were all in her head. Mommy couldn't hear her because she wasn't saying anything!

She was so scared, but Mommy just kept talking. "So Daddy's not going to be able to visit you at your new home. It's not because he doesn't love you or anything like that. Part of being a good parent is doing what's best for your kid, even if it's hard. That's why I'm going to let the doctors move you to Shady Creek, so they can make sure you're healthy and happy and that you don't have to be afraid."

Daddy? When did Daddy come back? And why did Mommy keep talking about "your" new home? Was she sending her away. If she wasn't going to live with Daddy, where was she going? _Why_ was she going? Who sends their kid away because they broke their arm? And why couldn't she talk? Why wouldn't her body work?

Then Mommy sprang to her feet. "Robin! DR. HARMON! Robin…you're awake! You're looking at me! DOCTOR!"

Robin was getting tired. She didn't want to sleep. She wanted to know what was going on. Then the room was crawling with people. A lady in a white coat and another one in a bright shirt were rushing toward the bed. Uncle Lucky and Grandma Nana were there, holding each of Mommy's hands. The lady in the bright she was writing something, the one in the white coat was poking her foot. That was weird. Why couldn't she feel the needle in her foot? She felt the one in her arm though. Then the room went black.

When she opened her eyes again, a doctor was standing over her, talking. She was holding a flashlight in the air. The bright light made Robin's eyes burn. She tried to turn her head, but she couldn't. Did they tie it to the bed? It felt like it was made of concrete.

"Robin, I'm Dr. Harmon. I'm going to ask you some questions and I want you to respond by blinking. If you want to say no, blink your eyes one time. If you want to say yes, blink them twice. Do you understand?"

She blinked her eyes twice.

"She's can hear!" she heard her mother sigh with what sounded like relief.

She heard Grandma Nana crying and Uncle Lucky too. She had never seen Uncle Lucky cry. Nobody had. And she doubted he was crying because she broke her arm. Something big had happened and it terrified her that she didn't know—and couldn't ask.

"Robin, does this hurt?"

The needle in her arm again. She couldn't see it, but she could feel it. She couldn't see much of anything. They were too far away. She blinked twice again.

She could see the shadow named Dr. Harmon nod. She half saw the needle in her legs and then in her feet. Why couldn't she feel anything there?

"Did you feel the poke in your leg?"

She blinked once.

"How about the ones in you feet?"

Same.

"Okay. You're doing really well. Now, I'm going to ask you some questions about things you can remember. If you don't remember all of the answers, that's okay. Now remember, one blink means no and two blinks mean yes. Do you understand?"

Twice again.

"Do you remember how old you are?"

Seven blinks. She heard the doctor laugh a little.

"That's really good Robin. You're seven years old."

Why was Dr. Harmon talking to her like she was crazy? Of course she could remember her age! What if…what if she _did _go crazy? Maybe that's why Mommy was sending her away. Maybe that's why Mommy was talking about Daddy. Maybe she finally ended up being just like him.

Her family moved closer to her bed, but Dr. Harmon stopped them. The lady in the bright shirt was next to her bed, fiddling with a bag of liquid. The bag of liquid was connected to her arm. She could hear the adults whispering. She wished they would tell _her_ something. Didn't they know she was afraid? How many times would she have to blink to get that point across?

She was crying, the wet droplets like rain tickling her face. She couldn't talk. She wanted to make them understand, but there weren't enough blinks.

Mommy noticed, finally. She pushed the doctor out of the way and took her hand. "You're going to be okay Robin. I'm here. We're all here."

The black blanket of sleep was wrapping itself around her again. She tried to wiggle out of it, but she remembered she couldn't move. Her eyes were getting heavy, the darkness starting to outweigh the light. What was happening to her?

* * *

"What do you mean we can't touch Katsaros?" Logan shouted, slamming the door to Captain Jimmy Deakins' office. He failed to remember Wheeler was on the other aide of it. When she entered, glaring, he dealt her a sheepish smile. "Sorry."

"Captain, Charles has significant information about our case. We lose him, we lose days off the trail."

"I'm well aware of that Wheeler, but my hands are tied. He's DEA bait which means we pull our lines and try again."

"A seven year old girl is lying in a hospital bed trapped inside her mind. She can't speak, but her father can. Putting a gag in his mouth isn't going to help anybody, especially that little girl."

"I'm not taking the situation lightly Detective, but there's nothing I can do here."

"So what are we supposed to do, bend over and grab our ankles because the feds say 'mine'?"

"If that inspires you to find another avenue of investigation, go for it."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Come on…"

"This discussion is over Detective."

Offering a final glare, Logan stormed over to the door and opened it with force. He turned, half tempted to give his superior officer a middle-finger salute. As the images of Staten Island flickered across his memory, he decided simply slamming the door would suffice.

Back at their desks, Wheeler was silently going over the Zambranos' past, looking for anything that would mend the pothole in their investigation. She watched Logan over the rim of her laptop, wondering if he was fit for human contact.

"We still have the Zambranos," he said finally. He'd rediscovered his turkey sandwich.

"I'm aware of that."

"Already on it?"

"Uh-huh."

"I'll give this to you Freckles: you think fast on your feet."

"And I keep a clear head. No sense in letting one monkey stop the whole show."

"And you're deep too."

"Sense you're in a chipper mood, come over and take a look at this."

"What prevents you from turning your laptop to face me like you normally do?" Logan grumbled, pulling himself from his chair and dramatically shambling over to her desk.

"Because you have functioning feet…"

"Are you still mad about the cheese?" he leaned over her shoulder and placed his arm on the desk in front of her to steady himself. He was so close he could smell the apple in her hair. Barek's hair smelled like oranges. Apples and oranges. He wasn't sure which one he liked. "What did you dig up?"

"Glenys Zambrano was born Glenys Taylor and Glenys Taylor has a baby sister. Little Morgan Taylor likes big fish."

Logan squinted at the screen. "If she married Pavel Kuzmin baby sister likes piranha. Major player in the Russian mafia. He's got every federal law enforcement agency digging for a piece of him. He's also got some of those same feds filed under accounts payable."

"They got married as soon as she became legal. They have a daughter, Pasha Kuzmin, born in 1996. Morgan attended nursing school for three years, but stopped abruptly. All records of Morgan and Pasha end the same year. They just dropped off the grid."

"So Glenys takes in her mob moll baby sister, helps her get a new identity, and her wack job of a husband murders the entire family as payback."

"There's no record of Morgan or Pasha having been at the Zambranos' during or before the murder."

Logan sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He picked up the file, scanning for a break. Low and behold, life contained miracles. "There was an unreadable set of prints at the scene. Wanna bet they belong to Morgan?"

* * *

_Welcome to the fallout_

_Welcome to resistance_

_The tension is here_

"I didn't know who he was until it was too late," Charlie downed the shot of whisky Connie sat in front of him. "He was real cool, you know? I used to go to this casino, you know, drink a little, put a few on the tables. He started coming around, real big shot. All the bottle blonde gold diggers in there knew him like the back of their hands. One day he sits by me and starts talking, shooting the breeze. Then I hit a seven and I saw more of him."

"What the fuck is this, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? Get to the meat Little Brother!"

Charlie swallowed, rubbing his sweaty palms against his moist temple. "We started getting into where I worked. He started asking me if I had access to medication, you know, the hard shit. He knew about my mortgage troubles and about how Taylor's private school fees were going up. Offered to help, but I wasn't into it at first. Then the nurses strike happened and the collection agencies started blowing up my phone. I paid three mortgage payments in three days. Felt good."

Connie groaned. He unscrewed the cap and poured the amber liquid down his throat. "When did he shoot out your kneecaps?"

"When he started threatening my family. I told him I was out, that it was getting too risky. Then my kids started coming up. He knew were all of Taylor's ballet recitals were and where Krista would take Chuckie for baby yoga. Even then I knew something wasn't right, something wasn't sitting well."

"A certifiable mobster threatening to off your entire family doesn't sound like a run of the mill conversation…"

"No," he shook his head frantically. "More than that. I noticed that the threats always centered on Krista and Chuckie. Taylor rarely came up, if she did at all. One day while Krista and the kids were off visiting her father, I came home and Kuzmin was there. He didn't even hear me come in. He was sitting on my couch, staring at Taylor's school picture, tracing it. He was smiling, a real smile, not something he cultivated to make himself look like a human being."

"He has a sick fetish with little girls…"

Charlie laughed and caved his head in his hands. "He has a sick fetish with family."

* * *

_Maybe redemption has stories to tell_

_Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell_

"Thank you for allowing us to come down," Pappou said, balancing Chuckie in his right arm and shaking Casey's outstretched hand with his left. "I can't tell you how happy we are that Birdie's awake!"

"Yes," Yiayia smiled reluctantly. "And thank you for selecting a care facility so close to our house. The drive into the city isn't good for my knees."

"So Robin can hear us, but she can't say anything back?" Taylor asked softly. She was a little wary of Casey, seeing as until recently the tall woman was a threat to her family.

"That's right," Casey nodded at the girl. "She can answer little things by blinking. Try asking her simple yes or no questions. That'll keep her stress down."

"I drew her pictures," Chuckie grinned, reaching into his back pocket. Unfolding the thick white drawing paper, he thrust his artwork toward his sister's mother. "I drew one of her playing baseball and of us playing catch in the yard at Yiayia's and Pappou's. I drew her with me and Taylor and Mommy and Daddy too. I couldn't draw you cause I didn't know you. I didn't know what you look like."

"Well you're a great artist," Casey tweaked his nose. "Robin will love them.""

"You should let Daddy visit her too," Taylor said suddenly. She tugged on her bottom lip for support. "He really misses her you know. He even sleeps in her room and he doesn't come out unless he has too."

"Taylor…" Yiayia admonished, but the girl didn't seem to hear her.

"I know you think it's his fault that Robin's hurt and I don't know if that's true, but you should let him visit too. I know that you don't like him, but Robin did."

Taylor shook her head at Casey's silence before taking her brother's hand and leading him into their sister's room.

Casey could hear Pappou absently apologizing and even got a few whiffs of Yiayia's salty diatribe about Charlie's non-existent parental rights. She didn't care because the room was spinning again. Her ears were ringing. Her heart was thrashing in her chest. The blood was rushing toward her head.

She groaned as she collided into Pappou's open arms, cursing life for oscillating like a pendulum.

* * *

_The tension is here_

_Between who you are and who you could be_

_Between how it is and how it should be_

Logan hung up the phone. His smile had become a rictus of amazement. "That was CSU. They ran the print I dropped off."

"From the sparkle in your eye, I take it they got a hit."

"Bulls-eye! Smack dab in the middle of our case. All nurses have to be finger printed before the work in county hospitals. Our little mob moll likes to play doctor. Detective Wheeler, let me introduce you to Morgan Taylor, better known as Krista Bowen-Katsaros, Charlie's wife."

* * *

The sound of Charlie's cell phone ripped Krista away from her book. Charlie's parents had taken the kids to visit their sister. They'd invited Krista, but she knew she had no place there. That and she couldn't stand to look at the girl's mother, the woman who was ransacking Krista's life without even trying.

Closing the book, she retrieved the phone from the kitchen table and just stared at the flashing number. Her husband had been acting strange lately, almost as if he were regressing. She rubbed her neck through her sweater, shuttering from the bruise there. Charlie had been on his cell phone a lot lately. She found herself surprised that he left it.

And grateful. Maybe if she knew what was happening she could fix it. She knew how to fix her husband before and she could fix him now.

"Hello?"

The silence was like a pall. A river of regret flowed within in her.

Then that voice. His voice. Like a lash, cutting through everything she'd worked for.

"Morgan?"

She withered at the sting. "…Pavel? How did you?"

"Don't worry about that," he sounded…happy? Like he missed her. No, like he found his favorite toy. "I want to see you! Pasha has grown. Such a good little dancer, so graceful."

"You've seen…?"

"Of course I've seen her! Did you really think I'd let you get too far? You disappoint me Morgan. You know what happens when I get disappointed. We'll be speaking again soon my love. It was refreshing to hear your voice."

_I dare you to move_

_Like today never happened_

_Today never happened before_

* * *

**A/N**: So…the cat is pretty much out of the bag. It's not over though. :D

Quick questions (actually the first of two): Honestly, am I going overboard with the songs? I read something about lyrics in fan fiction drawing attention away from the story itself? Are you all experiencing that? I'd really appreciate your feedback. It'll be a big help in the long run.

Onto to my second question (that's really a request): So, I don't want to come across as a review fiend. I am, however, a feedback junkie. As I get closer to the end, it would be awesome to hear (read) what more of you all thought of (or are thinking about) the story. What you thought could be (and can still be) improved…what you enjoyed…what you didn't…things of that nature. Like I said, all feedback is loved and appreciated. Thanks in advance folks.

And for the record, the song of the moment is Dare You to Move performed by Switchfoot.


	20. Symbiosis

**A/N: **The writer's block is coming back. I tried with this one, but it might suck. :-/ . Apologies in advance ahaha. It's a little long too.

Review replies have been sent. Thank you all for the supportive and encouraging feedback. It's always appreciated. You guys are awesome.

Also, I revised the beginning of the previous chapter. It had some holes that needed patching. I left a note about the change there.

We're almost at the end of the line…

* * *

**Chapter Twenty: Symbiosis**

_And I don't want the world to see me_

_Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

"This had better be good Detective," Agent Leslie Hooper asked gruffly, folding her arms and leaning against the desk in the conference room. "Under no circumstances are you to contact Charles Katsaros or his family. I honestly don't see why that's so difficult for you all to understand."

Logan flicked a bored glance at the blonde DEA agent and her rigid partner, eased into a chair, and propped his chin in his hand. He expected them to be uncooperative. Damn glory hoarders, always willing to suck up all the credit and never give any when it was due. They were like dogs and if he new anything about fury four legged creatures, they always unbuttoned when they got a treat.

"Katsaros is a very vital piece of our investigation and we're not about to let you shake him up so he develops an urge to hightail it out of here," Willis Andrews, Hooper's partner, snapped and adjusted his tie.

Logan straightened in his chair and crossed his legs, resting his steepled fingers on the table in front of him. "Are you two familiar with symbiosis?"

"If you called us down here for a biology lesson…"

"Not at all Agent Hooper. However just in case high school biology has completely oozed out of that thick skull of yours: symbiosis is an interaction between two different organisms living in close physical association, typically to the advantage of both."

"Those all night cram sessions with Goren are paying off," Deakins groaned. "Logan, if you have a point, make it so we can move along."

"I think this is the start of a mutually beneficial relationship between two vital factions of law enforcement," Logan grinned. "We need a Katsaros, you need a Katsaros. You let us question Krista Katsaros and we'll give you Pavel Kuzmin."

Andrews arched a bushy brown brow. "Pavel Kuzmin? What the hell does he have to do with any of this?"

"Absolutely nothing," Hooper rolled her eyes and moved towards the door. Pulling it open, she signaled for Andrews to follow and narrowed her eyes at Logan. "We don't have time for your game of riddles and lies, Detective. Pavel Kuzmin is virtually impossible to get. There's no way you have an inside that we don't."

"I wouldn't be so quick to underestimate the NYPD if I were you," Wheeler spoke for the first time. She held up a manila folder, papers and pictures peaking up from every corner. "Everything's all in this file. Everything you need to get Kuzmin."

Hooper narrowed her eyes, thinking. Slowly she released the door handle and pulled up a chair. "I'm listening, but make it convincing."

"We have your okay to question Krista?"

The agents locked eyes. Both nodded between the detectives and their captain. Andrews sighed and sat down next to Hooper. Wheeler slid the folder down the desk at them.

The agents flipped through the mounds of photographs, fingerprints, birth certificates, and other evidence linking Krista to Pavel. Andrews seemed convinced, his eager hazel eyes licking the page with anticipation. Hooper, however, was still clocking the detectives and their findings with her hard eyes.

"This is all well and good, but how does this give us Pavel? There's no proof that he ordered the hit on the Zambranos. For all we know Krista murdered her sister's family."

"Pavel Kuzmin is our pot of gold and with a little convincing, Krista and Charles can lead us over the rainbow.

Hooper watched Logan a moment, then sighed. "Okay Detectives, you get us something we can use. I need something watertight as a guppy's ass. You give us something real, we'll have your back. But don't come back here with your little analogies and riddles or any other bullshit you decide to cook up."

"Watertight as a guppy's ass?" Logan furrowed his brow as he stood to leave. "You're vulgar. I like that. Dinner and a movie on Saturday?"

* * *

Robin played the conversation in her mind for the fourth time since she woke up. Nothing made sense. The girl and the boy claiming to be her brother and sister didn't help much.

"_She's up," the voice was high and squeaky, like brakes that needed oil. _

_Robin heard the whisper of footsteps against the floors. She saw the shadows, one bigger than the other. One had pigtails and the other was holding something. Mommy said Yiayia and Pappou were visiting. These people were too short, not to mention Yiayia wouldn't be caught dead in pigtails. _

_The squeaky voice was in her ear now and the owner was taking her hand. The voice belonged to a little boy with black hair and big blue eyes. He liked to draw pictures and he made some for her. She felt her bed shake. The strange boy was trying to climb in her with her, to help her see the colors better he said._

"_Get down Chuckie," an older voice said. It belonged to a girl. Her pigtails bounced up and down as she pulled the boy away from the bed. "Sorry Robin, he doesn't know any better. He's just happy you're awake. You probably don't believe this, but I am too."_

_How did they know her name? Why didn't she know theirs? What were they there for in the first place? Maybe they had the wrong Robin. _

"_Casey said you can talk to us with your eyes," the Chuckie boy piped from the chair the girl had thrown him in. "Can you hear us?"_

_She blinked twice. The boy clapped his hands and giggled. Robin saw the girl smile. Who were these people and why were they so excited to see her? Why was she supposed to know them? Mommy obviously did, but why didn't she? _

"_We really missed you," the girl gave her hand a squeeze. "Yiayia and Pappou and Daddy too. We were all so worried."_

"_Yeah," Chuckie nodded. "We thought you was going to stay asleep forever."_

_Robin's eyes widened. Yiayia and Pappou knew them too? Daddy again. "We." Sleep forever? Nobody sleeps forever, especially when he or she breaks his or her arm. Something was definitely wrong. Pigtails and Squeaky weren't helping much either._

_The girl must have figured out how scared she was. She took her hand and held it tight. "You're going to be okay now. We're all here. I know I wasn't much of a big sister, but that's all going to change. I'm going to show you how to paint your nails. You can teach me how to play baseball. I'll even do your hair when it grows back."_

_GROWS BACK? HER HAIR WAS GONE? She reached for her head, but she remembered she couldn't. Nothing worked anymore. She couldn't talk, she couldn't move, she could hardly feel, and after listening to her "sister" she was slowly realizing that something was missing. Something was gone and when she tried to figure out what it was, her head split in two._

_Robin's eyes darted back and forth like two green marbles being shaken in a jar. Her heart was beating in her eyes so hard she thought it would burst through. She couldn't breathe. A beeping sound was screaming in her ear. _

"_You made her scared Taylor!" Chuckie shouted. "I'm telling Yiayia!"_

"_Shut up," Taylor hissed. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you! Do you want your mom?"_

_Robin blinked. Lots and lots of blinks, coming as fast as a hummingbird's wings. _

_By then Mommy was already there. Dr. Harmon was too. The room was crawling with people. Robin could hear Taylor and Chuckie crying as Yiayia and Pappou dragged them out of the room. Mommy was telling her that she was okay. Dr. Harmon just wanted her to blink. She was getting sleepy again, but this time she didn't mind._

"You had a crazy day yesterday," Mommy said, giving a little yawn. Mommy was always tired. "Dr. Harmon says you're okay, that you got a little worked up. I think we should wait before your brother and sister come to visit you again, okay? Until you're little more used to being awake."

Robin didn't bother to blink. She just stared ahead, lost in that thought.

That scared Mommy. "Robin…? Robin are you okay? Are you still with me?"

Two blinks. Her mother's breath tickled her cheek as she sighed.

Mommy tweaked her nose. "Don't scare me like that," Mommy smiled, but then it slipped off like oil on a skillet. She looked sad, a little lost too. "I'm so glad you're awake, Champ. You have no idea. I love you so much. You know that right?"

Two blinks. Then three.

"Three?" Mommy arched her brow. It dawned on her. "I love you?"

A blizzard of blinks.

Mommy laughed and kissed both her cheeks. "How about a story?"

Robin blinked, but before Mommy could pick up the book, a knock came and the door burst open. A man and woman came in, both grinning from ear to ear.

"Hey guys," Mommy stood up and hugged each of them. "What brings you down here?"

"We heard the big news and we wanted to see the little trooper for ourselves," the man smiled in Robin's direction, waving.

The woman, who was holding a card shaped like a bat, waved at her too. "Welcome back Robin."

Not again. Another hole. What was wrong with her? Why did everyone know her, but she didn't know them. It reminded her of the black windows on a limo. Everyone could see out, but she couldn't see in.

"You remember Detective Benson. This is her partner, Detective Stabler. You guys met on Mother's Day."

Mother's Day? That was two weeks away. She and Yiayia were supposed to go shopping for presents the Friday before. This was getting scary. She blinked once.

"What does one blink mean?" the woman asked.

Mommy seemed much paler, something Robin didn't think was possible. She watched as Mommy rushed over to her bed and took her hand. Her eyes were wide as sunflowers. "You don't remember Dectective Benson? She came over to visit us and we all talked a little…"

One slow blink, overflowing with information.

"Taylor and Chuckie, your brother and sister, you don't remember them either? That's why you got so worked up yesterday, you don't remember. You don't remember getting hurt?"

Once again.

Mommy's eyes welled with tears and the man named Dectective Stabler wrapped his arm around her while his lady friend shouted for Dr. Harmon.

* * *

Two hours later Casey Novak stood in the hallway outside of her sleeping daughter's door, listening to Dr. Harmon update her on Robin's condition. Casey rashly let her fear plague the conversation. Life had been savagely cruel the last few weeks, giving and taking as it pleased. Now that it had presented her with the scenario she'd been reaching for, she couldn't stand to have it ripped from her fingertips.

The scalding droplets squeezed out of her like a washcloth being run dry. A wave of nausea spread foaming sickness up her stomach walls. Pushing past the concerned surgeon, she stole into Robin's room and staggered into the bathroom.

Dr. Harmon found her leaned over the toilet, puking like a geyser. "I can get you something for your stomach, Ms. Novak."

"I'll be…" she spoke too soon. Another torrent of last night's dinner had taken over. Clearing her throat, she reached up to flush the toilet, only to find herself leaning over the bowl again. It was as though she was attached to it. "...fine. Something…something I ate."

"I know the cafeteria food is a hardly a grade above dog food, but it's never caused that much of a reaction. I think you've come down with something."

Casey groaned and snatched herself upward. After washing out her mouth in the sink, she stood up. She didn't dare look at herself in the mirror. "I'm fine. Probably just a bug. They say people get sick spending long periods of time in hospitals. You guys should look into that."

"I can update you later. There's a lounge down the hall. Why don't you rest up a little?"

Casey shook her head, instantly regretting it. The headache was like being stabbed in the eyes with a butcher knife. She pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and middle finger. "I can't take not knowing."

Dr. Harmon tilted her head, and then nodded slowly. "We can have this conversation in Robin's room as the lights in the hall might be a little much for you. She's heavily sedated so she can't hear us."

Casey followed the doctor into the dimly lit room. "How much has she lost?"

"Why don't we start from the beginning? During Robin's initial stay we had her on assisted respiration using cold oxygen via tracheal incubation. In some cases this bypases the warming of the upper respiratory tract and causes a chilling of the aortic blood and a chilling of the brain. When we removed Robin's oxygen because she was breathing on her own, this started to undo the additional damage caused by the unheated oxygen. We put Robin on heated oxygen and upped the dosage of her antiepileptic. In summary, that essentially helped to unfreeze her brain to unfreeze her."

Casey sighed, the headache was getting worse. "What about the amnesia?"

"We used the pictures and dates you proved to quiz Robin after her MRI. She remembers you and her grandparents and her uncles. She remembers her grandfather dying. She knows that she's seven years old and she remembers her best-friend Jason. She also remembers her father, but she has no recollection of meeting him. She doesn't remember you being attacked at work either, though the thought was extremely upsetting. She does, however, recall her championship baseball game."

"The championship? That…that was a month ago! She's lost an entire month?" Casey sputtered frantically.

"Robin's MRI showed significant damage to her temporal lobes and hippocampus. She's suffering from retrograde amnesia, meaning she cannot recall any memories formed shortly before the accident."

"She's obviously coherent. Why can't she talk or feel anything in her legs?"

"A piece of glass caused a small laceration in the spinal cord, causing some bleeding and swelling. Once the swelling subdues, Robin's nervous system functionality should return."

Casey ran her hands through her head, a tremendous weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "Will Robin ever regain the memories she's lost?"

"Only time will tell," Dr. Harmon adjusted the chart in her hand and looked over at the sleeping girl. "In the meantime, you should consider getting some rest. We're moving Robin to Shady Creek tomorrow afternoon. I'm recommending physical and speech therapy. She'll also undergo private therapy sessions."

Casey nodded absently, already sitting with Robin and holding her hand.

"Get some rest Ms. Novak," Dr. Harmon said before closing the door.

* * *

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming_

_Or the moment of truth in your lies_

_When everything seems like the movies_

_Yeah you bleed just to know your alive_

Krista owed them nothing…and yet…there was still this hallow nothing within her too…a bottomless pit…a long shaft…nasty and unforgiving. And here were the detectives with their pictures and ultimatums, begging and demanding. Everyone was like that with her. She seemed to attract these give and take relationships. Life wanted so much of her and when she bled her chances dry, she catapulted to the next host. She wasn't sure which was the disease. Her perpetual need to destroy or to be rescued.

"Just tell us what happened Morgan. A lot of lives are on the line. We can help you, you just need to be willing to play ball."

Lives were always on the line. Her soul was infested with carnage, her hands deluged with blood. That meant everything and nothing. She tried, but she couldn't make herself care. Nothing seemed important. The end was inevitable. The best thing she could do was accept it and move on.

"What happened to your sister and her family? Was it Pavel?"

All of them. She remembered turning on the lights, the bile eating away at her throat. She had tripped over little Daisy's arm. Pasha was screaming. Morgan covered her baby's eyes, trying to erase everything. She could feel Glenys' brown eyes burn through her soul. All of them and if she didn't find somebody else, she and Pasha would be next.

"Of course it was Pavel!" she suddenly yelled. The male detective takes a step back, but the female doesn't budge.

"What happened Morgan?" the female pushes.

"Pavel's like a squabbling child when he doesn't get his way. He crushed my dollhouse and ripped the arms off my dolls. That's just the way he is."

"And that doesn't bother you?"

"It used to," she shrugged. "Then Charlie came and I got new dolls. Pavel didn't find them. At least I thought he didn't."

"How did Pavel find you?" the male asked.

"He's got eyes in every corner. In up and down on every side. When I went down, he burned down my house. When I went up and found a friend for Pasha and I, Pavel ripped off his head and burned it. Then I went to the left side and I found Charlie. He needed fixing, but I was good at that. Daddy has the same problem. I fixed him too."

"What happened when he found your friend Charlie?"

"I didn't know they were friends 'til yesterday. Charlie said Pavel needed his help and if he said no, Pavel was going to take away my dolls again. That's why Charlie's doll is sick, because Charlie said no and we ran away. He wanted Charlie to disappear so he could have me for himself. I'm kind of glad Charlie's doll is gone. She was trying to take everything away. Like Pavel was."

"Morgan, we can protect you and your new dolls if you help us. We need you to show us where Pavel is. If you can make him say he wanted to hurt Charlie and you and all your dolls, we can put him away for a long time."

Her laugh was sweet and sardonic. Gone were little Morgan and her dolls. Morgan was such a child. She never understood the rules. "Help me? You can't help me! Nobody can stop Pavel! Look what he did to Charlie and Robin. He'll kill Charlie and our son if I give him up. And even if I do, you can't touch him. Nobody can. He's got people like you on his payroll. He won't even be arraigned."

"That's where you come in Krista," the man said, leaning over the table. "You said Pavel wanted to see you. We'll have people on you at all times. He won't be able to touch you without us knowing it. You give us Pavel and his confession to blackmailing your husband and killing the Zambranos and your husband doesn't get brought up on smuggling charges."

"He'll be mad," Morgan shook her head, fiddling with her blonde hair. "People don't come back when Pavel's mad."

"You'll come back," the woman promised.

"Are you sure?"

"You have our word, you'll be protected at all times."

"Then we have a deal Detectives," Krista grinned, leaning back in her chair and slapping her feet up.

There was going to be a show and she was going to be a star. Nobody was going to forget. Nobody.

* * *

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_

_Cause I know that you feel me somehow_

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_

_And I don't want to go home right now_

Casey awoke to a hand on her shoulder. Two bright blue eyes were beating down on her. They were so cautious and hopeful. She cringed.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she rasped, jumping to her feet.

"I came…I came to say goodbye. I'm leaving New York."

"Bye."

He reached for her shoulder, but decided against it. "I would like a few minutes to say goodbye to Robin. I know she's awake, that she can hear. I know you don't want me here, but I couldn't bring myself to leave without telling her I love her."

Casey sighed. "I don't think…it's not a good idea."

"I know…"

"You don't understand," she interrupted hotly. "She…she doesn't remember you. She doesn't remember your kids or your wife or anything before the accident. You stole a full month of her life Charlie. The least you could do is let her live her new one in peace."

He was quiet for a moment. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned away from her, focusing on Robin. He watched her chest rise and fall, the brightness of life settling into her cheeks. Maybe her mother was right, but he'd done enough. Maybe the best way to love her was to leave. He hated that thought.

"Can she hear me?" he managed.

"No. They have her sedated. She'll come around tomorrow morning."

"Then, I'd like to tell you what happened and why things are the way they are. It's like a braid, one strand of hair gets yanked and the whole thing unravels. Back and forth back and forth, until time stops dancing. They told me to listen to the colors, but I preferred the streams. The rain clouds are always fat and then they burst and the songs stop. The music always plays for me, but I couldn't find the volume. Wrong record."

Casey just listened. His sentences did not connect, his words were like the spewing of a broken faucet, plenteous but erratic. The sound of his voice struck her. It was so familiar and so different. She closed her eyes and remembered the man she loved. She tried to hold onto him, but all she could see was the brutalized, unhinged man before her, a sad caricature of the amazing man he had been.

Charlie seemed to bounce back into reality just in time to see her make a beeline for the bathroom. He leaned against the threshold, watching with wide eyes as she hovered over the toilet seat.

"My father said you fainted yesterday."

"And?" she coughed, standing up.

"You're throwing up."

"And you're observant," she rolled her eyes and washed her mouth out.

"Are you…are you late?"

"It's only been…" she narrowed her eyes. "I'm not…"

"It's been a few weeks since we…that night," he reminded her. "Have you been with anyone else?"

She shook her head. Her eyes were unreadable.

"You're pregnant," there was a smile in his voice. "We made another baby."

"You don't know that," she pushed past him.

"Have you taken a test?" he followed her.

"No."

"Then you can't say it isn't true," he swallowed, stuffing his hands back in his pockets. "If you are…what are you…will you keep it?"

She just shrugged.

He nodded. He walked over to Robin's bed and without so much as a word, he leaned down and kissed her cheek. Nodding his goodbyes to the love of his life, he left.

Casey realized he was never coming back and the closing of the door had nothing to do with that realization.

_And all I can taste is this moment_

_And all I can breathe is your life_

_Cause sooner or later it's over_

_I just don't want to miss you tonight_

* * *

It was surprisingly cold for a summer night. Charlie stood in front of the hospital, unsure of what to do next. He'd served his purpose he supposed. Or maybe he hadn't. No sense in speculating. He wasn't one to stick around for the credits.

He lit a cigarette and blew the smoke out without removing it from his lips. He moved towards his car. The gun felt like ice against his back.

"At last, we meet again Mr. Katsaros."

Pavel Kuzmin's breath on his neck, the smell of cinnamon stole into his nose. Charlie remained silent.

"You and I are going for a little ride. Don't make a sound now. We can help each other Mr. Katsaros. Just stick with me and you'll go along way.

_I just want you to know who I am_

* * *

**A/N: **Oh we've got trouble…right here in River City…

The lyrics are by the Goo Goo Dolls and the song is Iris. The lyrics are out of order. It just worked better that way.

Thanks for reading ladies and gents. Until next time…

**Next up: **Drastic times call for drastic measures. Drastic people get desperate, but a least the future's bright.


	21. Dénouement

**A/N:** So, this is the end my friends. It's the first ending I've ever written so bear with me. Ending a story is a foreign concept to me...

Please be on the look out for review replies. I'll be sending them tomorrow.

And as always, thank you to all the folks who have this on their alert list and to those who follow the story from a afar.

It's been a pleasure writing this (and sometimes a pain) and I appreciate all the support you all have given me over the last year.

Would it be a little much if I cried? Haha, yah, probably.

So…I give you.

* * *

**Chapter 21: Dénouement**

_Sick of preaching this to you,_

_Nobody listens think they're something and they treat you like a fool,_

_Thought that it was clear, nobody said that life was fair_

On Long Island, in a mansion as louche as Pavel Kuzmin's, a barrage of screams was not a rarity. Kuzmin's life was a sinister one, a den of malevolence and sin that loomed over his soul like a shroud. To Kuzmin, life was an insincere maze of doors, each held a proposition that stated nothing beyond what was implied by any of its terms. He'd seen almost everything, participated in many vices and even dawned a mask of virtuosity for a time. There was a depression hindering the economy of his conscience, the value of human life had dwindled drastically. Caring was a blight, generosity was a debilitating disease. He'd given so much that his heart was charred and shriveled, like a rose that had fallen too close to the fire.

He had no humanity left to offer.

So when the frivolous, drug governed lunatic flapped his hands about, begging like a love ballad for his little boy's life, the words fell on Pavel's deaf ears.

Charles Katsaros Jr. was squirming, his tiny legs kicking like an overturned beetle's. Pavel held him in the air by his collar, the cold muzzle of his beretta pressed against the toddler's skull. Both Charles' were reduced to a flood of tears. A puddle was forming on the carpet where the little one had pissed his pants. Cowards. The both of them.

"Daddy! Stop it! You're hurting me!"

The boy continued to scream, but Pavel could no longer make out what he was saying. His mind had frozen in time. A girl. A beautiful one with hair yellow as marigolds after rain and big vulnerable brown eyes that any man could read. She was too young to be there and everybody knew it, but they would be too sad to see her go. Her sunken shoulders, red nose, and puffy eyes told them that if she left, somebody somewhere would make sure she never came back.

Daddy. Stop. The two words, words so simple, that had written the course of his life.

"_I've been looking all over for you," a loud voice hard as nails bounced off the walls of Sydney's Pub. A husky man with a receding hairline and a thick Welsh accent shoved his way through hordes of onlookers and moved as quickly as possible to the bar._

_Pavel had been sitting next to the little angel the whole time he'd been there. As he nursed his fourth beer, he watched her. The entire time she'd been sitting there, her shoulders had been slumped. She kept her face stern, trying to ward off any attention. But as the voice dug further into the room, her heart shaped face began flashing with terror. She gripped the counter, her knuckles turning beet red. He could see her calculating, scooping out an escape route._

"_So this where you go? This is where you like to run you little bitch! Just like your mother! Things get difficult so you spread your legs and lose yourself in a bottle!"_

"_Daddy," she turned around slowly as if afraid to make any sudden movements. "I'm…I'm sorry I worried you."_

"_You're not sorry enough, but you will be," his green eyes darkened as he snatched her arm. "Come on! We're going home!"_

"_No," she wrenched free. Her meek voice was almost shocked. Courage was such a foreign concept, but it was growing on her. "I'm not going. Not until…not until you calm down."_

"_Shut up and come on," he tightened his grip, his nails jabbing through her skin._

_The tears welled her eyes. "Daddy stop! You're hurting me!"_

_Blinding pain exploded in her head as his fist connected with her jaw. She squealed, tasting the sour flavor of her own blood. She shut her eyes, trying to block out what she knew was coming next._

_The sound of breaking glass forced her eyes open. The man, the one that had been watching her with his intense eyes, was holding the green neck of a beer bottle in one hand and plummeting her father's face with the other. _

_She couldn't move, she couldn't speak so she just watched, her eyes wide and surprisingly entertained. _

_Pavel looked up. She was watching, almost enjoying herself. He pulled her father's head up by the last of his brown hair and forced him on his knees._

"_Apologize and mean it," he said. "Apologize or you're dead."_

"_I'm sorry," the man looked up at Pavel, a prayer nestled in his green eyes._

"_Not to me, asshole! To her!" Pavel stared into the girl's sparkling eyes, his cheeks throbbed from grinning so hard. He winked. "What's your name doll?"_

"_Morgan," she stammered. "Morgan Taylor."_

_He kicked her father in the back. "Apologize to Morgan."_

"_I'm sorry Morgan!"_

"_See," Pavel pinched the sobbing man's cheeks. "How hard was that? Now get off your ass and get the hell out of here! If I ever see your face again I'll blow it off, understand?"_

_Mr. Taylor didn't stick around to nod. He left as quickly as he came, never to be heard from again._

"_I don't know…what should I say to you?"_

"_Nothing," he shook his head and dusted off his clothes. He ruined a good shirt. Oh well, he gained something in the process. "You don't have to go back there. You don't have to go with him."_

_She looked down. She was sliding her snow boots against the pub's hardwood floors. "Got nowhere else to go."_

"_That's not true," he tucked his fingers under her chin, softly forcing her to look at him. "I have a spare room at my apartment. It's yours if you want it. My sister lives there too so you wouldn't be the only woman…"_

"_I don't know…"_

"_Me? Hell, I don't know me. I do know that you don't deserve what your home has to offer. I don't know why, but you struck something in me. Made a part of me work that I thought was dead. All I wanna do is return the favor."_

"_The spare room?"_

_He nodded. "Down the hall from mine. Not too close though. I won't change that."_

"_I'm…I'm still in high school."_

_He shrugged. "Every man's a teenager until he's forty. Come on, Doll. I just wanna help."_

_She grabbed her coat off the back of her stool. "No funny business."_

"_There's no such thing."_

_He slapped a few bills on the counter and took her hand, leading her on._

Pavel spun the boy around to face him. He had his mother's eyes, innocent as a dove's. Pavel gulped, despising the way that woman could subdue him. Morgan had stolen so much of him. She bled him like a butcher's hog and when he was as flat as he could ever be, she took their little doll and left him.

Murder had become the handmaiden of his quest for revenge. Little Morgan loved life, relishing the equality of all sentient life forms. He would punish her. Make her remember that life was an ambiguous, ocular trail. It could not be explained nor predicted, controlled or contained. Life was like him. He would continue to follow her until she realized that he was a vital piece of her puzzle. He would take until she had nothing left to cling to, no more chance cards to play.

He tightened his finger around the trigger. Pavel watched the older Katsaros turn away, his sword in the dust. The man had surrendered, but Pavel knew his mind could not withstand the consequences of his actions. The boy begged, cried, scratched, and clawed. All was fair in love and war.

Then the phone rang.

Pavel groaned. There life went again, changing like the hues of a chameleon. He punched the boy and let him go at the same time. Chuckie fluttered through the air like a balloon slowly losing helium. As he walked toward his desk, where his phone lay, he heard the child land with an audible thud.

"Patch him up and take him to Pasha," Pavel ordered one of his men. "I'm sure she's been worried about him."

"Yes sir."

He watched as the boy was dragged away. Shrugging his broad shoulders, he answered the call. "Yes?"

Her voice, soft as a mellow flute, brought a ghost of a smile to his face. "I'm ready to meet you."

"So soon? You were so adamantly opposed to the idea just days ago."

"I just want to get this over with, all right? After tonight I never want to see you again."

"Oh, I don't know about that my little doll. See, I have three of your favorite playthings. You always wanted me to be so gentle with your toys so as not to break them. I've seemed to have forgotten your technique. Perhaps you could refresh my memory."

She said nothing. He laughed.

"Why don't you come home? You know the one. It's as though you never left."

"Pavel please…promise not to hurt them."

"Promises are just vacuous declarations. Haven't I taught you that much? Now, I'd hurry if I were you. Life doesn't wait for anyone."

* * *

"I just wanted to feel alive," Casey Novak leaned against the skeleton of the bathroom door in her daughter's room. She had one hand clinched into a fist covering her mouth, maiming her words. Her knuckles were bloodless knobs. A deep frown hovered above her eyes. "I wanted to control something. There's nothing you can say that I haven't said to myself already. I was stupid and impetuous, reckless, and an all around idiot. And now that history's decided to repeat itself, I just have to live with it."

Detective Olivia Benson said nothing. There was nothing for her to say. She honestly didn't know why the other woman wanted her there. They'd come a long way in the last few months. Guards had been let down and doors had been opened. However, this was different. This required a decision, a decision no woman could make for another.

Olivia looked at her watch. She sighed, her shoulders slumping a bit. "It's been two minutes."

Casey nodded. She was all business, as if stepping into the bathroom made her someone else. When she emerged she was furiously professional. She placed her hands against the doorframe and stared at her sleeping daughter.

"Well?" Olivia pushed lightly.

Casey didn't even bother to look at her. "I hope it's a girl. Robin always wanted a little sister."

* * *

"Just remember," Detective Logan handed Krista the bugged pair of eyeglasses. "We'll be with you every step of the way. Detective Wheeler, Agents Hooper and Andrews, we're all watching your back."

"He's got Taylor and Chuckie along with my husband. He won't hesitate to blow Charlie and Chuckie's heads off if he finds out I set him up."

"He won't find out."

"Pavel always finds out," Krista shuttered, hugging her arms close to her chest. "The first time I tried to leave I was eight months pregnant. He put my arm through a Plexiglas window after he accused me of sleeping with one of his men. He found me at the bus station. He sat me down in the living room, gave me two dolls, and asked me which one I wanted to go…"

"He can't hurt you anymore…"

"Krista says that all the time, but I know she's lying. Glenys always said Daddy was going to stop, but he never did. Until Pavel made him stop."

"Morgan, why do you love your dolls so much?"

"When we first came from Wales Mommy and Daddy had to work all the time. They worked day and night and we never had anything. I was too little to go to school at first so Glenys had to stay with me while they were gone. We used to walk past this fancy toy store. They had these pretty dolls made out of clay. They had painted faces and perfect curls… I wanted one _so_ bad, but we didn't have any money. We never had enough money for the things I wanted. Pavel did though. He gave me all the dolls I wanted. I wanted to give them to Pasha, but Krista said we had to leave them. She said we had to pretend to be different people so Pavel wouldn't make us choose again."

"Choose what?"

"I wouldn't choose, I knew it was another one of his games," Krista slammed her fist on the table. She laughed as she cried, tears splattering in all directions. "Those dolls, those stupid dolls. One of them was my mother and the other one was my sister. I didn't know, I swear I didn't know! I picked my mother. He…he shot her in the head on her way to work. She was a housekeeper. The family she worked for loved her. It drove Daddy to another break. Pavel made me keep the newspaper clippings."

"This is your chance to make it right Krista," Logan smoothed her hair as she sobbed into his chest. "Pavel doesn't deserve the leniency you've shown."

As he watched Wheeler and Andrews usher Krista from the conference room, he felt Hooper's cement eyes boring into his back.

"If it wasn't too late, I'd pull out of this and spend the rest of my career gunning for your badge."

Logan grimaced. "Is this about the dinner invitation because honestly, it was a cruel joke at my expense…"

"You're as chauvinistic as you are redundant, Detective," Hooper rolled her eyes. Reaching into her briefcase, she slapped a file on the table. "You failed to mention any of this."

Logan opened the file, scanned it, and arched his brow. "How was I supposed to know? I hadn't come into contact with her until the day we interviewed her. How was I supposed to know…"

"That the star of this dog and pony show suffers from Dissociative Personality Disorder? I don't know, maybe you do a little research? That's how I figured it out. Morgan Taylor participated in a paid clinical DID study when she was fifteen at the behest of her therapist. She reported documented cases of child abuse. The study was a ground breaking one as brain imaging showed distinctive differences in cerebral blood flow when each alter was present."

Logan crossed his arms. "That was informative…"

"So important that it was documented in several psychological journals. You were so hell bent on closing this case that you decided that sending one lunatic to reel in another was the best course of action!"

"Well why aren't you stopping me?"

"Because I want Pavel Kuzmin and I want him bad. And lets not forget the fact that he's holding two young children and my star witness hostage. A lot is riding on this, Detective. If she screws this up, we'll both be sitting on the dock of the bay, watching the ships roll in on Staten Island.

* * *

_So "Mr. Follow-the-Book",_

_What brings you along this way?_

_Feeling lucky wanna play?_

_But don't do as I do, just do exactly as I say_

An hour later, Krista Bowen-Katsaros entered the living room of her former prison to find her captor sitting by the fireplace, sipping a cup of coffee. He smiled brightly when he noticed her, immediately setting his cup on the coffee table and rising from his seat.

"Morgan," he threw his arms around her, kissing both her cheeks. "I thought you'd never come."

"You didn't give me much of a choice Pavel," she wiggled out of the embrace and leveled him with gelid eyes. "And don't call me Morgan."

"Choices," he shook his head. The flames from the fire flickered and danced on his face. "They're forks in our path aren't they? Two sides to the coin if you will. You could have easily refused me, Morgan."

"It's never easy to refuse you Pavel."

That seemed to ignite a burst of pleasure in him. He brushed the pads of his fingers against her cheek. When she flinched, he just kept on stroking as if she didn't matter. "I see you've learned that lesson. Was it hard to suss out? It certainly was easy and a pleasure to teach."

The contentment in his words made her stomach tighten. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and realized she couldn't allow them to matter. He could not matter if she wanted everything to work. She had a job to do, a job that would fix everything.

She opened her eyes and surveyed the room. "Where are my children? Where's Charlie?"

"Pasha and the boy are in her room. They've been fed. Last I heard Pasha was reading to him. She's so loyal. She loves him fiercely. It's quite touching, almost inspires me to keep him alive."

She pushed his threat aside. He was testing her. Everything was a test with him. "And Charlie?"

"He's comfortable."

She nodded. "What do I need to do to keep them alive?"

"I don't think you're ready for that yet," he smiled again. He waved at the black leather sofa in the center of the room. "Please, sit. Shall I have some tea brought down? Have you eaten?"

To his surprise—or was it to his dismay? He hadn't decided yet—she looked so calm, remote, and unafraid. He was sure it was an act, a finely sewn veil. It was beautiful. So well made, yet so worn.

"Cut the crap," her tone was devoid off emotion and interest. "What do you want from me?"

He smiled a nasty smile and pushed her towards the couch. "I asked you to sit down. Please do not force me to repeat myself."

She sat. "Well?"

The smile vanished. "Why do you take that tone with me? And why are you so uncomfortable? We loved each other once, we share a child, the least you could do is show me some respect."

"I don't owe you any respect Pavel! You murdered my sister! _Children!_ Little defenseless children that hadn't done anything to you! And Taylor, she saw them. Nightmares, for weeks because of what _you_ did. You're a pathetic, poor excuse for a man. I hate you!"

He tilted his head and blinked. That was certainly unexpected, but it would not go unpunished. "You are in no position to criticize me, Morgan! Not after all that you've done. Does your husband know? Does he even know who you _really _are? Beyond Morgan Taylor? Does he know what you're capable of when you're cornered?"

"There are no secrets between Charlie and I. He loves Taylor and I, more than you ever have."

"Her name is Pasha! Tell me, how could you take her from me? How could you let her grow up without knowing her father's love? And then of all things, you subject her to the banality that is Charles Katsaros? He is a man cut from the same mold as your father's, a man you wanted so desperately to escape! Why revert back to your old hell?"

Krista let out a rueful laugh. "I could gage the tide. I still can. Charlie's safe, easy. He can love me with no strings. No impossible demands or iron chains. I hold the key and he knows it."

Pavel showed her his teeth. "Gage the tide? That means you think you can tell what's coming? You've learned nothing! I think it's time we played a little game."

Pavel clapped his hands loudly and two men appeared, dragging Charles Katsaros Sr. in by the arms. He was bleeding from the nose and a nasty gash on his head, but otherwise alive. Another one carried a squirming and screaming Chuckie who had a swollen nose.

"You say you know what's coming right?" Pavel looked at Krista and shrugged before standing up. "Here's the game plan: I give a command and you do as I say. Simple. Everybody understand?"

Charlie nodded slowly. Krista, however, was not easily sold. "It doesn't have to be like this…"

"Or I could kill them now. No skin off my back."

A chill shot through her. She kept it from her face.

Pavel's eyes continued to dance. "You're afraid now, aren't you?"

"There's nothing to fear."

Pavel's lips peeled back from his teeth. "No?" he withdrew his beretta from his belt and shot Charlie in the foot. He turned to her. "Next one kills the boy. So, are you in?"

She wanted to go to her husband as he toppled over in pain and to her little boy as he screamed himself hoarse, but she had to keep at this. So much rested upon this.

"That was easy wasn't it?" Pavel returned his gun to its holster. "Now, I know you loved your family. I know you loved your sister. You see, Glenys failed you. She couldn't protect you from your father and she couldn't protect you from me. She had her own family to care for. You and little Pasha were just burdens. She told me, you know, she told me that you had been there. Right after I shot her first born, she became a fountain of information."

"You killed my sister…"

"Of course I did! Don't you see? You left me no choice! You betrayed me! You didn't deserve the luxury of security, not after what you stole from me!"

She wanted to cry, but be damned if she would do so innfront of him. "And my husband? Why him? Why go through all the trouble when you could've just killed me and be done with it."

"Kill you? That's much too cliché, don't you think? I just wanted you to come home. I made you. I carved you out of the rigid, terrified piece of clay that I met at that damned bar. Why should some other man reap the benefits of my hard work? Why would I allow some other man to taint the perfection that was my flesh and blood? The others were so easy, so unimportant, but this one…oh he was valuable…"

Pavel allowed himself a laugh, harsh and bitter. He turned to Charlie, who was doing his damndest not to cry. Probably trying to spare his son from anymore trauma. "You know what's ironic, Mr. Katsaros? You financed your own child's demise. Hitmen are extremely expensive these days and while we're on the subject, how is little Robin? Has her mother put her out of her misery yet?"

Charlie said nothing, his blue eyes as cold and impenetrable as a shark's.

The nascent rage in Pavel's heart could no longer hide behind good manners. Murder and revenge were riveted together in life and life could not be controlled. The ending of one, however, always came with some sort of judgment.

"You've left me no choice, Morgan. The chickens have come home to roost. I gave you countless opportunities to come back to me, but you fended me off each time. However, I am a generous man or at least I can pretend to be. I know how much you value life. I understand how much you cherish these two lives in front of you. So I'll let you keep one. Charles or Chuckie, the choice is yours."

"Excuse me?"

"Nobody has time for this. Either you make the choice or they both die!"

"I can't!"

"Then I can!"

Pavel raised his gun, but he didn't have the opportunity to carry out his final promise. His front door was reduced to splinters. A sea of black flooded the room, screams and demands shook the walls. He lost her in the chaos. He shook his head as he was forced to the ground. Life had charted another course. Her life trumped his, his end was turned into a tactical gambit.

He heard them tell her that both of her children were safe and that Charlie was receiving medical attention. They congratulated her, thanked her, made her out to be a hero. Pavel was disgusted. After all he'd done for her, all he's given, after everything he was willing to lose she would still betray him. That was life.

Knowing that life could not be tamed, he was not surprised that she picked up his own gun and used it to blow his brains out. What surprised his most was the part of her who did it.

Morgan Taylor's brown eyes were cold and calculating, her lips full and hard as she pulled the trigger—ending the life of the man that had stolen hers. She kept the weapon trained on him, even as he went down. Her ex-husband landed on the carpet of his living room with an audible thud. They all looked so shocked, but she shivered a bit. Krista Bowen-Katsaros was glad about that. It gave her a sign that there was still something inside of her, something she could fix.

"He was never going to let us go. He would've gotten free and it was never going to stop."

"Morgan, you're okay now, why don't you give me the gun?" Detective Mike Logan scrambled over to the young man. He reached for the weapon and to his surprise she let him take it. "Let's get you out of here."

"I killed him?" It was more a question than a statement. Her eyes were defrosting and for the first time in years, she wondered who she was. She tilted her head and stared at the body. Her eyes widened in confusion. "Why did I do that?"

"Morgan…come on…we need to get back to the station," he said gently, trying to ease the woman away. She wouldn't have it. Shrugging his hand away, she slowly—very slowly—fell to her knees.

Choices, there were always choices. She always assumed that when he was gone she would be free. She would be without price, without bond, without fear. She'd done it again, ended things on the basis of an assumption.

Krista knew it was worth it, that it had to be done. Secrets had to be kept and if Pavel Kuzmin was left to fester, nobody would be safe."

"What happens now?" Krista asked flatly.

"Why did you do it?" Hooper asked desperately. She couldn't bring herself to yell. Everything they worked for bled out the moment Morgan pulled the trigger. "We had him! We had everything!"

Krista looked them square in the eye. "Because dead men can't talk."

_I'll take it all away, burn it on the way,_

_I'll take it all away, I'm running on the way_

* * *

Six months later a little girl walked through the door of Shady Creek Rehabilitation Center to be greeted with, "Good morning, Kid. How are ya?"

"Good," she smiled, responding to the man at the front desk. "Today's my birthday! I'm officially eight."

"Congratulations. How's school coming?"

"S'okay," she shrugged. "I start my regular school after Christmas break. I have a tutor that comes to my house. She's kinda boring, but she knows a lot."

"That about sums up most adults," the man turned his jovial eyes on the child's mother, who was swinging her daughter's hand. "How's that baby doing?"

The woman placed her hand on her swollen belly and smiled. "She's kicking like a soccer player."

"We better go Mommy. My appointment starts at twelve. Nice seeing you again Mr. Samson."

"You too, Robin. Casey. Have a happy birthday Robin."

Casey Novak watched as her daughter walked down the hall, her steps slow and deliberate. Looking at her it was hard to believe she'd come close to dying. In the last six months she'd woken up from a coma, relearned how to hold her head up, talk, sit up, and even walk. She miraculously survived and had made an even more astounding recovery.

Yet, so much work lie ahead. Her vision had become impaired, to the point of her needing glasses. Her right arm was virtually immobile, hampering Robin's ability as a catcher. She had yet to regain her memories and was still reeling from the emotional trauma surrounding her injuries and subsequent amnesia.

However, Robin was slowly returning to the witty, precocious little girl had her mother had always known. She was looking forward to being a big sister and had already begun practicing with her little brother Chuckie. She and Taylor had also developed a close bond stemming from their mutual need to remember their father.

Charles Katsaros disappeared shortly after his wife's murder trial, never to be heard from again. Robin certainly wasn't happy about that and Casey, well, she never knew what she wanted out of their relationship. So many things were left unsaid, big questions left unanswered. Casey figured it was better that way.

New lives had risen like a phoenix from the ashes left from the destruction of the former ones, leaving one little bird with the one thing she'd always wanted.

A nest.

_Green eyes_

_Honey you are the sea_

_Upon which I float_

_And I came here to talk_

_I think you should know_

_That green eyes, you're the one that I wanted to find_

_And anyone who, tried to deny you must be out of their mind_

_Cause I came here with a load_

_And it feels so much lighter, since I met you_

_Honey you should know, that I could never go on without you_

* * *

**A/N: **So, this is the first ending I've ever written. Yay or nay?

Look for the epilogue by the end of this week. You Charlie haters are going to love it :)

And look for the sequel. I hope to have it up some time within the next two weeks.

I was gonna have you guys help me name the new Casey/Charlie spawn, but I overruled you and picked a name. Thanks **Zero-Zip **for the help.

And my request still stands: Let me know what you all think! What worked for you, what didn't, what could've been fixed? I use your feedback for improvement purposes so throw it at me! :D

The lyrics in this chapter are Cruel Man by Intwine and Green Eyes by Coldplay. The playlist should be up when I post the epilogue.

And last but not least I'd like to thank: **AnaDry, CocaCola1052, Hedila, minimeNL, ****pokeuwithneedles, katie, TVCrazed, red lighting, futureforensic, Hope06, Jamrock, protego-totalum88, CNovak929, TearsofTomorrow, aMerryBerr**y, **Bookworm0485, zero-zip, and Clarissa42 **for your awesome reviews. This also goes for the folks that have the story and me on their alert lists (I would have named you guys too, but some people are secretive about their alert lists).

Thanks guys! It's been grand!


	22. Coda

**A/N: **Okay, really, this is really the end. Again, thank you all for your unwavering support. All of you have been overwhelmingly wonderful.

* * *

**Epilogue: Coda**

_'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life_

_Try to make ends meet_

_Try to find some money then you die_

_I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down_

_You know the one that takes you to the places_

_where all the things meet_

May 2007

"Yard sale at Mia Farrow's?" John Munch quipped, glancing at the ADA over the rim of his glasses.

Casey Novak strolled into the squad room of Manhattan's Special Victim's Unit, balancing her fifteen-month-old daughter on her left hip and a stack of files under her right arm. Her eight-year-old daughter wasn't far behind with her mother's briefcase on her shoulder and a smaller pile of paperwork in her two hands.

"You should be kissing my feet," Casey slapped a few folders on the older detective's desk. "I stayed up half the night finishing these."

"She didn't have a choice," Robin shrugged her mother's briefcase to the floor and contributed her stack to the mound of folders and paper on Munch's desk. "Georgie was up all night with her allergies."

And right on cue, little Georgina Elizabeth Novak let out a microscopic sneeze. Robin smiled and wiggled her little sister's shoe.

"See."

"Are any of those for me?" Detective Olivia Benson pointed to the mountain on Munch's desk. Sipping her coffee, she gave a small yawn. She had spent the night in the crib, as a trying case hadn't allowed her the opulent comfort of her own bed. "How's it going Robin? And who do we have here?"

Olivia held her arms out to the little red head and Casey relinquished her, the toddler giggling with delight at all the attention. The detective used one hand to keep Georgie occupied, playing like a creeping animal that finally raced up and tickled her pale stomach.

"She's looking more and more like you every day," Olivia smiled at Casey, who had sparked up a conversation with Munch and Fin.

"I think she looks like our dad," Robin's face dimmed, as if a shadow had been drawn across her eyes. She looked at her watch. "His funeral starts in an hour."

"I'm sorry about your father Robin," Olivia used her free hand to squeeze the girl's shoulder. "I know this is hard for you."

She shrugged, as if to say it didn't hurt "It's okay. I mean, I never knew him," Robin curled her hands over her shoulders; the velvet of her black dress tickled her fingers. She surveyed the room. "Where's Detective Stabler?"

"Parent teacher conferences at his son's school."

"Oh," the girl fidgeted a bit, tracing her fingertips over the heart shaped pendant on her neck. "Hey, um, is it okay if I ask you something?"

"Sure," Olivia nodded, prying Georgie's pudgy fingers away from her earrings.

"Mommy said you never knew your dad."

The detective's brown eyes darkened at the mention of her father, but she nodded nonetheless. "No, he and I have never met." _I'm not sure I want to change that._

"Everything says that I know him. I have pictures of the two of us, you know, before the accident. Yiayia even has a video of us playing catch in the yard. It's like he was never here. None of that other stuff matters and now he's gone and I can't fix it. And it's his fault I got hurt, but I can't make myself be mad at him. It's like being mad at Georgie because she breaks my stuff. It isn't really her fault because she can't help it, but it's still broken. It can never come back."

"Sometimes the best way we can fix something is to let it go," Olivia said. "If we let it run our lives, we miss out on so much. Your father loved you. Try to hold on to that."

"Could you love your father, even though he's a stranger?"

Olivia wanted so desperately to answer the question, but there were no words. It was after all, the conundrum that defined her entire existence.

Robin seemed to lose interest when her mother informed them that it was time to go. Casey relieved Olivia of her baby and Robin picked up her mother's briefcase. The girl allowed her family to go ahead of her and as she turned to leave, she offered Olivia a small smile.

"Thanks for helping me."

Olivia cocked her head to the side. She nodded, smiling. "You can always come to me for help."

* * *

_'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life_

_Try to make ends meet_

_You're a slave to money then you die_

_I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down_

_You know the one that takes you to the places_

_where all the veins meet_

"Amen," the small crowd gathered at Cedar Lawn Cemetery repeated in bereaved unison. Muffled cries and whimpers accentuated the reflective peace of the small cluster of family and friends.

Attending Charles Alexandros Katsaros, Sr.'s memorial was an unmerited insult as far as his middle child was concerned. Everyone, with their vivid memories and funny stories, felt like the proverbial slap in the face. Robin Novak had always known that her father was a deeply flawed man with elements of his life that were unruly and corrupted. Control had been given to him and quickly taken. It was so unfair! They all had something to hold onto, some way to make him perfect. She had nothing but pictures and other people's memories.

She had never been so angry in her entire life.

Her brother and sister were sobbing in Yiayia's arms. Life had been cruel to them. They had lost both of their parents. Their father was trapped in an ugly casket and a suit that made him look like a grocery bag. Their mother was trapped in her mind, trying to keep up with the two women that controlled her life.

And Mommy, she didn't know what Mommy thought. Casey Novak probably didn't care. That made Robin angry too. Mommy got the best of Daddy and she didn't even want it.

She wanted to make somebody hurt. She wanted them to know what it was like. She couldn't bring herself to do anything. Nobody deserved it, not even her worst enemy. So she remained in her pretty little white chair, staring daggers into her father's final resting place.

His ears must have been burning for Brandon Hunter, Robin's sworn enemy, plopped down in the chair next to her.

"I'm. Sorry. About. Your. Dad."

She whipped around, glaring at him with burning anger and sadness. "I. Speak. English. Go. Away. Or. You'll. Be. The. Only. Hunter. In. Heaven. With. A. Wheel. Chair."

Brandon rolled his eyes. "Let's call a truce. For today?"

She frowned and stared straight ahead. Then she nodded. "Fine. Where's Jason?"

"He took Josie to the bathroom."

"Oh."

Brandon fidgeted in his chair, crossing his legs, and then uncrossing them. "I wish my dad was in that casket."

"Why?" Robin gasped. "You should be happy you have a dad."

"I don't have a dad either. Some people are made to be dads and some just ain't."

Robin shrugged. "I'll never know what kind I had."

Brandon nodded. "You didn't cry. Your brother and sister cried."

"They lost somebody."

"You lost your memory. That's not fair either. So why don't you cry about that."

And so she did.

Brandon wrapped his arm around her and they both watched the casket.

Satisfied, Robin dried her eyes with the back of her hand. "I'll kill you if you tell anybody."

"Don't you read comic books? Sometimes your enemy can be your only friend."

_Well I never pray_

_But tonight I'm on my knees yeah_

_I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah_

_I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now_

_But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now_

* * *

Seven hours away, someone realized that life had run its course. They reached inside the old clock on the mantel, resetting the time. Now all they needed was a map.

_No change, I can change_

_I can change, I can change_

_But I'm here in my mold_

_I am here in my mold_

_And I'm a million different people_

_from one day to the next_

_I can't change my mold_

_No, no, no, no, no_

_I can't change_

* * *

**A/N: **And so, there you have it. :)

For a summary of the sequel, visit my profile. :D

And do the same if you'd like to listen to the playlist.

Of course, you guys rock.

Oh, the lyrics are by The Verve and the tune is Bittersweet Symphony.

Oh#2: The Mia Farrow line came from Niles the Butler on the Nanny. I recently got obsessed with that show and Niles…

Oh#3: The Brandon/Robin scene is dedicated to **TvCrazed** since you asked for a moment between the two. :)

And on a random note: Georgie is named after my friend by the same. When I got sick at 4AM…she brought me soup an hour later. Georgie's middle name, Elizabeth, is for **Zero-Zip** because she puts up with me. She's also kinda named for Elizabeth Donnelly because she is the best TV judge ever...


	23. Read

Bon jour!

I'm sure you're wondering why I'm posting a faux update on an old story…

Well, I've decided to rewrite it. I've got some time on my hands and some serious writer's block when it comes to _Favorite Worst Nightmare _so I figured: why not?

Looking back, I'm not feeling the way _Defining the Nest _played out. From Casey and Charlie's relationship to Robin's coma—there were some serious inconsistencies that frankly annoyed teh shit out of me. To make a long story short: I'm remodeling this sucker to:

Patch some major plot fails. **Exhibit A**: Casey's insta-pregnancy. **Exhibit B**: Robin's one-month coma and insta-recovery. **Exhibit C**: Krista's role in Charlie and Robin's car accident.

Revamp the entire plot line so that **A**: it makes sense and **B**: so it isn't as erratic as Charlie's thought process.

So, if you guys are interested, I'll be posting the first chapter tomorrow.

Audi 5000,

x Cusswords


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